I decide to intervene. "I think my friend Jess here is trying to say that, uh, while Israel is the Jewish homeland, not everyone feels the same way. No need to go into the specific differences, though. Its all cool. Discussion over. "
Liron walks down the aisle and stands in front of my chair. "Its against regulation for a soldier to talk about the political situation in Israel while in an IDF uniform. But I guarantee that you can get into a long political discussion with any Israeli out of uniform. And I also guarantee that youll get a hundred and fifty different opinions if you talk to a hundred Israelis. "
Whoa, thats a lot of opinions.
"Girls, my job in the IDF is to protect Israel. As a private, or new trainee, your job is to take orders. You will be treated like a real Israeli soldier, and you will act like a real Israeli soldier. When we say get in formation, you get in formation or youll be doing twenty pushups. When we say run, you run. When we wake you at the crack of dawn, youll be ready and in formation within seven minutes. "Were going to test your will and your spirit. Were going to test you physically and mentally. Youre going to hate and curse your instructors while youre going through it, and love us and feel like a stronger person in the end. Any questions?"
I raise my hand. When Liron points to me, I say, "Do we get free time?"
"Maybe," she answers curdy. "Why are you here, Amy?"
To spend time with my boyfriend, so Israeli girls like you dont steal him away from me, I want to say. But instead I say, "To feel what its like to be an Israeli soldier. "
An instructor named Gili comes in and talks to us about the state of Israel. "Israel has a population of about six million Jews," she explains. "We are a minority in the Middle East. Its no secret we cannot afford to lose even one war. To do so might mean the end of the state of Israel. Thats why every single Jewish Israeli citizen must serve in the military. Israeli Druze and Bedouins serve in our military as well. "
For the next two hours, Liron and other instructors take turns teaching us. I havent paid much attention to the other girls in my unit, but being in a small classroom gives me the opportunity to check them out.
During the bus ride to the base, I learned that five of the girls are friends from New York. They all have straight brown hair and the same basic "look. " Theyre taking this whole boot camp thing seriously and are determined to be obedient soldiers. I swear these New York girls cant wait to get down and dirty in the Israeli dirt. I think theyre under the impression that at the end of our military basic training program theyll be ready for the front lines of battle. I dont have the heart to tell them theyve got a demented view of reality.
We have four girls from California. Theyre all really pretty and two of them are fakey-blond.
Then theres Tori, our resident bitch. Shes a total loner, by choice. She rolls her eyes at everything, and makes snide comments to just about everyone on the trip. I think her goal in life is to insult every person she comes in contact with. Her hair is long and blond, but when she turns around and her hair parts you can see that underneath she has a sheath of black hair. Its totally two-tone, but I have no clue if she wants it that way or if its a bad dye job. Either way, its definitely unique.
The rest of the seven girls in our barracks are from different states scattered around the country, although two are actually from Canada and I want to laugh every time they say the word "about" because it comes out as "ah-boot. "
Right now were being dismissed from the classroom. How can I break it to Ronit that Im "ah-boot" to go search for my boyfriend?
Chapter 8
Breaking the rules feels great while youre breaking them, but horrible while youre paying for them.
Getting free time here is proving to be nearly impossible. After our classroom discussion, were led back to our bit-tan and are instructed to pick a bunk and unpack. This is also a bathroom break time, but Im not going in that place again until I absolutely have to. There really isnt unpacking to do because each of us only has a little cubby to put our stuff in--just big enough to fit my shampoo, conditioner, and makeup bag. Ill just have to live out of my suitcases while Im here.
Because Jess, Miranda, and I got to the bittan late, Jess and I cant share a bunk. I sit on an unoccupied one.
"Thats mine," Tori says, standing over me. "I called it first. You can have the top bunk. "
I look around for an empty bottom bunk, but there arent any left.
"Thats fine," I say to Tori, who seems pretty pleased to boss me around. I would argue that I didnt hear her "call it first" or that Im afraid of heights and Ill probably fall off the top bunk while I sleep, but all I want to do is find Avi. I couldnt care less about Tori and her bottom bunk.
Just when I think free time has begun, its time for the next activity. Ronit hands out pillows, sheets, and a very thin wool blanket. For the next hour, she teaches us how to make our beds. We have to keep unsheeting and re-sheeting until we get the A-okay from Ronit that weve finally done it to IDF standards (picture tight hospital corners). I can tell you right now that making tight hospital corners on a top bunk is tons harder than on a bottom bunk.
My bunk is two away from Mirandas and across from Jessicas. I can tell itll be close to impossible to have private late-night chats.
"Everyone line up outside!" Ronit yells. "Yala, zooz!"
I dont exactly know what "Yala, zooz means, but from her tone I guess it means "Come on, hurry up. " I have a feeling Ill be hearing those words a lot while Im here.
