Now, was that time.
She pushed open the door to the high school and stepped inside. It only took a second to introduce herself to the secretary and be buzzed in. “You’ll find Mr. Holden out at the back. He should be at the bleachers next to the football field.”
She gave a grateful nod and walked down the long corridor. The school was quiet, classes were in progress and she only passed one kid with a pink slip in his hand.
She followed the directions to the entrance to the football field, but something caught her eye at the side. The door to the changing rooms was open. Judging from the smell – it had to be the guys’ changing room. There was hardly any part of the floor that wasn’t wet and towels and spare clothes were all over the place.
But it was the tones of a familiar voice that stopped her dead. Marlie.
“Hey, Mitch. I’ve been looking for you.”
It was over familiar and way too friendly for a student to a teacher. It made her cringe.
Her footsteps stopped at the door. She didn’t mean to spy. But she also didn’t feel right intruding.
“It’s Mr. Holden. What do you want, Marlie?”
Mitch’s voice wasn’t friendly. It was straight and to the point.
The cheerleader uniform seemed at least two sizes too small. Were you meant to see their knickers clearly on display and nothing but pure cleavage?
Oh no. This teenage crush was out of control.
Marlie sidled over to Mitch. She reached out to touch his arm with her finger. “I was wondering if you and I have might have a little chat about my options for next year.”
It was the body language, the teasing in her voice. Raging hormones all over the place. Her finger was still resting on Mitch’s arm.
He reached over grabbed her hand and lifted it away.
“You’re right, Marlie. We need to talk.” He folded his arms across his chest and turned to face her. “I don’t ever, ever want to see you act like this again. You’re a smart girl. Far too smart to behave like this. First thing, I’m a teacher, you’re a student. I will never, ever, be interested in anyone who has been a student in this school. Secondly, I’m going to have a chat with your counselor about you today. The way you’re dressed and the way you’re acting. It’s not appropriate.” He sighed and his tone softened. “Don’t ever do this, Marlie. Impress a guy with your mind, your wit. If you feel like this is how you should act – then it’s time to go home. You’re better than this, Marlie. I believe in you. You just need to believe in yourself.”
It was harsh. But he probably needed to be. And Emma’s stomach was flipping over and over. Partway in sympathy for Marlie and partway for the position Mitch had just found himself in, and the way he’d handled himself.
There was a little whimper and then Marlie rushed past in a flurry of far-too-short cheerleader skirt.
Mitch waited a few seconds then slumped back against one of the lockers. He looked relieved.
It made her love him all the more.
She took a few steps inside. “Mitch?”
His head shot up. “Emma? What are you doing here?”
She gave a little smile. “Watching you teach a student how to respect herself.”
He shook his head. “I can’t believe she just did that. I really need to talk to her counselor. I wonder if something else is going on.”
Emma stepped into the changing room and put her hand on his arm. “You did good, Mitch. I heard you. Firm, but kind. You made it really clear for her.”
He still looked worried. “But what if that’s how she acts around guys all the time? What if she thinks that’s what she should be doing?”
Emma squeezed his hand. “And that’s why I like you so much. You’re worried. Do exactly what you said you would. Talk to her counselor and let her deal with it. I’m guessing she knows as much about teenage girls and you do about teenage boys.”
He nodded and blew out a long, slow breath. “You’re right. Of course, you’re right. I’ll speak to her today. She’s more than capable of setting Marlie on the right track.” His gaze met hers. “You never told me. What are you doing here?”
She took a deep breath and licked her lips. “I came to see you.”
He must have heard the tone of her voice, the slight hesitance, the slight concern.
He stepped forward. “And you couldn’t wait until tonight?”
This time she was sure. She locked her gaze on his. “No. I couldn’t. We need to talk. There’s something I need to tell you.”
*
It wasn’t an ideal situation. His office was cramped and not exactly tidy. But it was the only place they were guaranteed a little privacy.
He gestured to the seat at the desk and then picked up the other chair and moved it around next to her. This wasn’t a teacher/student scenario. This was Emma. And if something was wrong, he wanted to be as close as possible.
