‘I guess so.’
‘You should have woken me,’ he said, trying to inject lightness into the words, to try and break the strange new tension in the room. ‘Before you put all those pesky clothes back on, for preference.’
‘I suppose you’re usually the one slipping out of a borrowed room the morning after, huh?’ Her smile suggested it was meant to be a joke, but the words fell flat between them as Dylan felt his mood worsening.
‘You were slipping out on me?’
‘No!’ Sadie said, too fast. ‘I mean, it’s not like you wouldn’t know where to find me, right?’
Was that the only reason? God, what had happened in her head between him falling asleep boneless and sated and the moment he’d woken up this morning? Dylan had no idea—and he wasn’t sure he was going to be allowed to find out.
‘So it’s back to the Azure, then,’ he said. Apparently their moratorium on business was over, too. ‘That’s what happens next?’
‘I think it has to be,’ Sadie said. ‘I mean, you have a flight to catch this afternoon, and you still haven’t checked over the Azure proposal. I think I included everything we’ve talked about, but if you have any questions it would be good to deal with them sooner rather than later. I’m leaving for England in a couple of days to fetch Finn home, remember.’
Home. So Turkey was still home to her. Good to know.
Dylan reached for his pants. Talking business naked just felt wrong. ‘Never mind the Azure proposal right now. Have you thought any more about my proposition?’ he asked, wishing the moment the sentence was out that he’d chosen any word other than ‘proposition’.
‘I... I’m not sure it would be the best idea.’
‘Because of last night?’
‘Because of lots of things.’ She bit her lower lip, and Dylan had to sit on his hands to stop himself reaching for her and kissing them back to last night again. ‘Will you still present the Azure proposal to your board for investment? Even if I’m still in charge?’
‘Of course,’ he said, the words almost sticking in his throat. ‘You’ve certainly demonstrated the potential of Kusadasi and even the hotel itself as a viable investment. I’ll talk to them as soon as I get back.’
‘Great. Thanks.’
Awkward silence stretched between them until Dylan thought he might snap. Grabbing his shirt from the floor, he tossed it over his shoulders before striding across the luxurious cabin towards the bathroom. ‘Why don’t you go see if you can go scare us up some breakfast?’ he suggested over his shoulder. ‘I’ll be there in a few minutes.’
If it was back to business as usual, he needed a shower, some food and plenty of coffee. Hopefully one of those would fill the yawning gap that seemed to have opened up in his chest.
* * *
Sadie kept it together until they reached the hotel, a feat she was rather proud of. It would have been so easy, that morning, to turn over and back into Dylan’s arms. To let their one perfect night stretch just a little further. But it would have only prolonged the agony.
Because for all her arguments to herself the night before she had no doubt that letting him go again was going to be excruciatingly painful.
How was she supposed to go back to business, or even to being friends, now that she knew how it felt to have his skin against hers, his body pressing hers down into the bed with glorious pleasure? How was she supposed to even think about anything else?
But she had to. Because no matter how miffed he might have looked at being upstaged in the casual morning-after stakes, Dylan didn’t want anything else. Oh, he might convince himself that they could be something more—but it wouldn’t be a commitment, not from him. He wasn’t Adem, and she had to remember that. Keep it at the front of her mind at all times.
Or else she had a horrible feeling she could slide so easily into love with the man.
And that would be a betrayal. Maybe not of her wedding vows—she knew that if Adem had lived she would never have taken this step, never have had this chance to explore what could be between her and Dylan—and not even of her husband’s memory, not really. Rachel had been right in that at least—Adem would rather see her happy than alone.
But she’d be betraying herself. Betraying what she wanted—no, needed—from her own future. Maybe Dylan had been right when he’d said the Azure wasn’t her dream, but he couldn’t see that it was a part of something bigger. A chance for her to live her life with her son—and she didn’t want that life to be confused and clouded by a man who came, made them love him, but never stayed. She wouldn’t do that to Finn—or to herself.
Maybe Dylan would change one day, find something or someone worth committing to. But she couldn’t take the chance that the thing or person he found might be her. Not when it would affect Finn too.
