The Fifth Elephant (Discworld 24) - Page 109

"Absolutely not," said Sybil. "I wouldn"t hear of it! If it"s not too dangerous for Sam, it"s not too dangerous for me."

"I wouldn"t argue with her if I was you," said Vimes to Inigo. "I really wouldn"t."

The wolf was not very happy about being tethered to a tree but, as Gaspode said, never trust nobody.

They"d paused a while in a wood about five miles from the town. It"d be a brief stop, Carrot had said. Some of the people in the square looked the sort who treasured their lack of a sense of humour.

After some barking and growling Gaspode said, "You got to understand that matey here is pers"nally non gratis in local wolf society, being a bit of, ahaha, lone wolf..."

"Yes?" Carrot was taking the roast chickens out of their sack. Gaspode"s eyes fixed on them.

"But he hears the howlin" at night."

"Ah, wolves communicate?"

"Basic"ly your wolf howl is just another way of pissin" against a tree to say it"s your damn tree, but there"s always bits of news, too. Something pasty"s happenin" in Uberwald. He doesn"t know what." Gaspode lowered his voice. "Between you and me, our friend here was well behind the door when the brains was handed out. If wolves was people, he"d be like Foul Ole Ron."

"What"s his name?" said Carrot thoughtfully.

Gaspode gave Carrot a Look. Who cared what a wolf was called?

"Wolf names is difficult," he said. "More like a description, see? It"s not like callin" yourself Mr Snuggles or Bonzo, you understand..."

"Yes, I know. So what is his name?"

"You want to know what his name is, then?"

"Yes, Gaspode."

"So, in fact, it"s the name of this wolf you want to know?"

"That is correct."

Gaspode shifted uneasily. "Arsehole," he said.

"Oh." To the dog"s frank astonishment, Carrot blushed.

"That"s basic"ly a summary, but it"s a pretty good translation," he said. "I wouldn"t have mentioned it, but you did ask..."

Gaspode stopped and whined for a moment, trying to convey the message that he was losing his voice due to lack of chicken.

"Er, there"s been a lot on the howl about Angua," he went on, when Carrot seemed unable to take the hint. "Er, they think she"s bad news."

"Why? She"s travelling as a wolf, after all."

"Wolves hate werewolves."

"What? That can"t be right! When she"s wolf-shaped she"s just like a wolf!"

"So? When she"s human-shaped she"s just like a human. And what"s that got to do with anything? Humans don"t like werewolves. Wolves don"t like werewolves. People don"t like wolves that can think like people, an" people don"t like people who can act like wolves. Which just shows you that people are the same everywhere," said Gaspode. He assessed this sentence and added, "Even when they"re wolves."

"I never thought of it like that."

"And she smells wrong. Wolves are very sensitive to that sort of thing."

"Tell me more about the howl."

"Oh, it"s like the clacky thing. News gets spread for hundreds of miles."

Tags: Terry Pratchett Discworld Fantasy
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