She looked nervous, antsy. What on earth could she be worried about?
His stomach fell. Was she going back? Back to the groom she was supposed to marry?
She seemed to have dressed carefully. She was wearing a navy, velvet coat he’d never seen before, which enhanced all the curves of her body, and her new, black shiny, knee-length boots. Leather gloves sat on her lap.
He reached over and took her hand. He’d do anything to persuade her to stay. Anything at all.
She sucked in a deep breath and straightened her shoulders. Only thing was, she didn’t open her eyes. It was as if it was easier to say the words with her eyes closed.
“I need to tell you something. And I’m going to do it really quickly, because that’s the only way I can.” Her eyes fluttered open for a second. “And once I tell you, Mitch, please, please don’t say anything. Let me go and take a little time to think about what I’ve told you. I don’t want you to just blurt something out without thinking it through. Promise me. This is really, really important to me.”
He blinked. She looked so sincere. So worried.
“I promise,” he said quickly. What on earth could be this serious?
She closed her eyes again. “The reason I ended up here. The reason I didn’t get married. Six weeks before my wedding I had an ectopic pregnancy. I had surgery and there were complications.” Her shoulders slumped a little and her voice slowed. “I can’t have kids. I can never have kids. I heard Bryce talking in the church vestry. He wanted kids. He really wanted kids – kids of his own – but just didn’t want to let me down. He thought it would be easier to get married, then find a reason to split-up later. I wasn’t enough for him. He wanted the full deal. The family package guarantee.”
The words made his blood run cold.
He couldn’t believe he was hearing this. She’d been pregnant. She’d had an ectopic surgery with complications. Her chance for children was gone. And her groom decided the best thing to do was marry then divorce her?
What a dipstick.
He released his grasp on her hands, his own clenching into fists. He wanted to punch the guy clean out. Who did that? Who decided that Emma wouldn’t be enough?
His stomach was in knots. Because he knew exactly how she felt.
Then it hit him like a slap on the back of the head.
In fact, he didn’t.
He had to remember that. Emma had lost a baby. She’d seen her chance of parenthood slip through her fingers like grains of sand on a beach.
Then, six weeks later, her fiancé had pulled that on her.
He had to tell her. He had to tell her that it was true for him, too. Kids – naturally – would never be on the cards.
He should have told her first. His insides were curling up and cringing.
She’d stopped talking. Her eyes were fixed on the wall at the other side of his room. A wall filled with relics of the past, trophies and pictures of his long gone professional career.
It was odd. He didn’t want to stare at them every day at home. He didn’t want to think about the cost.
But here – in high school – the kids loved them. Often, they were the starting point of a conversation that the kid really needed to have. A conversation about something entirely different. So here, he could tolerate them.
Emma stood up quickly. She walked to the door and turned around. He was on his feet. Ready to speak. Ready to tell her the truth. But she put up her hand straight away, tears glistening in her eyes.
“Emma-”
“Don’t Mitch. You promised. You promised me. I need to walk away right now and get some space. Think about what I’ve told you and when you know what you want to do, let me know.”
She didn’t meet his gaze. Didn’t look at him again. She just held her head high and walked down the corridor.
*
Every muscle in his body was tense and rigid. He couldn’t believe what she’d just told him. What he could understand was how heartbroken she looked as she said the words.
He got that. He did. He understood the way no one else could.
In a way, it made them the perfect match.
And in a way, it was a disaster.
He sagged down into the chair and put his head in his hands.
He didn’t want Emma to think that he loved her because she was like him – she couldn’t have a family.
She had to know that he loved her already. He loved her before that and that hadn’t changed.
In a way, he’d found his perfect person. She would understand completely. Natural kids just couldn’t happen. But, maybe, in time they could talk about other options – other ways to have a family together.
For him, it was so important that Emma knew she was enough. She was enough for him just the way she was. Just like he hoped he would be enough for her. But how could he know that?
He leaned forward and put his head in his hands.
Now, he felt pathetic. He should have told her. He should have told her when they were at the side of Miracle Lake.