“He was gettin’ ready to leave the studio. Could tell he couldn’t wait to get back to you. Ash was giving him shit about it, and he didn’t even try to deny it. I followed him upstairs, asked him his intentions.”
Sorrow lapped.
Why?
Why would he just leave me, then?
Lyrik wet his lips in agitation.
Misery moaned within me when he continued, “He told me straight up that he was in love with you, Mia. That the two of you were goin’ to figure out how to make this thing work. Admitted it was going to be hard, but acknowledged you were worth it.”
In his own helpless confusion, he hiked his shoulders while I choked over the sob that his words wrung out of me.
“Have to say, after talking to him, he didn’t strike me as the guy who was just gonna bail.” It felt like maybe his words were issued with some kind of warning.
I licked my dried, cracked lips. “He said it was time for him to go. That it didn’t matter how much he loved me, he could never keep me.”
Each word was lined with despair.
Lyrik scoffed a rough sound. “Yeah, well I’d buy the idea that he doesn’t believe he’s worthy of you. But the fact he took off because Penny was talkin’ to Nix? Pretty sure the guy didn’t figure out just last night that you have a baby daddy.”
I fumbled over a shaky nod.
My stomach sick.
Nausea fierce.
Agony prowled my throat, so thick it choked me, and I was sure I was going to vomit.
No longer able to contain it.
To keep it inside.
I swallowed over the thick knot. “Something happened. Something bigger than I understand.”
I knew it.
I felt it deep.
Throbbing wild and desperately.
“Maybe give him some time,” Lyrik broached, a slow suggestion that threatened to wrap me in chains I could never be released from.
Sadness pilfered out on a surrendered sigh. “I can’t have a man coming in and out of our lives when he pleases, Lyrik.”
My brother’s smile was grim. “Doubt he’s very pleased right now, Mia.”
I was pierced with an arrow of sorrow.
One in the perfect shape of Leif.
There was no question he was out there suffering even more than he had been before.
Tamar rubbed my arm, forcing her voice into some brightness that there was no chance I could feel. “Why don’t you get in the shower and come and get something to eat?”
I started to nod, only to go still when I heard Penny’s voice echoing down the hall. “Mom! Dad’s here! Dad’s here!”
Her voice was excited while my spirit stumbled through the dread.
Through the anger I felt that he seemed to be the catalyst that had sent Leif running.
It wasn’t his fault.
Logically, I knew that. But I couldn’t help the blame.
Gloom covering me like a dark, black shroud.
A shiver of disgust rolled.
Tamar edged off the bed and spun in the direction of the door. “What is he doing here?”
I shook my head. “Probably jealous I had a man here.”
“God. I can’t stand him.” She let it hiss from below her breath. I wasn’t even sure if she was directing it at me.
I guessed it was the first time I realized that neither could I.
Wholly.
Truly.
The man a mistake who had given me my greatest joy.
Because my pulse spiked, shivered, and slowed.
A wary thud pulsing in my chest.
Lyrik pushed from the wall with a heavy exhale from his nose. A bull getting ready to charge. He’d never exactly been a Nixon fan.
But none of it changed the fact that he was my children’s father.
I scrubbed my palms over my face in an attempt to break up the disorder. To paste on something that bore a semblance of normal.
“Mom! Mom!”
The door banged open to the main room.
“Dad’s here!”
Lyrik looked at me, jaw hard. “Your call, Mia.”
His hands clenched into fists. No doubt, he would gladly toss Nixon’s ass to the curb.
I shook my head. “It’s fine.”
It wasn’t though.
Because I grimaced when my bedroom door flung open and Penny raced in.
Nixon followed her in, carrying Greyson.
Greyson who squirmed and whined in confusion, stretching his whole body for me when he saw me. “Mommy! I get you!”
I forced myself out of the bed and to standing, hating that I was wearing a tank and short sleep shorts.
I met Nixon’s glare, his want, his questions. Drudging through the force of them, I edged by Tamar who stood rigid so I could take Greyson from him. The second I had him in my arms, Greyson clung to my neck, staring out, like he’d forgotten who Nixon was.
And maybe that was my fault.
Taking them away.
But it felt right.
Affirmed by the cruel stare that pinned me to the spot.
Tension filled the air.
Tight and dense and suffocating.
Something ugly and wrong that made me want to crawl out of my skin.
“Nixon,” I said, dipping my chin. I couldn’t even begin to hide my annoyance that he’d just shown up here.