The sunny winter’s day had brought everyone out to San Remo to stroll along the wharves and look at the fishing boats tied up. The restaurants and bars were humming as the locals made the most of fewer tourists.
‘What’s your preference for lunch?’ Flynn asked Ally, after they’d walked the length of the township’s main street and had bumped into almost the entire register of his patients at the clinic.
‘Fish and chips on the beach.’ Then she smiled at him.
Her smiles had been slow in coming since he’d returned home, making him wonder if she felt he’d been using her. Which, he supposed, he had, but not as a planned thing. She’d been there when he’d got both calls and he hadn’t hesitated to ask her. She could’ve said no. ‘Good answer. There’s a rug in the boot of my car we can spread on the sand.’
Had he used Ally by putting his work before what she might’ve wanted? Just like old times. But asking Ally to stay was putting Adam first, just not her. Turning, he touched a finger to her lips. ‘Thank you.’
‘What for?’
‘Being you. I’m going to get lunch.’
‘Adam and I will be over on that monster slide.’
‘He’s conned you into going down that?’ Flynn grinned. ‘Don’t get stuck in the tube section.’
Yep, this felt like a regular family outing. Dad ordering the food, Adam wanting to play with Mum. Except Ally wasn’t Mum, and never would be.
Which part of having a short affair had he forgotten? As much as Ally turned him on with the briefest of looks or lightest of touches, no matter how often they fell into bed together, this was only an affair with a limited number of days to run. When was that going to sink in?
While he waited for his order he watched the woman causing him sleepless nights. She smiled sweetly at his son bouncing alongside her, said something that made him giggle. Then she rubbed her hand over his head, as she often did. How come Adam didn’t duck out the way as he did with other people who went to touch him?
Flynn sighed. Should he be getting worried here? How would his boy react when Ally left them? Yes, he’d asked himself this already, and would probably keep doing so until he knew what to do about it. He’d have the answer on the day Ally left.
The real problem was that he didn’t want to stop what he and Ally had going on. It was for such a short time, couldn’t he make the most of it? Wasn’t he entitled to some fun? If only that’s all it was, and the fun didn’t come with these conflicting emotions.
The fish and chips were the best he’d ever had, the batter crisp, the fish so fresh it could’ve still been flapping. The company was perfect.
Ally rolled her eyes as her teeth bit into a piece of fish. ‘This is awesome. I’m going to have to starve all week to make up for it.’
As if she needed to watch her perfect figure. ‘We’ll eat salads every day till next Sunday.’
Surprise widened those beautiful eyes. ‘Something you haven’t talked to me about yet?’
It had only occurred to him at that moment. ‘You might as well join us for dinner every night. I like cooking while you obviously have an aversion to it. Next Saturday we can visit the wildlife centre.’ Once he got started, his plan just grew and grew. ‘Fancy a return visit to Giuseppe’s on Saturday night? It’s band night.’
‘Don’t tell me. The old two-step brigade.’ She grinned to take the sting out of her words.
‘Way better than that. The college has a rock band that’s soon going to compete in a talent show. Giuseppe’s way of supporting them is to hire them on Saturday nights. He says the music is crazy.’
‘We can crazy dance, then. Yes to all those invitations. Thank you. You’ve saved me having to stock up on instant meals.’ She wrapped up the paper their meal had come in and stood to take it across to a rubbish bin.
‘Can we go to the wildlife park now, Dad?’
‘Not today, Adam. You’ve already had a busy weekend, going places that you don’t usually visit.’
‘But, Dad, why can’t I go? Now?’
‘Don’t push it, son. We’re going home. I’ve got things to do around the house.’ Flynn could feel that tiredness settling over him again, stronger this time. He yawned just as Ally sat down on the sand again.
‘Can’t hack the pace, eh, old boy?’
‘I don’t know anyone who can run a marathon first up after no practice for years.’ Not that making out with Ally felt as difficult as running a marathon. It all came too naturally.
‘So that’s why we do sprints.’ Her grin turned wicked and the glint in her eyes arrowed him right in his solar plexus.