Jess pulls me aside before we go. "Switch bunks with me," she says. "You want a bottom bunk, right?"
"Yeah, but--"
"Well, its right by the door so you can get fresh air. " Jess is already bringing her stuff over to my cubby and switching my stuff out. "Just do it. Weve got to hurry and get out outside before they make us do pushups. I hate pushups. "
Liron and Ronit time how long it takes until were all in formation outside. Ronit walks in front of us like a lion pacing in her cage. "It took you fourteen minutes. I think thats the worst Ive ever seen! Next time," she says, "youll do it in half the time--seven minutes. And then well cut it to three. March in formation to the cheder ocheliot dinner! Ready?" she barks out.
She must not expect us to respond, because immediately she starts chanting the small-yamean-smalls. Were all out of line and out of sequence, bumping into each other. Ronit stops us. She makes us go back to the barracks each time we screw up until we get it right. The guys, who have obviously mastered marching in formation, have been gawking at us the entire time from the entrance to the cheder ochel.
Weve attempted to get there six times. Were all getting crabby and tired. The seventh time, were almost there when I spot Avi. Hes standing by the American guys, watching me. I get so excited and nervous to see him that I totally screw up and step right on the back of Toris foot, so hard that her shoe comes off.
"Stop!" Ronit says, then sighs in frustration. "Okay, girls. Back to the bittan for another try!"
Tori grabs her shoe. "What a spaz" she mutters.
Is she kidding me? "Oh, like youre so perfect with your marching?"
Tori flips her fake blond hair over her shoulder. "Ive been dancing since I was five. I know how to count off. "
I dont tell her that Ive been dancing since I was four. I want to talk to Avi before hes whisked off so I ignore her. We line up again, and this time I look at the back of Toris head so I dont mess up. In the end, it takes us thirty-five minutes to walk the three minutes to the cheder ochel.
On our way into the building, I look for Avi again. I spot him talking to other soldiers. While everyone rushes to stuff their faces with mediocre food, I walk up to my boyfriend. "Can we go somewhere private?"
"Amy, I cant. "
"What? You cant talk to your girlfriend alone? You cant kiss your girlfriend you havent seen for five months?"
"If someone catches us--"
"Lets go somewhere alone. For just a minute, A
vi. Please. "
Before I even finish the word "please," Avi takes my hand and quickly whisks me away to a private alcove on the side of another building without windows. My mom says rules are made to be broken. . . or at least stretched.
My stomach is in knots, and I tell myself not to be emotional. Im also very aware that we could be in big trouble if were caught.
But looking at Avis face brings me back to the first day I met him. He was working at the sheep pens on the moshav, lugging bales of hay. I was afraid of the huge herding dogs running toward me so I leaped into the pens for safety. Instead of landing on the soft hay, I landed on Avi. He broke my fall. When I opened my eyes, I was staring into the most mesmerizing eyes Id ever seen.
Being here with him, alone, makes me forget about rules and regulations. Its times like these Im happy that I live in the gray areas of life. Being with Avi makes everything thats crappy in my life bearable.
I wrap my arms around his neck. This time he doesnt pull away. "I missed you so much," I say.
He raises his hand to my cheek and brushes his fingers softly down my face. For such a tough guy, Avis touch has always been super gentle. "I cant resist you," he says softly.
Im relieved and excited when his lips touch mine. I wrap my arms around his waist and try to ignore the feel of his rifle against my fingers. "When I urge him closer, our kiss gets more heated. As soon as his tongue touches mine, my insides feel like hot, molten lava.
My emotions are running high and I know a tear has escaped from the corner of my eye.
He pulls away a little. "Dont cry. "
With the back of my hand, I quickly wipe whatever tears have escaped. "Im not," I tell him.
He hesitates. "We need to talk. Seriously. "
"About what?"
"About you being here. You said youd be staying at the moshav. "
Im not going to lie to him. What would be the point?
"Im here to be with you. To see you. To spend time with you. "
"This is the military, Amy. I cant spend time with you here like we did last summer. Im a soldier now. "
"Well, now Im a soldier too. At least for a little while. And were spending time together right now, arent we?"
"Zeheruit Gefen," Nimrod calls out, starding me. "Ata holech al chevel dok. n
"Sababa," Avi answers back, then says to me, "I cant do this. "
"What did Nimrod just say?" I ask.
"He said I should watch out because Im walking a thin line. "
Nimrod frowns at us. Avi and I both stay silent, ignoring the warning, until Nimrod shrugs and walks away.
"What cant you do?" I finally answer. "Be specific. "
Avi rakes his hand through his hair, even though in actuality hes just raking his hand over his growing-out buzz cut. He looks me straight in the eye and says, "I dont want you here. "
I think my heart just dropped into the pit of my stomach. "Why not?"
A sound to our right makes Avi tense as he surveys the source of the noise. Its only an American guy from my unit on his way to the bathroom.