Don’t forget to draw down the dream you wish there
Like a balloon pulled from the sky
And carry it with you while
You walk down the street
So you might notice me finally when I find you there
I felt like a penny
Picked up, rubbed clean, and then used
To make a wish for something more.
Why did you have to change the way
You loved me?
Because you wanted to be best?
Closer?
More secure?
Why did you have to change the way
You spoke to me?
Because I couldn’t love you back the way
You wanted?
And it made you bitter
Turned you toxic?
Why did you have to change the way
You touched me?
The hand once around my shoulder sliding
Down the crease of my inner thigh
Pulling me close when you should be pushing me away
Because now your lust was in our way
Why did you have to change the way
You loved me?
Because now,
It is impossible for me to love you back.
It is its own kind of miracle
How someone can look at you
Like you have hung the silver moon
In the velvet sky of their most luxurious dreams
One moment
And
The next
They never want to see you
Again
Romance novels made me an insomniac
I waited by the phone in the darkest hours
Held my breath until the silence mocked me
And the emptiness of the room without you
Began to echo
Overripe with love
You fall from the limb
Too ready
Too willing to be had
You break open on the ground
Only food for the flies
You were moonlit sonatas
And the stars in the sky
We were young and hopeless with wishes tied to clouds
Like children’s balloons
We didn’t know they were so
Fragile
That close to the heavens
We didn’t know
That even stardust could rust over time
Anything for love
They say
Let that count for love of self too
If your soul cries out for it
It’s not selfish
It’s sustenance
Don’t settle for friendship
When you need love
Don’t settle for sometimes
When you deserve someone’s always
You have the worth you give yourself
Your worth is not measured by the angle of your hips
And the gap between your thighs
In the weight of your breasts
And the breadth of your smile.
It’s hidden shyly in the corners of your face
For few to find.
A flower safe guarded in the middle
Of a book you have to study
Before you find the prize.
The true currency of your glamour.
Sometimes a person’s got a soul so pretty
It makes them glow prettier than anything else.
Lust is no true substitute for pure care.
I have an entire galaxy in my soul
And you have only landed on the moon
Do not think
Because you can see my stars
That you have earned the right to colonize them
You pushed and pulled
Breaking apart an old house
Thinking you wanted what was in it
All the baggage you thought was treasure
Finally
The boards cracked under your pressure
And I broke open
Just the way you wanted
Exactly what you worked for
All my secrets
And my troubles
My old house aches and pains
At your feet for you to pilfer.
We didn’t speak after that.
There is a black hole at the center of every universe.
It yawns
Stretches
And contracts
But it is constant
Ever hungry.
So,
You feed it.
Sweet bursts of sugar
Deep draughts of the finest wine.
You fill it with vicious violence and
Blood red rage
With sex and sinning
Envy and greed.
It eats
And eats
Everything you give it
But sometimes
The right times
All it takes is a mirror to prop before it
And it doesn’t seem so depthless after all.
What do you feed your demons?
Remember
It is you who makes a lie come alive.
Someone need only sow the seed
In the fertile field of your mind
Where they might watch it take root
In your insecurities
Flourish under the drizzle of your fears
And blossom in the sunny belief you hold
For anyone who lets you love them.
This is how a lie takes hold.
There are not enough love letters about friendship
How it feels to know you have a home
Inside the heart of another being
They are the kerchief for your tears
The arms around your shaking shoulders
The hands that help carry your burdens
There are not enough love letters about friendship
Yet they suffer the same betrayals
And there is nothing as brutal as a knife in the back
From a person you trusted with all your pain
I’ve found
That the worst monsters
Have the prettiest faces
The art of deception.
His laugh was bitter and sharp with hate
I swallowed it down like hemlock
And wondered how long it would take
I have an encyclopedic knowledge
Of all your flaws
I ripped out the pages
Of things to love
Verbs of worship and nouns that rhyme
With your name
I burned the edges of the Holy Bible
Because you once told me
God wasn’t as important as our love
And in the end,
It was the biggest lie you ever told
Love looks best on you
But honestly,
Hate is pretty too.
She tends to her anger like a garden
Waters the earth with her hot salt tears
So that only red flowers can bloom
Poppies to commemorate a violent death
Of something she once held so dear
Digs up the weeds with her bare hands
And bleeding broken nails
So that her skin is stained just as dark
As the bruises she secrets away on her heart
She tends to her garden of ivy and wrath
Like a groundskeeper