It was one of the joys of being a doctor. That instant adrenaline buzz in the middle of the night that kept you awake, even when your body was telling you it wanted to be tucked up in bed. It happened frequently as an intern, and constantly as you progressed up the scale.
His eyes focused on the wall. Was there anything else he could do? How else could he ensure the safety of his staff? Nothing else seemed to be jumping out at him. It was the best he could do for now. What he really wanted to do was ship Violet out on the nearest plane, sending her back to Atlanta, out of harm’s way.
But there was no way she would let him do that.
So he was just going to have to try and make things as safe as he could.
Because losing Violet just wasn’t an option.
CHAPTER NINE
VIOLET THUDDED DOWN at the table. “What are you eating?” Her eyes were sparkling and her face flushed. Just the way she looked when was happy, or excited, or when they...
No. He had to stop thinking like that every time he was around Violet. It was becoming addictive.
He concentrated on the matter at hand. “Stew.” He held up a forkful. It looked a little unconventional but the smell was great. “Where have you been?”
“On the phone.” She grabbed a fork and scooped up a bit of his stew. “Yum.”
“On the phone with who?”
The smile stayed fixed on her face. “Sawyer.”
He winced. Sawyer again. The man was haunting his every move. For someone who had barely made contact with his sister—only the occasional call or text—for the past six years, he seemed to have renewed their connection with vigor. “What did he want this time?” He couldn’t hide the tone of his voice. He would prefer never to hear Sawyer’s name again.
Violet put the fork back on the table. He’d seen the flash in her eyes at his wince. She seemed to be taking her time before replying. Her cool green eyes met his. “Things are going well. The director has asked Matt to come back. He hasn’t decided yet, but he’ll need to make his mind up soon because Callie’s handed in her notice.”
Evan was shocked. Callie Turner was one of the most dependable doctors he’d worked with at the DPA. He couldn’t believe she would want to leave. What had Sawyer done to upset her? It was instant—the thought that Sawyer must have something to do with this. Callie had always seemed happy at the DPA.
His stomach churned at the thought of having to work with Sawyer again every day. The thought of having a constant reminder of something he was doing his best to forget.
“What position has the director offered him?”
He was irritated. The director had shipped him off to the middle of nowhere and it sounded as if he was offering Matt Sawyer a tailor-made position.
Why couldn’t Violet be someone else’s sister?
Her voice remained steady but he could see something else going on behind her eyes. She shrugged her shoulders, “Consultancy. Lecturing. Whatever he’ll agree to. Sounds like the director just wants to get him back on board.”
She glared at him. “Why do you always automatically go against my brother? Callie and Sawyer are together. I didn’t know this before, but Callie never wanted to work at the DPA. She had a sister who died in a car accident. They were going to work at the DPA together. I worked with Callie for three years and never knew that.” She glared at Evan again. “Sawyer connected with Callie. He’s given her the confidence to go after what she really wants—family practice.”
“Callie Turner? Family practice?” He couldn’t believe his ears.
“Yes, that’s what she wants.” Violet’s voice had a determined edge to it. She was getting annoyed with him, but he couldn’t help his responses.
Or maybe he didn’t want to. This Sawyer thing was always going to hang over their heads. It was always going to be the monkey on his back.
The thought repeated itself in his head again. Why couldn’t Violet be someone else’s sister?
It was beginning to eat away at him. It was beginning to find its way into all the good times he was having with Violet. Hanging over his head, waiting to crash down on top of them.
“And what does Sawyer get out of this?” It was still there. The hostility in his voice. Undisguised.
The expression on Violet’s face changed. She looked off to the side. “A chance to be happy. A chance to have a life again.” She sighed. “Everyone deserves a happy-ever-after, Evan. Even my brother.”
She was mad. The words were gentle, but he could see the glint in her eye. Why did he do it? Why couldn’t he just smile and nod glibly when she mentioned her brother?
Why couldn’t he just forget about Sawyer and the fact he got all uptight every time he heard the name? Every time he remembered the circumstances they’d been in.
