They interlocked fingers and walked along the row. “Not that one, the branches are a little squinty,” she said.
“What about this one?”
She stopped to stare. The scent from the tree was fabulous. Fresh and green. She felt a little nudge from behind. It was a guy pulling a little kid behind him on a sled.
Her heart gave a little lurch. Kids again. Marietta was full of them. Her eyes instantly went to Mitch as she desperately tried to read his expression. How would he react when she told him? Was having kids one of his heart’s desires? Would telling him spell the end of their blossoming relationship?
She stopped walking for a second. Truth was, she thought that would break her heart in two. Had she really fallen so far, so fast?
“What’s wrong?” Mitch wrapped his arm around her waist and turned her towards him.
She took a deep breath. “Mitch.” She put her hands on his shoulders. “What are we? What is this?”
The smile left his face for a second and he was serious. He looked her straight in the eye. “I don’t know, Emma. But I’m sure looking forward to finding out.”
Her heart fluttered in her chest. It was almost a perfect answer. It gave a little hope for the future. It made her think there might actually be a future here for her.
It was far too soon to assume anything. She had to be honest with him. She had to tell him the truth and then find out if he was still looking forward to finding out what came next.
She gave him a smile and a nod. “I’d like that, too.” She took a deep breath and tried to push the thoughts away that were making her antsy.
They were here. Right now. Together.
She didn’t want to spoil anything. Right now, she just wanted to be with Mitch.
She locked hands with him again. “Now, let’s find the perfect tree – and some decorations. Who knows how much fun decorating a tree could be?”
She gave him a wink and sashayed a little in front of him.
His reaction was instant. He ran straight up behind her and grabbed her, whispering into her neck. “Let’s take this back home.” He looked up and gave a nod. “There’s Lacey, she’ll get one of the guys to cut the tree down for us.”
“Do you know her?”
He hesitated. “No, not at all. But I saw her in town with her brother, Sawyer, the other day.”
She stopped walking. “Why do you sound odd?”
“Do I?”
A thousand weird thoughts flooded her brain. “Is Lacey one of your exes?”
He stopped dead and turned towards her. “Seriously? That’s what’s in your crazy brain.” He had a daft grin on his face.
She shrugged. “You’re being evasive. It took you a few seconds to say if you knew her or not.”
They watched Lacey take money from some people and send some of her workers to cut down trees. Her hair was tied up in a ponytail, and she was wearing a big, plaid shirt. Whilst it looked too big for her, she also looked as if she were carrying a little extra weight.
Some of the customers seemed a little wary of her, and it was obvious from her tense shoulders and body language that she could sense it. Hostility or frustration seemed to radiate from her.
Mitch bent his head and said quietly. “Lacey just got out of the women’s prison in Billings.”
“She did?”
Emma was stunned. She’d never met a prisoner before. At least – she didn’t think she had. “What did she do?”
Mitch shrugged. “I don’t like to spread rumors.”
“Well, it’s hardly a rumor if she was convicted and served time.”
He sighed. “Drug trafficking. But Sawyer says she was tricked into it and I believe him. He’s a straight down the line kind of guy.”
Emma blinked. She was strangely curious. No wonder Lacey looked as if the weight of the world was pressing on her shoulders.
They reached the front of the line and Mitch held his hand out towards Lacey. “You must be Lacey. I’m Mitch Holden, working at the high school as a varsity coach and guidance counselor. It’s nice to meet you, Lacey.”
The couple leaving stared at him. They hadn’t been quite so friendly. Lacey looked a little stunned.
She gave him a nod. “I take it you know Sawyer?”
“Sure I do.” He gave her a huge grin. “And I can only imagine how crazy he’s going with a broken leg.”
There was a flash of recognition on Lacey’s face – only someone who knew her brother would say something like that – and she let out a wry laugh.
“You have no idea how crazy he is. But it means I get this place to myself and, as you can see, it’s keeping me busy. Now, what tree would you like?” She shouted one of the workers over.
Emma almost shook her head. It was amazing. Mitch could see how a few other people were acting, and he was immediately trying to put Lacey at ease. She wouldn’t have expected any different from him, but it still made her heart swell a little.
That was just Mitch. That was who he was. No wonder he did such a good job with the kids in high school. The hormonal minefield of high school was bad enough for most kids – but a teacher who was on their side and put them at ease was worth their weight in gold.
Mitch walked along the row and pointed out the tree they wanted to Lacey, who signaled her worker.
Emma stuck out her hand towards Lacey, too. “Hi, I’m Emma McGregor, a friend of Mitch’s. You can tell from the accent I just got here, too. I’m doing a few shifts at The Graff right now.”
Lacey sucked in a deep breath. Maybe the people she used to know hadn’t been very welcoming on her return.
She reached over and shook Emma’s hand. “Love your accent, Emma. It’s nice to meet you. I’m sure I’ll see you around town.”
The tree was cut down and packaged in a matter of minutes. “Do you need delivery?” she asked Mitch.
He pointed to his red pickup, “Nope. We’re all set.”
They walked back to the hut and she rang up the sale. “Do you need anything else?”
Emma pointed to some of the decorations in the corner of the hut, sitting in glass jars underneath a sign saying Locally Crafted. “These look gorgeous, why don’t we get some of these?”
She automatically walked over to the glass jars and started picking some of the decorations out. There was a huge variety. Some carved wood, some painted, some just varnished, an array of treated, colorful pine cones, and some tiny ones of colored glass.
Mitch was looking at her. There was a strange expression on his face. A kind of dopey smile.
“What?”
He shook his head as he pulled out his wallet. “Nothing.” He turned back to Lacey. “Add twenty of the decorations to the bill.”
She blinked. “Twenty, are you sure?”
He still had the dopey grin. “What the woman wants, the woman gets.”
Emma’s hand froze halfway to one of
the glass jars. We. Why don’t we get some of these? That was what she’d said.
It made them sound like a couple. It made them sound like a permanent arrangement. It made them sound like…
That was why he was smiling. That was why he looked like that.
Her mouth was instantly dry. Mitch. Mitch was starting to think about the future. He was starting to make plans in his head.
And she hadn’t told him yet.
And it could destroy them. It could destroy this wonderful feeling and sense of belonging she felt around him. It could ruin everything.
She started to automatically lift out random decorations, putting them into the nearby tissue paper and bundling it around them haphazardly. Right now she could do with some of that delicious smelling hot chocolate. Anything to quench the dry feeling in her throat.
Mitch finished the sale and put his wallet away, walking over and slipping his arm around her waist. “Ready?”
She nodded without thinking.
Trouble was – ready was the last thing she felt right now.
Chapter Twelve
‡
She had to speak to him. She just had to. She had to tell him the truth about why she hadn’t gotten married.
She had to tell them that there could be no kids in her future – not naturally anyway – and if he wanted to take a chance on her – take a chance on them, that was how things would be.
The thought of actually saying the words out loud made her feel physically sick. But the ache inside because she hadn’t said them? That was worse.
Loving someone, trusting someone, meant being honest. If this relationship would go anywhere, it would be with all her cards on the table. She didn’t need to find out seconds before a wedding ceremony that Mitch wasn’t prepared to accept her for who she was – and what she could never be.
Last night had been torture. Her stomach had churned constantly and she’d eventually made an excuse to leave late at night. She could tell he’d been disappointed. But she’d needed some time to think. Some time to figure out how to do this and what to say.