The island no longer had the power to distract me with its sublime sea and comforting heat. After running from the guests on the beach, I’d curled in front of my door, and fallen asleep. Emotionally exhausted, I was determined never to leave that spot again.
However, when I woke up, a dinner tray with a carved-out pineapple holding delicious fried rice and tempeh had been delivered on the table outside. The knowledge that the door to my villa wasn’t the only way in reminded me all over again how vulnerable I was.
How anyone could swim to the small beach in front of me or slither through the jungle and enter easily through the open driftwood sliders.
There was no point camping out in front of my door.
None whatsoever.
The only thing I still had control over was eating, so my body didn’t crash again, and then I studied my hand-drawn map well into the night, racking my brains for scenarios on how to get free.
By the time the clock said three a.m. and I’d exhausted all concepts—both sane and insane—on how to escape, I made a promise to myself.
Whatever happened, I wouldn’t let it affect me, just as I didn’t let Sully affect me.
I sneered at myself.
He doesn’t affect you?
I hung my head in my hands.
Sully was the secret I tried to keep even from myself. I hated him—there was no debate about that. But…I also couldn’t deny that hate dipped into lust every now and again. His despised handsomeness somehow did affect me, and that was something I could never tolerate.
My promise evolved.
Whatever happens, do NOT let it affect you. You might have to sleep with someone, but remember what you said: it’s just an activity…like skiing. And whenever Sully decides to torment you again, don’t retaliate. Just be silent. Be remote. Be untouchable.
As dawn cracked the inky black of night, curling more and more fingers of light and ripping back the curtain of stars, I fell asleep.
I had nightmares of men surrounding me. Men touching me. Men lining up for their turn.
I woke with scratchy eyes and a chaotic heartbeat, knowing that today…was the day.
My fainting spell had bought me three days. Perhaps I should injure myself again and buy another week or so. Or maybe I should just swim out to sea and sink where no one could find me.
Sighing heavily, I looked out to the deck where yet another silently delivered tray waited on the table. I no longer had to ring for food to be brought, and I hauled myself from the bed, wrapped myself in a white sheet, then dragged it like drooping wings over the sandy floor to devour the island-grown vegetarian fare.
The scenery tried to cheer me up with a flock of seagulls landing on the azure flat ocean, a school of fish darting silver and fast through the surface, and a trio of parrots who landed in the palm tree beside me.
Heaven hiding hell.
Angels cloistering Satan himself.
A mythical story I couldn’t escape from.
* * * * *
A knock sounded.
Polite and requesting…gentle even.
I sat lotus style in the middle of the woven grass mat in the living room. I wore the sack of a jumper, even though my skin grew clammy with heat. A staff member must’ve found it floating in the sea from where I’d stripped it that first day. It’d been freshly laundered, hung in the wardrobe, loud with its reminder of what I was.
If I was honest, my ears had been ringing with anticipation since noon. Waiting for that knock. Hearing an echo of it in the future. Trying to prepare myself for the inevitability.
It was a relief to finally face the real thing. To no longer tremble with apprehension, wondering when the summons would come.
It’d come.
I would be forced to swallow elixir.
I would be delivered to a man who’d paid to fuck me.
I tried to unfold my legs, to go and open the door, but all the power in my bones had bled out my pores, leaving me useless.
The knock came again, followed by a feminine, “Hello…Jinx?”
I gulped a breath, slouching.
It’s not him.
Not Sully here to drug and deliver me, desperately gasping and horribly horny to that guest on the beach.
Another knock, but this time the handle turned, and the door cracked open. I’d left it unlocked after I came to terms with the falsity of my safety. Walls and doors couldn’t protect me.
Not in this place.
It was better to just surrender to the knowledge that my body wasn’t my own, my thoughts not considered, and my own desires totally disregarded.
“Ah…you poor thing.” She came toward me, dressed in a lemony gown that hugged her petite chest and flared out to dance around her knees. Matched with her blonde curls, she looked like a lemon meringue cake—sweet and tart, satisfying and toe-curling.