“I can’t, Damien. I’m just not feeling it. ”
He opened his mouth to speak, and for once nothing came out. She felt a pang of guilt. Damien was a good guy—she cared for him. She really did. And she hated hurting him. Because, she was surprised to discover, he looked genuinely hurt.
“What about me?” he asked, his tone subdued for once. “What if I’m feeling it?”
“No,” she said, and the word brought with it a stab of sadness. It was more than the discomfort of delivering bad news—this breaking up thing was hard. She genuinely cared for him, would genuinely miss him. “This is it, Damien. You’re great—so great. You’ve done so much for us. But…”
“Let me guess,” he interrupted. “The old ‘it’s not you it’s me’ line?”
Her shoulders fell, and he laughed, a rueful, regretful sound. “It’s okay, Bail. I’ve given that talk a time or two myself. ” He chucked her chin. “It’s not done yet, you know. It ain’t over till the fat lady sings. ”
As breakups went, it felt oddly incomplete. He’d see, though. In time, he’d come to understand that she’d meant every word.
She moped around the house after that, and Laura found her later, sitting on their brother’s bed. It was a good place to think. Representing hope and melancholy both, there was no better spot for wallowing than BJ’s room.
He’d gone to Quantico for Officer Candidate School right after college, and though he’d been away for years, everything was just as he’d left it. A Metallica poster. San Francisco Giants baseball memorabilia. A snapshot of him with his high school girlfriend.
She peered at that photo for a while. Strange that he’d kept it, they’d been broken up for so long.
“Hey,” Laura said, and Sorrow startled.
She put the picture frame back on BJ’s bedside table. “Hi. ”
“What are you doing in here?” Laura wandered in, glancing idly at the books on his desk. But then she froze, paled. “There wasn’t any news, was there?”
“No,” Sorrow said quickly, having instantly understood the question. A loved one fighting a war on the other side of the planet tended to make normal things like doorbells, ringing phones, and somber visits to the bedroom cause for alarm. “No word from BJ. ”
“Jeez. You scared me. ” Laura plopped next to her on the brown corduroy bedspread. “So then what’s got you so droopy? You look like you just lost your puppy. ”
“Damien and I broke up. ”
Laura smirked. “You mean, you broke up with Damien. ”
Sorrow cast her eyes down and picked at the comforter. “How’d you guess?”
“Who hasn’t guessed? You and that sheriff are practically joined at the hip. ”
She snapped her head up at that. “We are not. ”
“What’s up with that, anyway? Some sort of older man complex?”
“He’s, like, ten or eleven years older than me,” Sorrow said. “That’s hardly old. ”
“Whatever. ” Laura flopped onto her side, leaning on her elbow. “So, you and Damien. Spill it. How’d it all go down?”
“He didn’t believe me. ”
Her sister laughed. “Of course he didn’t. I think the last person to break up with Damien was Paula Richardson in the third grade. ”
Sorrow gave her a rueful smile. “Yeah, I think you’re probably right. ”
“So, what’d he say?”
“He said he wanted to take me away somewhere. ”
“Like on a vacation?”
Sorrow nodded. How she’d dreamed of a vacation. But she’d never take advantage of his money that way. “Yeah. ”