“Why not?”
“Not exactly sure. I have my suspicions.”
I sit up and look over at Cree, wondering why Casey wouldn’t like him. Everyone liked Cree, especially the straight girls. A lot of guys came on to him, too. Even when someone wasn’t attracted to him that way, Cree was such an easygoing guy, he made friends with all sorts of people. Even when girls found out what he preferred, they still...
Suddenly, I realize why Casey wouldn
’t want anything to do with Cree.
“She doesn’t like you because you like rough sex.”
“Um, well”—Cree reaches up and scratches the back of his head—“that’s kinda been my assumption, but there’s no way I was going to ask her about it.”
I nod, realizing I might have actually said too much. I always thought Cree knew everything about everyone, but if Casey never talked to him, he wouldn’t know details about her past, and I shouldn’t be the one to tell him. He always said it was important to keep private discussions private, which is why I never worried about him telling anyone about my past.
“My point is,” Cree says, “Casey has spent a lot of time and energy getting to where she is now, which is here with you. She wants this, and I don’t think you have to tell her everything the first night just because she wants you to.”
If she wants me to. I do want to tell Casey, but another thought is stuck in my head. Casey wants me. She wants to know me, and according to Cree, she spent a lot of time preparing for it. I’m still not sure why she’s attracted to me, but Cree is right about one thing—if she was patient enough to learn rope for me, coupled with her willingness to talk about her own history, she’s probably going to give me time to tell her about my past.
“And if you do want to tell her right away,” Cree says, still talking though I hadn’t been listening, “that’s fine, but give yourself some credit for trying, and don’t rush things. Tell her a little bit—maybe about your last group home or how you got into college. Start small, and don’t beat yourself up over it.”
I nod, trying to focus on what he’s saying to me.
“I don’t know if any of it makes sense unless I start at the beginning.” I let out a long breath.
“Then start there if that’s what works for you. Figure out in your head a single sentence that will get you going, and move on from there. Most of all, give yourself time. Casey’s waited this long to be with you, and she isn’t going to go running because it takes you a while to talk. I mean, it’s clear you two have hit it off.”
“It is?”
“It is an open dungeon, dude. You might be a bit secluded back there, but I could hear you over the music.”
“Oh!” I feel my face heat up, but Cree just smiles and claps me on the shoulder.
“That was the first time, wasn’t it?”
“Yeah.”
“Seems like you had a good time.”
I reach up and push my hair out of my eyes, not sure what I should say.
“It’s all good, Roc.” Cree leans a little closer to me and places his arm around my shoulders. “I’m proud of you. Proud of both of you. I wasn’t sure Casey was ready for it.”
“It was...intense,” I finally say.
“I’m sure it was. If you want, you can tell me all about it later. For now, I think you should get back to your girl.”
“My girl?”
“Is that what you want?”
“Yeah. Yeah, it is.”
“Then go, because it’s clear she and Kas aren’t going to be best friends. Best we rescue them both before it gets any worse.”
I look across the room and see Casey standing with her arms crossed, glaring at Kas. Kas takes a step back, as if struck in the face, and Cree starts walking faster.
Chapter 8—Casey