“I mean, not…exactly.”
“I’m the last person who needs your pity.”
“I wasn’t trying—”
John turned and grabbed her hand. “Come with me. I want to show you something.”
Lexi was so surprised by the abrupt change in the conversation that she just followed him down the hall. She hadn’t meant to come across as pitying him. She certainly didn’t look down on him for not having a girlfriend or for not settling down. To each his own for whatever lifestyle he wanted. Of all people, she definitely wasn’t the model for how to go about relationships. It wasn’t her place to judge, and she hoped he didn’t think that.
“Where are we going?” Lexi finally asked after they had taken the elevator to another floor and had rounded a corner to another hallway.
“I’ll show you.”
Lexi bit her lip, a sinking feeling settling into her stomach. She didn’t know where it had come from or what had made her apprehensive, but it just stuck in her gut. She tucked a lock of hair behind her ear reflexively and continued to follow him down the hallway.
They stopped at a closed door. John knocked twice, and when no one answered, he opened the door and ushered her inside.
“What—” she began but then stopped when she saw where they were.
They were in a relatively small room with two bunk beds and a small computer desk.
“Where are we?”
“This is the on-call room,” he said, sliding his hands down her arms.
Lexi jumped when he touched her, and she pulled away from him.
“It’s for doctors to sleep or relax when they’re on-call in the hospital.”
“Oh,” she peeped. Her heart was accelerating as she stared at the small room. She didn’t know how true hospital shows really were, but this was frequently shown as the room where all the doctors had sex. She wanted to laugh it off, but she didn’t feel like laughing in that moment. She felt anxious.
“You know that night when you told me that I didn’t compare to your ex…to Jack. You said that you gave it up easy, but you didn’t do commitment,” John said, walking toward her.
Lexi took a step away from him. “I didn’t say that…exactly,” she whispered, wondering where he was going with this.
“I think you did. And I’m a bit confused by a couple of things,” he said. “Would you care to explain a few things to me?”
“Um…sure,” she said, taking another hesitant step backward. She didn’t know what he was going to ask her, but her unease was peaking.
“You dated Jack a long time, right?”
“Um…no. We’ve never dated actually.”
“But you were together.”
“Well, not exactly.”
“Sleeping together,” John offered.
“Um…yeah.”
“And you’ve been dating Ramsey now for over two years?”
“Yeah. Two and a half.”
“That seems pretty committed to me.” John arched an eyebrow.
“I just said that getting me to commit is the hard part…not impossible.”
“Committed to Ramsey and still seeing Jack though, right?” John asked, stepping into her again.
Lexi took a few more steps to put distance between them again. Brushing her hair behind her ear, she glanced away and tried to wrap her mind around where John was going with this. What did any of it matter to him? And why did he look so angry? His hazel eyes were dark under his thick black lashes, and his body was stiff where he was normally relaxed.
“Jack and I are just friends. We’re not seeing each other. I don’t know what you’re trying to prove in this conversation, but I think we should leave,” Lexi said, trying for her best courtroom voice.
“You’re friends with someone you slept with since college?” he asked incredulously.
“Yes, some people do learn to grow up,” she spat back. Then, it hit her. “How do you know about me and Jack? I haven’t told you about our relationship. Who did you talk to? How do you keep finding all of this out?”
John just shrugged.
“Why do you want to know all of this anyway?” she asked. “What do you gain from it?”
John strode forward quickly, and Lexi took another unsteady step backward. Her back hit the wall, and he hovered close over her. She held her breath as he stood there. A million scenarios went through her mind at once.
She didn’t want whatever he was offering. She liked him, and they got along, but he also put her on edge. Most of the time, it was because of the physical attraction that was still there between them but not at this moment. This felt different. She could feel the physical need simmering underneath it all, but there was something else there that she couldn’t quite put her finger on.
“I told you once that I wasn’t going to play fair. You don’t play fair, so I wasn’t going to. The more that I found out about you, Lexi, just proves that you’ve never played fair—leading Jack on for years and forcing Ramsey to be around Jack. All the while berating Ramsey for being around Parker when you’re around Jack.”
“What is the point of all this?” she snapped. “Don’t judge me for the life I live! You don’t know what I’ve gone through to get here, and I’m perfectly capable of making my own decisions.”
“Walk away from it all.”
Lexi’s eyes bulged at the comment. Where the hell had that come from? Walk away from her life? From the life she had fought tooth and nail for?
Was he mentally insane?
There was no way that she was going to walk away from Ramsey. They had their ups and downs, but he was the real deal, the sure thing. As long as Elisa was behind them and she could trust him around Parker, then they would be fine.
And Jack…
Well, Jack, she had finally made peace with. They were friends. Just friends. Nothing else. Not ever again.
She wasn’t going to give that up now that it was finally working. She never thought that she would be able to call Jack her friend in any real sense. The sexual tension between them had always been too palpable, but they had made it work. And she needed him.
“Walk away from what? My life?”
“Just leave it all behind,” he said softly. He looked like he wanted to reach out and touch her, but he didn’t.