They want to see an officer!' she hissed. 'But S'arnt Colon isn't back and I knocked on Mr Vimes's door and I don't think he's in.'
Carrot composed his features into a welcoming smile.
'Mrs Palm, he said. 'And Mr Boggis... and Dr Downey. I am so sorry. We're rather stretched at present, what with the poisoning and this business with the golems - '
The head of the Assassins' Guild smiled, but only with his mouth. 'It's about the poisoning we wish to speak,' he said. 'Is there somewhere a little less public?'
'Well, there's the canteen,' said Carrot. 'It'll be empty at this time of night. If you'd just step this way...'
'You do well for yourselves here, I must say,' said Mrs Palm. 'A canteen - '
She stopped as she stepped through the door.
'People eat in here?' she said.
'Well, grumble about the coffee, mostly,' said Carrot. 'And write their reports. Commander Vimes is keen on reports.'
'Captain Carrot,' said Dr Downey, firmly, 'we have to talk to you on a grave matter concerning - What have I sat in?'
Carrot brushed a chair hurriedly. 'Sorry, sir, we don't seem to have much time to clean up - '
'Leave it for now, leave it for now.'
The head of the Assassins' Guild leaned forward with his hands pressed together.
'Captain Carrot, we are here to discuss this terrible matter of the poisoning of Lord Vetinari.'
'You really ought to talk to Commander Vimes - '
'I believe that on a number of occasions Commander Vimes has made derogatory comments to you about Lord Vetinari,' said Dr Downey.
'You mean like He ought to be hung except they can't find a twisty enough rope ?' said Carrot. 'Oh, yes. But everyone does that.'
'Do you?'
'Well, no,' Carrot admitted.
'And I believe he personally took over the investigation of the poisoning?'
'Well, yes. But - '
'Didn't you think that was odd?'
'No, sir. Not when I thought about it. I think he's got a sort of soft spot for the Patrician, in his way. He once said that if anyone was going to kill Vetinari he'd like it to be him.'
'Indeed?'
'But he was smiling when he said it. Sort of smiling, anyway.'
'He, er, visits his lordship most days, I believe?'
'Yes, sir.'
'And I understand that his efforts to discover the poisoner have not reached any conclusions?'
'Not as such, sir,' said Carrot. 'We've found a lot of ways he's not being poisoned.'
Downey nodded at the others. 'We would like to inspect the Commander's office,' he said.