God, I had fucked up. She was so wary now. It was so clear to me, what an idiot I’d been.
Staring down into her beautiful face as snow slowly fell from the sky, I knew.
I’d tried to run.
I’d tried to hide.
I’d tried to say fuck it all.
But there was no turning back.
Emery Robinson was it for me.
And I would do anything to keep her.
“I’m sorry,” I finally said, pulling her to a stop again. I ran my hands down her arms. “I knew, even while I was doing it, that what I was doing was wrong. I just…fuck, I was just so angry. I felt like I was going through the same shit again. But, this time, I would not just be hurting the woman I love but my brother, too.”
“Love?” she whispered. Her mouth opened slightly in shock. “You love me?”
“Oh, Emery,” I said, threading my fingers through her hair and pushing it behind her ear. I stepped toward her, feeling all my walls crumbling down. “Of course I love you.”
Chapter 28
Emery
Having Jensen Wright love me was like walking in the sun.
But, while I played in the sunlight, I feared the darkness.
I wouldn’t forget the week Jensen and I’d spent apart. The shadow that he cast when the sun disappeared. I wasn’t crazy enough to believe that love would conquer everything, and I wasn’t naive enough to think that running was out of the question for him. He had proven that he would do it, and now, he had to prove to me that he wouldn’t.
Things hadn’t been perfect since I agreed to give him a chance. I was guarding my time and my heart, wary of what was to come. I’d seen him on Christmas after his time with his family and had been mostly welcomed, Miranda aside. Landon had been uncomfortable around the two of us, but there were no more outbursts from him. It would take everyone a while to adjust. Our time post-Christmas had almost been too perfect. Maybe I was gun shy, but I worried that everything wasn’t what it seemed.
Still I’d agreed to go with him to a New Year’s Eve party at the Overton Hotel downtown. I wanted things to be right. I wanted to bask in his love and affection. But I also didn’t want to get hurt. And my heart was warring with my head.
“Why do you look so nervous?” Heidi asked. She was fussing with my hair, having already done my makeup for the event.
“I’m not nervous,” I lied.
“Yes, you are,” Julia said, leaning back against the chair.
We had all convened at my house to get ready. Julia already looked stunning with her recently dyed burgundy hair piled on the top of her head and dressed in a rocking black dress.
“Things are rocky, and you have turtle head now,” Heidi insisted.
“Turtle head?” I asked with a laugh.
“Yeah, you’re crawling back into your shell because you’re worried he’ll fuck up again,” Heidi said.
“I’m not worried. I’m cautious.”
Heidi nodded her head. “Yep. Turtle head.”
“Wouldn’t you be cautious?” I demanded.
“I don’t know,” Heidi said with a shrug.
“He abandoned me for a week. I’m trying to take it easy.”
“Just try to have fun, okay?” Heidi asked.
I nodded. That was the plan. I was just going to have fun tonight. We were going to be back in a good place again. I wanted us to be back in a good place.
“Good,” Julia said. “Now we need to find someone for me to kiss at midnight.”
“Oh, me too!” Heidi said.
“Landon?” I coughed under my breath.
Heidi’s eyes were round as saucers. “What? No! He’s married!”
“What if he wasn’t?”
“Then he’d be your ex-boyfriend.”
“I’m dating his brother, Heidi.”
“Nuh-uh. No way. This is girl code we’re talking about! Sacred shit here, Em.”
I laughed at her vehemence. I knew something was up even if she wouldn’t admit to it, but I decided to let it slide. “Well, you know I’m good for that kiss at midnight for the both you.”
Heidi snort-laughed. “Oh my God, yes, my love. Take me away!”
“Lesbian threesome. I’m in,” Julia said with a laugh.
Heidi threw herself into my arms and made ridiculous kissy noises. We laughed like we were back in school together, when the world was a lot easier to deal with.
Julia stared at us and shook her head. “You two are so hot for each other.”
Heidi laughed again and kissed my cheek. “Always.”
The doorbell rang, and I had déjà vu, back to the first time Jensen and I had gone on a date. I dashed downstairs with my friends following behind me. Lilyanne rushed to the door, and there was Jensen holding out flowers for her. She beamed up at him.
“Mom! My boyfriend is here!” Lilyanne called to Kimber.
Kimber groaned. “We are going to need to break that habit.”
Jensen ruffled Lily’s hair. “How are you doing, munchkin?”