She took my hand over the table and squeezed it.
Getting help with Jacob really would help me.
Chapter Fifteen
Hayley
That night, as Ann drove us over to the restaurant, I thought about how disappointed I was that Liam never followed through with his offer to help Jacob. He seemed so impassioned about helping at the time, but then nothing. But what was I expecting? It wasn’t like he owed me anything. I had assumed too much.
We had to wait until Carl was off work, but it felt like it would be worth it. It was kind of odd going to see someone who was a friend of Liam’s. I didn’t really know Carl, and asking strangers for help was hard. It made me feel very nervous. But he was also Ann’s friend too, and it was through her that I was meeting him, which made a difference. At least to me. I didn’t know if Ann thought about such things.
I just about screamed when I saw the place. We were going to Mama Dee’s. I kept it inside for Jacob’s sake. Even though the place brought up hard feelings about Liam, I needed to be strong from my brother.
Carl was already there, apparently having the same military punctuality as Liam. He looked a bit older than Liam and was solidly built and handsome, wearing a nicely tailored suit that gave him the look of an old-time banker.
“Hey,” Ann said.
“Hey,” Carl said, standing up from out of the booth.
They hugged and somehow kissed on the cheek despite him being a good foot taller than her.
When they were back in the booth, I went over and slid in next to Ann.
“Ah, here she is. Hayley Booth, meet Carl Whitmore.”
“Hello,” Carl said, trying to be friendly.
“Hey,” I said, looking at the tabletop.
“Hayley has something to ask you,” Ann prompted.
My heart was beating a mile a minute. Anxiety threatened to close my throat and keep me from being able to talk, but I pushed through, knowing that this was important.
“My brother, Jacob, he has PTSD and needs a therapist. I don’t have much money, though.”
“I certainly know something about that,” Carl said, “I know a few really good therapists that will give the first session for free. We just need to find the one that can work with your brother and that he likes.”
“I can help others the cost after that,” Ann said.
I sat back, shocked. “Oh no, you couldn’t,” I started, but she shook her head, refusing to hear me.
“Look, I get it. I served too,” she explained. “I know it looks bleak, but with the right help and a lot of work, your brother should get better. You just need to get used to asking for what you need and speaking up. Understand?”
“I nodded.”
This made me feel a lot better. Not a hundred percent, but most of my mood clouds cleared in that moment. There was still the ache in my heart, though. The one put there by Liam.
“So, I hear that you are coming to my wedding,” Carl started as if he was reading my mind. “I can’t believe that Liam kept you a secret all this time. That man is so secretive.”
“Really?” I asked. “I- I mean about other things as then the engagement.”
Carl nodded. “Totally. We work together every day. Served together. Hell, we even eat lunch together, but Liam never talks about his personal life. I didn’t even think that he dated, to be honest.” He winked at me. “I figured that he was just scared of commitment or some deal like that.”
Next to me, Ann shrugged. “Happens to a lot of people who have been through hard things.” She turned to look me right in the face. “Sometimes when someone gets injured badly like your brother or Liam, they can’t accept what their new reality is. That feeling sinks in, and then it’s like they expect that no one can accept them. That feeling ends up causing them to push people away.”
Carl nodded. “So true. My fiancée and I had to go through counseling, even after I got out of therapy for PTSD. I’m just happy that Liam has someone to talk to. I hate thinking of my friend being alone.”
I smiled at him, but inside, my heart was troubled. What Liam did to me hurt. That still had to be addressed, or it might well hurt me forever. The asshole didn’t even return my calls today. It was clear what I had to do. I had to get answers. I took the numbers from Carl for the therapist, thanked him honestly, and asked Ann for a favor.
Using GPS and my memory, Ann drove me to Liam’s house pretty quickly. After she dropped me off and promised to wait, my heart was pounding with both fear and anticipation, much like when Liam and I fucked for the first time. I tried not to think about it. It might bias me. I didn’t want to think that Liam might be using me for sex or to look good at the wedding. I wanted to think that he liked me and was maybe just afraid to admit it. It was optimistic, I knew, but I still held out hope.