It also tightened his groin and reminded him of the intensity of her attraction. They’d be waiting hours before they could act on the heat firing up between them. Adam did put a dampener on the desire running amok in his veins.
‘Dad, we’re going to the school tomorrow.’
‘What school? What are you talking about?’ First he’d heard of it.
‘Where the big kids go. Marie’s taking me with the play group to see what it’s like.’
He’d phone Marie when they got home. ‘Are you sure?’ This sounded like something he should be doing. ‘That’s my job, taking you there. I’m your parent, not Marie.’
Ally put a hand on his forearm. ‘Wait till you’ve talked to her. Adam might’ve got it wrong.’ The voice of reason was irritating.
‘I doubt it. Marie should’ve mentioned it. She knows that when it comes to the major parenting roles I’ll do them. Not her or anyone else.’ Now he sounded peevish, but he was peeved. ‘I’m doing what Anna would’ve wanted. What I want. I’m not a surface parent, supplying warmth and shelter and avoiding everything else going on in Adam’s life. No, thank you.’
She pulled her hand away, shoved it under her thigh. ‘Has anyone suggested otherwise?’ An edge had crept into her tone.
Had he come across too sharply? Probably. ‘Sorry, but you don’t understand.’ Had she just ground her teeth? ‘When Anna was alive she did most things with Adam. We agreed she’d be a stay-at-home mother, and when she died I wanted nothing more than to stay at home with him, but of course that’s impossible.’
‘How can you say I don’t understand? What do you know about me? I might have ten kids back in Melbourne.’
‘Perhaps you should try telling me something.’ He drew a calming breath. This was crazy, arguing because Adam might be going to school with Marie tomorrow. It wasn’t Ally’s fault he hadn’t known or that he felt left out. ‘Have you had a child?’ he asked softly after a few minutes. Had she been a teenage mother who’d had her baby adopted?
‘No,’ she muttered, then again, a lot louder. ‘No. Never.’
‘Got younger brothers and sisters, then?’
Now her hands fisted on her thighs. ‘No.’
He backed off a bit, changed direction with his quest for knowledge about her. ‘Why did you choose midwifery as your specialty?’ Was that neutral enough? Or was her reason for becoming a midwife something to do with her past? A baby she wasn’t admitting to?
‘I wanted to be a midwife after helping deliver my foster-mother’s baby at home when I was fifteen. The whole birthing process touched something in me. I’d never seen a newborn before and I knew immediately I wanted to be a part of the process.’
Flynn wanted to know how Ally had found herself in that situation, but he didn’t dare ask. Instead, he said, ‘Birth is pretty awe-inspiring.’
‘You’re saying that from a parent’s perspective.’ She stared out beyond the beach at who knew what. ‘My foster-mother let me hold the baby and when she asked for him back I struggled to let him go. He was beautiful and perfect and tiny. And vulnerable.’
Flynn sat quietly, afraid to say anything in case she closed down.
‘For the first time in my life I’d experienced something so amazing that I wanted to do it again and again.’ Her fingers trailed through the sand. ‘I felt a connection—something I’d never known in my life.’
The eyes that finally locked onto his knocked the air out of his lungs. The pain and loneliness had him reaching for her, but she put a hand on his chest to stay him, saying, ‘Until that moment I’d supposed birth and babies were things to be avoided at all cost. My own mother abandoned me when I was only days old.’
He swore. Short and sharp but full of anger for an unknown woman. How could anyone do that? How could Ally’s mother not have wanted her? But, then again, as a doctor he’d seen plenty of people who just couldn’t cope. Drug problems, mental illness, abusive partners—sometimes bringing up a baby was beyond people when they couldn’t even take care of themselves.
She continued as though she hadn’t uttered such a horrific thing. ‘There was something so special about witnessing a new life. New beginnings and hope, that instant love from the mother to her baby.’ Ally blinked but didn’t cry. No doubt she’d used up more than her share of tears over the years. ‘It doesn’t matter how many births I’ve attended, each one rips me up while also giving me hope for the future.’
‘Yet you don’t stay around long enough to get involved with your mums and their babies.’