Even though that should have been my cue to start a conversation about the state of our relationship, I chickened out.
“Everything is fine, Nic. Everything is great.”
Like I said…hell in a handbasket.The ride to Damien’s was uneventful. The tension in the air between Nicole and me had lessened. We stopped for beer and picked up stuff to make frozen margaritas since Chelsea had mentioned we were having Mexican for dinner when I called to ask her what we could bring.
It was a breezy evening in San Francisco, and I felt unusually relaxed. I should have known that it was all too good to be true.
Chelsea opened the door, and before I could get the words out to greet her, it was like the wind got knocked out of me.
Behind her shoulders, I could see the beautiful, statuesque blonde standing in the corner of the room. It was déjà vu all over again. My heart started to beat out of my chest, not only because I’d nearly forgotten how stunning she was in person, but because there was a random guy also standing next to her.
Jade and I hadn’t told anyone that we were connecting online; we’d agreed to that. So, I knew I was going to have to put on my acting hat real fast.
Damien must have sensed something about my reaction because he smirked at me.
“You remember my sister, Jade,” Chelsea said.
I approached her and held out my hand, sounding unnaturally formal. “Yes, of course. How have you been?”
She swallowed as I squeezed her fingers. “Good.”
I couldn’t help the bitter undertone as I looked to her left and asked, “Who’s this?”
“This is Craig.”
He held out his hand. “Hey. Nice to meet you.”
I offered a single nod. “Hey.”
Nicole was the first to speak next. “It’s nice to see you again, Jade.”
Jade looked uncomfortable. “Same here.”
“Are you staying long?” I asked.
“Our mother’s condition took a turn for the worse. I couldn’t stay in New York any longer. I asked for a leave of absence.”
How come she didn’t tell me?
I wanted to ask her that so badly but couldn’t. Our eyes locked, and I knew she could sense my question, even though I hadn’t verbalized it.
“I’m sorry to hear that,” Nicole said.
“I really wasn’t expecting to come home so soon, but I needed to be with her.”
Nicole leaned against me. “I totally understand that. You won’t regret that decision.”
Jade looked like she was about to tear up, and it was fucking breaking my heart. I wish I could have gotten her alone for just five minutes. More than that, I wish I knew who the fuck this ginger-haired guy was.
The mood was very somber during dinner. I knew Chelsea and Jade’s mother wasn’t doing well, but I guess I didn’t realize just how bad it was.
Jesus Christ, I had no appetite but forced the food down just to distract myself from looking at her. Her eyes were filled with sadness. Her flowery scent from across the table was driving me mad.
My chair skidded against the floor as I got up to head to the bathroom. I couldn’t help myself. I opened up Messenger and typed.Tyler: Why didn’t you tell me you were coming?I knew she might not have been able to answer me, but the question had been killing me. There was so much I needed to know, namely, whether she was dating Craig. I knew I had no right to be jealous, but damn it, I was. And that was really fucking eye opening.
When I returned to the table, she was staring straight into my eyes, and I knew that she’d read the message when she mouthed, “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be,” I mouthed back. I’d sincerely meant that. Making her feel guilty for not telling me she was coming was not my intention. She had way more important things going on and shouldn’t have had to feel like she owed me an explanation.
After she got up to go to the bathroom, I could feel my phone vibrate. I knew she’d sent me a message. My heart was once again palpitating. Beads of sweat were forming on my forehead because being unable to read it was killing me. This was not a normal reaction to have to a message from your “friend.”
Even though my feelings had been developing over the past several weeks, it was only at this moment that I came to a realization. Emotional cheating felt even more destructive in some ways. The lack of physical contact meant there was no way to let everything out. It was all pent-up. It was like a constant, looming rainstorm that would never develop. Without the downpour, it was never able to pass. It was just always there, like an ever-present hint of thunder in the distance.
And I was waiting for lightning to strike.JADEI leaned against the bathroom sink and typed.