“But it doesn’t change what I saw or how you feel about Landon or how Landon feels about you.”
“Oh my God, give it a rest! I do not love Landon, and Landon does not love me,” she hissed.
“I know what I saw.”
“No, you don’t. You really don’t. You have never given me a chance to explain what you think you saw. I can’t sit around and let you walk all over my heart, Jensen. I put myself out there after I’d been hurt. And then, at the first sign of trouble, you ditched me. And all of it could have been fixed with one little conversation that you refused to have with me.”
“If you think that one conversation will magically change everything, then tell me what I saw. Tell me what really happened.”
“Look, the night you saw me with Landon was in no way romantic. He came to apologize to me for being a dick when he found us together. Then, Heidi and I got drunk, and he offered both of us a ride home. I was too drunk to walk to the front door, so he helped me. I got inside and immediately called you. The end. That’s the whole story.”
“And you were all over him because…”
“One, I was not all over him. Two, I was drunk, and I’m not a good drunk. I’m a face-plant-into-the-concrete-and-bust-my-nose-and-get-two-black-eyes kind of drunk. Trust me, I’ve been there.”
I snorted, just imagining her falling over like that.
“That’s really all that happened?” I asked.
I suddenly felt panicked, like maybe Landon hadn’t been the one who overreacted…that I had been the one to overreact. If what she was saying was true, then I had hurt her this week for no good reason.
“Yes!” she cried, exasperated. “And you would know that if you had bothered to pick up the phone. Go ask Landon. Go ask Heidi! She was in the car that night. If anything, I think that Heidi might be into Landon. Not me! I don’t understand what I did to make you not trust me, but I hate this.”
“Emery,” I said slowly. I was an idiot.
“Save it,” she said in frustration, throwing my words back at me.
“You’re right,” I said automatically.
She gave me a wary look. “I am?”
“Yes. I am an idiot.”
“Well, that’s very obvious at this point.”
“What I’m trying to say is, I was so afraid of losing you that I pushed you away. I made assumptions. It didn’t help that Landon had said that, if I didn’t know what had really happened in your breakup, then I didn’t know you at all.”
Her eyes ignited in fury. “He said what?” she cried. “Oh, I’m going to kill him, I swear.”
“What I’m saying is that I want a second chance,” I said, reaching for her hand. “I don’t want to argue with you, and I don’t want to run. I was an idiot. A complete idiot.”
“I don’t know,” she whispered, turning her face away from mine. “How do I know that this won’t happen again?”
“You don’t. But I don’t know how else to make this right. We both have pasts. We both have issues. Trust is mine. After what happened in my past, I have a hard time taking anyone at face value. But I’d really like to try to handle everything together. To start over.”
She sighed. “Jensen…”
“Give me a chance, Emery. Please.”
Snow slowly started to fall around us. She looked up at me through snowy lashes with fluffy flakes tumbling into her dark hair and blanketing her jacket. I knew she was hurting, and I had done almost irreparable damage. But I wanted to make this right…if she would just let me.
“Okay,” she said finally. “One chance, Jensen. That’s it.”
Then, I tilted my face down toward hers, and our lips met, gently and nurturing. It was a kiss I’d missed all week. A kiss I’d remember forever.
“You won’t regret it,” I whispered against her lips.
She sighed into me and wrapped her arms around my waist. “I hated the last week.”
“Me, too. I hated being away from you.”
“Why are you such an ass?”
I laughed. “Can’t seem to help it.”
“God, we’re so fucked up.”
“Emery?”
“Hmm?”
“What really happened with your breakup with Landon?”
She sighed again, heavier, and took a step back from me. “You really want to know?”
I nodded. “Yes. I would like to be on equal footing. Figure things out together. That way, maybe neither of us will be blindsided again.”
“All right.” She dropped her head forward, swallowed, and then nodded. “Landon and I had dated nearly two years when he got into Stanford on a golf scholarship, and I got into Oklahoma as a National Merit Scholar, but both of us wanted to stay home and go to Texas Tech, so we could be together. We had this whole plan. Then…as far as I know, your father told him to go to Stanford.”