Every time he felt the guilt wash over him again.
But Violet had obviously reached the point of no return. “Enough is enough, Evan. I asked Sawyer about you, you know.”
Evan felt his heart jump in his chest. “What? Why did you do that?”
“Because I want to bang your heads together. Neither of you will tell me what the issue is between you. Neither of you will really tell me what happened out there.” She steadied her gaze and lowered her voice. “This can’t go on, Evan. How can we have anything together when you seem to hate someone I love so much?”
She was right. He knew she was right. His animosity toward her brother was killing this relationship stone dead.
But what if he told her the truth? Surely that would just give them the same fate? “What did he say?” he mumbled.
“He said Helen died and he was angry. He said you both have some—” she held her fingers up “—unresolved issues.”
Unresolved issues. Well, that was one way to put it.
This was conversation he couldn’t have. This was a conversation he wasn’t ready for. He stood up, pushing his chair away, and walked from the dining room, out into the early evening sun.
Violet’s footsteps hurried out behind him. “What? What just happened? I don’t get this. Will you tell me what went on?”
“Just leave it, Violet.”
“No!” She was shouting now. “I won’t leave it! Why won’t anyone talk about this? What happened out there? You know what? Helen was my sister-in-law and I loved her. She was perfect for Sawyer and made him very happy. I thought he was set for life. I thought they would grow old together. And then this...” She flung her arms wide.
“This happens and everyone comes back close-lipped. My brother barely functioning. Well, you know what, Mr. Team Leader? I’ve had enough. Helen was my family and I have a right to know what happened out there.” She poked a finger into his chest. “And I mean besides the fact that she had an ectopic pregnancy and died. I want to know the other stuff—the stuff that you and my brother won’t talk about.”
Evan couldn’t listen anymore. Everything was building up inside him like a tidal wave. Every pent-up emotion, feeling and load of guilt that he’d ever experienced.
It was too late. He couldn’t hold on to this any longer.
“He must have known! Sawyer must have known Helen was pregnant! He let her go out there and put herself at risk!” He was shou
ting now but he couldn’t help it.
Violet’s face paled. She looked shocked. “What? Why on earth would you think that? That’s ridiculous.”
“Really? This is Sawyer and Helen we’re talking about here. I’ve never seen a couple so connected. So in tune with each other. How could he possibly not have known?”
Violet shook her head fiercely. “Are you crazy? Helen didn’t even know—and if she didn’t know, how could Sawyer?”
Evan crossed his arms across his chest. “I don’t believe that. I’ve never believed that.”
Violet started to get angry. “What do you mean, you never believed that? You think my brother and his wife deliberately put the mission in jeopardy? Helen knew she was pregnant but didn’t tell anyone because she didn’t want to be taken off the duty rota?”
When Violet put it into words it sounded ridiculous. But, then, he’d never been able to think rationally about any of this.
“Well, she and Sawyer never wanted to be apart. Would that really be such a leap of faith?”
Violet was furious. “Of course it would.” She nearly spat the words at him. “This is Helen you’re talking about, Evan. Did you really know her at all? How can you even think that?”
His mind started to spin. Why had he said anything at all? He should have kept his mouth shut. This couldn’t end well.
Violet folded her arms across her chest. “Evan, do you keep a note of when I have my period?”
“What? Don’t be ridiculous.” The question caught him sideways. He knew exactly what she was implying.
“Why is that ridiculous? We’ve been sleeping together for a few weeks now. You mean you aren’t marking it on the calendar? Why not? You obviously expected my brother to.”
“Of course I didn’t!” he snapped.
“But, in essence, that’s what you’re saying. That my brother should have noticed that his wife had missed her period. They were both busy professional people. But you expected them to be counting up the days?” She shook her head. “I don’t know anything about my sister-in-law’s cycle. It wasn’t the kind of conversation we used to have. But what if Helen had irregular periods? How could either of them have known she was pregnant? She would only have been two or three weeks late. Maybe she didn’t even think she was late at all. Or maybe, with all the planning for the mission, it just hadn’t crossed their minds.”