Cleaning was usually such a good, mindless activity, and yet she couldn’t stop fretting about what the heck she was supposed to do with her love life. The timing kept being off, and there hadn’t been a good moment to have her talk with Damien. He’d probably be fine with a breakup—he was the sort of guy who had two dozen women waiting in the wings. Maybe he was even thinking of breaking up with her.
She had to admit, though, he’d looked ready to throttle Billy this morning. She was sure his jealousy had nothing to do with her—Damien just didn’t like to lose. However she looked at it, there was no question—she needed to end their fling the next time she saw him, no matter what.
Because she couldn’t get Billy out of her mind. She was surrounded by people she loved, people she knew who loved her, and yet it was only when she was with Billy that she felt like she wasn’t in it alone.
She’d thought she was into Damien, until Billy had come into her life. The two men posed such a stark contrast. Damien seemed like such a…guy sometimes, a dude who told jokes over the pool table, made public moves on his girl, and drove his car too fast. But the sheriff was all man—thoughtful, kind, strong, experienced—and all man was exactly what Sorrow needed. What she wanted.
Laura had ribbed her about Damien putting a ring on it, but as she got to know Billy, Sorrow realized how Damien wasn’t the sort of man she’d want for a husband at all. She was young even to be thinking the word marriage—some might say too young—but she’d borne such responsibility for so long, sometimes she felt far more ancient than her twenty-three years.
It was old enough to know Damien wasn’t the one. The man she’d spend her life with would be someone who stood tall, stood for what was right. Stood up for her. A man like Billy Preston.
Her fling with Damien had been fun, but now she saw how that was all it’d been—good, physical fun. Granted, Damien was a great person—he’d done so much for her and her family, and she didn’t doubt he cared for her. But her stolen conversations in the kitchen with Billy, the quiet way she felt him ready to catch her if she fell, how he always wanted to know about her day before anything else…she saw how love could grow there. And love was what she wanted.
The problem was him. He’d said he wasn’t competing with Damien. “Good thing I’m not competing with him” to be exact. If Billy wasn’t even trying, that meant he wasn’t interested, right?
It’s not that she expected Billy to make a move. He was a gentleman after all. A good guy. And a good guy never moved in on another man’s woman.
Which meant it was up to her to make a move. Only she didn’t have any inkling what his feelings toward her might be. She knew he liked her, and she definitely knew she was feeling something. But was she in it alon
e?
Maybe he still felt too much grief over the loss of his wife. A part of him would surely grieve her for the rest of his life. Would he ever see his way through it? And, if he did, would there be a place left in his heart with room enough for someone to find a home there? Could that someone be her?
Billy was older, though. Might he want someone more experienced?
Dealing with her dad’s stroke at such a young age had certainly made her feel older than her years. She’d had plenty of emotional experience. And she had the real-life experience of running the lodge almost single-handedly. Yet she didn’t feel worldly. While Billy, with his life in the city, and his fancy restaurants, and his lawyer wife…he’d lived a lifetime before he’d even arrived in Sierra Falls. And it’d been a lifetime that seemed pretty worldly to her.
Either way, it was definitely past time to break it off with Damien, and only then could she figure out this thing with Billy. If he wasn’t interested, that was something she needed to find out pretty quick, because she was spending way too much time daydreaming about the man.
She managed to get Damien alone when he swung by for lunch. By the look in his eyes, she could see he knew what was coming. It made her nervous. Damien was smooth, he was quick on his feet. He’d try to trip her up. She needed to focus. End it quickly, kindly, with no debate. Like pulling off a Band-Aid.
“It’s that sheriff,” Damien told her. “You’re breaking up with me because you’ve got a thing for Billy Preston. ”
“No, that’s not—”
“Sorrow Bailey, I’ve known you my whole life. You can’t bullshit a bullshitter. I see what’s going on. I get it. ”
“I…you do?” Relief plumed through her. Damien understood. Maybe he’d make it easy on her.
“Of course. And I don’t buy it. ”
Her relief was short-lived. He wasn’t going to make this easy at all. She’d just have to toughen up. “Well, you have to buy it. ”
Surprise flashed in his eyes. Good. He was hearing her. Only he decided to take a different tack. He stepped closer, tugged at the front of her shirt. “Look, babe. You’ve been so swamped around here. And I’ve been swamped at work. What we need is to get out of town, reconnect. We’ll take a mini-vacation. Drive someplace warm, like Sonoma or Napa. We could go wine tasting. French Laundry is out that way, too—I could get us a reservation. It’s one of the best restaurants in the world. ”
She knew an instant of temptation, but then pictured Billy in her mind’s eye. She might not know how the sheriff felt, but she had to be free to find out. She took a step back. “I can’t. I’m sorry. ”
“Why can’t you? I’ll whisk you away. ” He stepped forward, leaning down to whisper in her ear. “There’s a spa in Sonoma. You can get a facial. Maybe a hot stone massage. ”
Wow, he was good. It’d be so easy to say yes. Hot stone massages and floating in hot mineral pools. She could go. He’d love to take her.
But she knew she couldn’t. She shook her head. “It wouldn’t be right. ”
“What do you mean, not right?” He shook his head, baffled, like she was speaking gibberish.
That nonchalant attitude of his girded her. Damien had always gotten what he wanted. But not this time. She stood tall. “I’d feel like I was taking advantage of you. ”
“It’s not taking advantage when it’s something I want to do. For you. For us. ”