‘That’s not what this was!’ Dylan yelled. ‘What we had—’
‘Was a mutual attraction we worked out of our systems last night.’ The lie hurt even to speak it, but what other option was there? Ask for more and watch Dylan flounder when he realised he couldn’t offer it? She might have hurt his manly pride, but that had to be better than letting him destroy any self-respect she had left.
‘It was more than that, and you know it.’ His tone was low now, dangerous, daring Sadie to deny it.
She couldn’t.
‘Even if it was,’ she said softly, ‘it was never going to be anything more than this week, and it’s not fair of you to pretend that it was. I have Finn and the Azure to think about, and you have your business... You’re leaving any minute now, for heaven’s sake.’
‘But I’ll come back. I said I’d come back.’ He made it sound like a huge commitment. Probably because he had no idea what a real one looked or sounded like.
‘And there’ll always be a friendly welcome for you here.’
‘Friends.’ He barked a harsh laugh. ‘You really think we can go back to that?’
‘I think we have to,’ Sadie said pragmatically. ‘Because, Dylan, you can’t offer me anything else.’
‘I offered you a new career. A chance to start over.’
‘What I want most is the chance to have a future with my son.’ The truth, if not quite all of it.
‘And what about me? Are you really going to let your dead husband and this bloody hotel stop you from moving on and being happy?’
She could have laughed at the cruel irony of it. Here he was, the ultimate playboy, asking for more—and she couldn’t give it to him, however much she wanted to. Because he didn’t even know what it meant.
‘Are you honestly telling me you’re ready to become a father—to a little boy you’ve barely met?’ The sudden shock on his face was answer enough. ‘Exactly. Dylan, you’re not Adem, and I never expected you to be. I went into this with my eyes open. But you don’t do commitment and I need that in my life—for Finn, as well as myself. We need stability and certainty more than ever now. And you can’t give us that.’
* * *
You’re not Adem.
Wasn’t that what it always came down to? In the end, it wouldn’t have mattered who’d met her first, who’d loved her most, who could give her what—he wasn’t Adem. So he was always going to lose.
‘I’m not even second choice to you, am I?’ he murmured, watching her eyes widen. Could she sense the fury building inside him? He hoped so. But he also knew he needed to get out of there before it exploded. He’d never hurt her, but if they wanted to remain even business acquaintances there were some things they couldn’t come back from. ‘I’m no choice at all.’
‘Finn is my choice,’ Sadie said, but he knew what she meant. She would always choose Adem—even his memory—over moving on with him. Over giving him a chance to see if maybe, just maybe, this time he could stick at something. ‘Yours is the next big thing. It always has been, and it always will be. You know that, Dylan.’
‘Just like my old man, huh?’ He knew it himself, always had. But it still hurt to hear it from her—the one woman he’d thought, for a moment, that he could be something more for. Someone better.
‘That’s not what—’ Sadie started.
‘Yes,’ he replied. ‘You did.’
So, really, what was there left to say?
‘My assistant will be in touch about the investment proposal in due course,’ he said. ‘I’m sure it will go through without a problem.’
Sadie nodded but didn’t speak. He supposed she’d got the only thing she wanted anyway. At least one of them was ending this week happy.
‘Goodbye, Sadie.’ He turned on his heel and walked out, hoping his car was already waiting downstairs.
He didn’t let himself believe that the sound he heard behind him as he shut the door was a sob.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
SADIE DROPPED HER suitcase onto the spare bed in her parents’ back bedroom and began rummaging through it for a cardigan. England might be colder than she’d remembered, but it was still good to be home, however temporarily.
Anything was better than moping around the Azure Hotel alone.
At least she had Finn back now. Once they headed home to Turkey, it would be the two of them against the world again, and everything would be fine. Just one look at his beaming face as he’d waved his ‘Mummy’ sign, surrounded by pictures of aircraft, when she’d arrived at the airport had told her that she’d done the right thing. When he’d wrapped his little arms around her neck and hugged her tight she’d known there was no other choice she could have made.
Finn was the only thing that mattered now. All she had left.
‘Knock-knock.’ Her sister Rachel appeared in the open doorway, both hands occupied with cups of tea. ‘Mum thought you might need this after your journey.’
‘Definitely.’ Family, a cup of tea, familiar surroundings...this was all exactly what she needed.
A whoop of excitement from outside caught her attention and she moved to the window, cup of tea in hand. In the back garden Finn and his cousins appeared to be playing some sort of game involving a football, three hula-hoops and a garden chair. Whatever the rules, he seemed to be having fun, even wrapped up in his coat and scarf instead of still being in tee shirt and shorts, as he would have been in Turkey.
‘The kids have loved having Finn here to play with,’ Rachel said, following her gaze. ‘It’s been lovely for them to all have some time together.’
‘I know.’ A flicker of guilt at keeping Finn so far away from his family ran through her. ‘And I know Adem’s parents enjoyed having him for a sleepover last weekend.’ More people they didn’t see enough of.
‘I bet. It must be even harder for them.’
‘They came out to visit in the spring,’ Sadie said defensively.
‘Not the same as having him round the corner, though, is it?’
No, it wasn’t. Sadie sank to sit on the edge of the bed and blew across the top of her tea to cool it. ‘Finn asked me if we really had to go back to Turkey,’ she admitted. ‘He’s loved being here so much.’
Rachel winced as she sat beside her. ‘Sorry. Didn’t mean to make things worse.’
‘It’s the truth, though, isn’t it?’
‘But not all of it. If you’re truly happy out in Turkey then Finn will be too. You know kids, they’re always happiest exactly where they are, never ready to move on to the next thing. Especially if it’s bedtime.’
The exact opposite of Dylan. Sadie huffed a tiny laugh into her mug at the thought.
‘How are things at the Azure anyway?’ Rachel asked. ‘Any luck with the investment guy—personal or professional?’ She nudged Sadie gently in the ribs.
‘Dylan’s going to present my proposal to the board, but he thinks they should go for investing.’ There. She’d said his name without crying. A definite improvement. And the proposal was good—she’d worked on it with Neal before Dylan’s arrival for weeks, and had tweaked it to fit everything she and Dylan had talked about on his visit. It was just what he’d wanted, she hoped.
‘And personally?’ Rachel pressed. ‘Come on, Sade. I saw you all dressed up for him, remember? There was definitely something going on there.’
‘Well, if there was, it was for one night only,’ Sadie said.
Rachel frowned. ‘That idiot walked out on you after one night?’
‘Yeah. Well, no. I... I guess I walked out on him.’
‘That doesn’t sound much like you.’
‘It was a pre-emptive strike,’ Sadie explained. ‘He doesn’t do commitment, and it was more important to me that we stay friends and business partners. Apart from anything else, Finn doesn’
t need any more uncertainty in his life.’
‘And how’s that working out for you?’ Rachel asked doubtfully.
‘It’s fine,’ Sadie lied. ‘It’s for the best.’ She just had to keep telling herself that. And not acknowledge the secret fear that kept her awake at night—that she had gone and fallen head first in love with Dylan Jacobs.
Even she couldn’t be that stupid, right?
‘He did offer me a different business proposal, though,’ she said. Better to get the conversation back on professional terms. ‘It would mean working back here in the UK, putting a manager in charge at the Azure.’
‘That would be perfect!’ Rachel bounced a little on the mattress. ‘You and Finn could come home and still keep the Azure! Have you told Mum and Dad yet?’