“Ashlin Thomas?” It was a raspy voice that sounded corrupted by years of smoking.
I cleared my voice. “That is me. May I ask who this is?”
Harris stirred beside me and was now watching me. “Miss Thomas, I’m Officer Dreary. I hate doing this over the phone, but it says you live in Manhattan. Is that correct?”
“Yes, what is this about?”
He cleared his throat. “Leelyn Thomas had a heart attack tonight and was pronounced dead on arrival. She had pushed her Life Alert button, but the paramedics were unable to make it to her in time. She had you listed as the next of kin.”
My fingers dropped the phone as my world spun. I cradled my head in my hands. Breaths expelled from my body faster and faster. There wasn’t enough oxygen. Harris’ voice somewhat registered in all the cotton that had set up shop in my head. Aunt Leelyn is gone. Aunt Leelyn is gone. I’m alone. She was the only family I had left. Tears cascaded down my face as a wrecking ball smashed through my heart, obliterating anything in its path. Sobs erupted from my chest. Warm arms came around me.
“I overheard. I’m so sorry, Ashlin. We’ll get down to Savannah immediately. I’ve already sent a text to have the company plane ready to go as soon as we’re packed. I know how special Aunt Leelyn was to you. She was a wonderful woman.” Harris’ consoling words helped as I clung to him and gripped his suit shirt, soaking it with my sorrowful tears.
He is here for me. Harris is here for me. There is hope.
For now, I pushed away my earlier thoughts. I needed to focus on getting to Savannah. The storm that brewed between Harris and I could wait. My Aunt Leelyn was gone and there was only so much hurt my heart could take.
It was a beautiful fall day, which was ironic considering how desolate and sad I felt. My body and heart were exhausted as we drove to my Aunt Leelyn’s house from the funeral in the early afternoon. This would be the first time I would step foot into her historic home on Oglethorpe Street since she passed. Driving, we passed trees that had moss hanging from them as the home approached.
The trees swayed in the slight breeze. I focused on any and every small detail I could find to keep my mind from reliving the realization that the woman who had been like a mother to me was gone. I felt lost, like a ship without an anchor being tossed from wave to wave in a storm.
Hopefully being surrounded by the love I felt in her home would give me some peace as I came to terms with everything. Will I ever come to terms with the loss? I hadn’t with my dad or my mom, and I had a feeling there would be a bigger hole left within me with Aunt Leelyn’s passing.
For the last three days, I had been on autopilot as arrangements were made. Aunt Leelyn had requested to be cremated, but the service and all that entailed still had to be completed. Most of it had already been detailed out in the will, but confirming everything was still exhausting.
Harris had put us up in the Bohemian Hotel on the River Front. Needless to say, it was the nicest hotel in the area. I had wanted to stay at Aunt Leelyn’s house, but was too distraught to stand my ground and push for it.
Harris had been caring through everything, which had surprised me. At times, as he held me while I cried, I felt the us we used to be. My heart craved that connection on an atomic level. Harris still held me at arm’s length some, but at least it hadn’t been the majority of the time like normal. His actions still hurt and confused me on where my heart was at.
My emotions felt like they were being whiplashed about. The car pulled up to the three-story white brick home with its black shutters. I imagined my Aunt Leelyn walking out the door to greet us while I gazed toward the concrete steps framed by black wrought-iron railing. My Aunt Leelyn had been a historical researcher. This house had been in my family for generations. It was one of the few historic homes left in Savannah that hadn’t been turned into a business.
Aunt Leelyn was a firm believer in preserving the past. She always said, “Our historical threads are what intertwine and become the base of what we are.” She took our history seriously, and we had a massive family tree dating back over a couple hundred years to prove it.
I knew the stories of my ancestors from over the last hundred years. There were some missing gaps that we couldn’t find information on, but that never stopped Aunt Leelyn’s search. When I was a child, the tales of my past were my bedtime stories.
Aunt Leelyn had found something she couldn’t wait to show me. She wouldn’t tell me until I came back home. Now I wished I had hopped on the first available flight to come here. I loved listening to her tell me about what she had found.
Should have.
Would have.
Could have.
Harris spoke as he put away his phone, breaking me from my internal thoughts. “We have good memories here. I remember Aunt Leelyn could make a mean cup of coffee and tell stories like no other.”
I looked back and sadly said, “Yes, she could. I miss her.”
“I know you do, Ashlin. I hate this for you.” Harris’ gray suit-clad arm came up as his hand stroked my face.
My cheek instantly warmed. “Thanks for being here for me, Harris. I know you had to cancel your meetings. But it means the world that you pushed everything asi
de for me. I’ve missed this part of us.”
Harris withdrew his hand and tucked his phone away in his suit jacket pocket. “It’s okay. I’ll be back on schedule in two days. I have my first meeting this evening at dinner. Of course, I don’t expect you to come. Our bags are being packed and the plane will be ready to take off in an hour. I figured we could stop by here, make a plan of action to sort through all this stuff. I’ll make the phone calls and have it dealt with however you’d like. It’ll be good for us to have another home. It’ll be expected of me to have multiple places.”
For a second—a mere moment—I thought Harris was kidding. By his serious demeanor and no-nonsense look, I realized he was dead serious. I sat back in the seat, trying to process what he tried to do. Through our tender moments over the last few days, I had hoped being back down here would help Harris remember what we had. In the end, it hadn’t.
Deep down somewhere in his mind, he had to remember the old us, but he chose this new life. What Harris had said to me a few nights ago when he carried me to bed came to mind. He had no intentions of letting go of his newly acquired life. He craved the power. And if I let him, Harris was going to take me down into this wretched life and never let me escape. It would be a slow decay of my soul and I couldn’t take it anymore. I needed to escape.