And I’m learning more about him every day. He hides from everybody, but I see him. He’s hurting. I’m not saying his anger and hatred aren’t real, but I just know it’s more than that.
I swallow, realizing just how much of the real me she knew, and turn the page.
He lied too. To everyone. He took the fall for something he didn’t do. And I don’t understand. He covered for Eli, but the question is why?
I thought he was the devil, but he’s so much more than that. And that terrifies me more. I can fight demons, but Cole? Well, he’s a whole new game that I’m not sure if I want to win or lose.
“What are you doing?”
I look up to see Becky standing in the bedroom. With her right hip pushed out, she’s holding a box of trash bags. Her eyes drop to the open journal in my hand, and then they meet mine again. She drops the box and crosses her arms over her chest. “You really have no boundaries, do you?”
“No,” I answer honestly.
She sighs. “I was on your side, Cole. I was rooting for you to finally change. To love her. I thought if anyone could change you, it would be her.”
“I do love her.” She’s the second person I’ve admitted that to. And neither one has been Austin.
Becky tilts her head to the side. “I’m not sure you know how to love, Cole. Not anymore.”
“What the fuck does that mean?” I demand.
“You don’t hurt the people you love.”
My teeth clench. “I thought I was protecting her by walking away. How was I supposed to know Kellan would step in?” You did know it. You just don’t want to admit that.
She shakes her head as if that’s not what she was referring to. “You walking away was probably the best thing to ever happen to her, Cole.”
I slam the notebook shut.
“Deke told me what you had him do. How you had him post the two videos of her online.”
“That’s none of your business,” I growl.
“What will you do to her next?” she demands. “Huh, Cole? How much longer are you gonna make her suffer?”
“I made a mistake!” I shout. “You can’t stand there and tell me you’ve never made one.”
She looks me up and down with disgust. “I’m nothing like you.”
I arch a brow. “Really? Wanna compare secrets? ’Cause we both have plenty.”
Her blue eyes narrow. “Fuck you, Cole!” She storms into Austin’s walk-in closet.
I follow her and lean up against the doorframe, blocking her in so she has nowhere to run. “What do you think Deke would say if he knew—”
“Don’t you dare!” She interrupts me, throwing down a pair of Austin’s shoes, not even letting me finish my sentence. “Deke doesn’t need to know anything.”
“Maybe he does.”
She walks over to me and places her hands on her hips. Her blue eyes glare up at me. “What? Suddenly, you have a come to Jesus moment?”
I laugh at that statement. There’s nothing religious about me.
“If I go down, you’ll go with me. And he’ll have nothing to do with you.” She smiles like she won. No one ever does when they go up against me. Hasn’t she learned that?
I return her smile, but mine is much more threatening. Hers disappears, and her breathing picks up. “That’s where you’re wrong, Becky. I’m not the one who fucked his best friend. You are.”
She gives me the sweetest smile, trying to act like I’m not getting to her. It’s the same one I’ve seen men drop to their knees for, including my best friend. Pathetic bastards. “You didn’t stop me.”
“I didn’t,” I admit and take a step toward her, closing the little space between us. “Ever wonder why?” All the color drains from her face. I refrain from smiling. Instead, I lean down, her face inches from mine, and whisper, “Who said I didn’t record you?” Becky should know not to fuck with me!
I straighten my back.
“You didn’t.” Her voice barely over a whisper. Her eyes are wide with fear.
I say nothing.
“We had a deal,” she argues. “You kept your mouth shut, and I’d do the same. I even covered for you to Austin.”
I snort. “I didn’t need you to lie for me.” I had that covered all on my own.
“She’s not like all those whores you’ve been with, Cole,” she snaps.
“Watch it, Becky!”
She sighs and runs a hand through her bleach blond hair. “Austin is my best friend. I should have never helped you. I thought …” She looks up at me. “I was gonna come clean to her so many times, but I thought I saw you falling in love with her.” She looks down at the carpet. “That day in the cafeteria when I told you that I saw a change in you …” She sniffs and shakes her head. “I should have realized she was just another game to you.”