And it would, she knew. Her own fluctuating emotions after one week, one night told her that. She needed to be solid and steady for her son, and Dylan Jacobs made her the opposite of both.
‘I’d better pack,’ Dylan said, as they stood in the lobby of the Azure, more than a metre of marble floor between them.
Sadie nodded her agreement. ‘Your car will be here at two. I’ll come down and see you off.’
‘You don’t have to.’ He sounded so distant Sadie had to swallow a large lump in her throat before she could answer.
‘Yes, I do.’
‘Fine. I’ll see you then.’ He strode off towards the lifts, without looking back.
Sadie took a deep breath and went to check in with the front desk for any important news or messages, hoping they wouldn’t comment on how overdressed she was for the task.
Then she was going up to her room to take a bath and break down in private.
* * *
The second hand ticked around the clock face seemingly slower than ever, but still inexorably working its way towards two o’clock. Sadie smoothed down her black suit one more time and tucked her still-damp hair behind her ears. At least the make-up seemed to be holding strong—her eyes weren’t nearly as blotchy as they’d been a quarter of an hour ago.
In—she checked the clock again—twelve minutes’ time she’d go down to the lobby. That, assuming Dylan arrived early too, would give her ten whole minutes to say goodbye to him.
It wasn’t enough, but Sadie was starting to worry that no amount of time would be. She’d been so focussed on the fact that he’d be walking away the next day she hadn’t spent enough time considering the fact that she wouldn’t be able to—not from the memories and not from her feelings.
Dylan might not be the committing sort, but she was—and she should have remembered that before she’d fallen into bed with him. She’d never been the one-night stand sort, so why on earth had she thought she could start now?
She sighed, and sat back down on the bed. Because she’d wanted it so badly, that was why. She’d wanted that one night—and now she’d had it she couldn’t give it back. And, truth be told, she wasn’t sure she even wanted to.
A sudden hammering on the door jerked her out of her thoughts. Blinking—and hoping the waterproof mascara was still holding up—she quickly crossed the floor and opened the door.
‘Dylan.’ She was supposed to have another eleven minutes before she had to face him. What unfairness was this?
Without a word he pushed past her into the room. Sadie shut the door behind her;
from the furious expression on his face she had a feeling this conversation wasn’t one she wanted to share with the rest of the hotel.
‘Okay, I’m leaving in, like, fifteen minutes, but I need to know something first.’ He had his hands in his pockets, but from the look of the material they were bunched into fists. ‘What happens next?’
‘Next?’ Sadie gulped. The question she’d been avoiding. ‘Well, like we said, it’s back to business. We can be business partners, hopefully, and friends for definite. I hope Finn and I will be seeing more of you in the future.’ Even if it tore at her heart every time. Dylan was part of Adem’s life too, and Finn deserved the chance to know him. She just needed to make sure she guarded her emotions more carefully—something that would certainly be easier with her son present.
‘So last night was...?’
‘Wonderful,’ she admitted, with a small smile. ‘But I told you, I never expected anything more. I’m not trying to tie you down or make you commit to anything. Well, anything more than saving my hotel.’
‘You make it sound like everything that has happened between us this week was only about you getting my investment.’
‘You know that’s not true,’ Sadie admonished. Whatever he might think of her today, he had to know she wasn’t the money-grabbing woman his words suggested.
‘Do I?’ he asked, one eyebrow raised.
‘I bloody well hope so!’ Her own temper started to heat and rise to match his. Ten more minutes and they could have avoided this completely, parted civilly. But, no, he had to storm in here and demand the last say, didn’t he?
‘In that case, I can only assume that you slept with me as some sort of personal experiment,’ Dylan said, the words sharp. ‘A chance to find out what you could have had. And now you’re burying yourself back in your old life, the tired old plan that wasn’t working.’
‘Sounds to me like you don’t like being treated the way you’ve treated God knows how many women over the years,’ Sadie bit back. ‘What, it’s okay for you to indulge in one night and call it quits, but God forbid a woman tries to do the same to you.’