I could hear her breathing behind me. Hayley hadn’t said a word since I started cooking. There was tension between us.
I had let things get too complicated. Hayley was confused. Nothing about this engagement was real — except maybe the sex. But now, she seemed to think there was something more. What could I possibly say to her at this point?
Serving up the two big plates of food, I put them, along with two big glasses of orange juice onto the table.
“Breakfast is ready,” I said, still not wanting to look her in the face.
“Okay,” she replied, sitting in the chair before her and slouching to cover her beautiful tits.
That didn’t make me happy at all. She was so free with her body before. We both had been nude for almost all weekend.
In silence, we started eating. Between bites, I would take glances at Hayley from across the table. She really was beautiful and fucked really well for someone who was a virgin not long before. I tried to remember the last time I’d had sex like that and drew a blank. I didn’t want to get too close, the whole thing was supposed to be fake after all, but I couldn’t shake the feeling that I could be happy with Hayley. She really was turning out to be everything I ever wanted. I tried not to think about it. That was dumb.
“How is it?” I asked, the silence getting to be too much.
“Great, I could get used to this,” she said with a smile, caught herself, and then blushed. “I mean, thank you.”
Should I just push on? Should I assume that the plan for her to go with me to the wedding is still on? Hayley hadn’t left yet, so maybe we were okay. Maybe she realized her own slip-up, and we could move past it. I guess I should move on.
I nodded. “Right, I was born in Santa Rosa and raised in Echo Park. One sister, parents dead. My best friend in high school was Jared, and we met at a video-game competition. I went into the army after high school and served for eight years before being discharged due to injury, honorably, of course.”
“Whoa,” Hayley said, dropping her fork and putting her hands to her temples, “what’s with the info dump?”
“You need to know this, at least for the wedding. We are supposed to be engaged, so it is important that we know everything about each other, or at least as near as possible. You’re still down for it, right? I mean, I’m not forcing you or anything.”
She sat back a bit, obviously shocked. “Um, yeah, of course, you surprised me a bit is all. It’s just a bit early. You know how it is. I can barely remember my own name before eating something in the morning,” she said, not sounding convincing at all.
I nodded and went back to eating. “Good because we’ve put a lot of work in,” I told her.
Picking her fork up off the table, she went back to eating as well. Silence stretched between us again.
“I-I have to go,” Hayley said, finishing off her plate and juice in record time. She stood and started heading towards the bedroom.
I pushed back my chair and followed. “What? Why?” I asked.
“I have to go see Jacob,” she explained, staring to put her clothes on. “I should check on him.”
“I thought he was staying with-”
“He is.”
“Is he okay? Did something change?” I asked, getting concerned.
“Oh, no, he’s fine,” Hayley said, buttoning up her blouse. “ I just don’t feel right leaving him for so long. He doesn’t do very well at our parents’.”
I watched her as she packed, feeling lost. It seemed strange that she would leave so fast, but I could also understand how she was worried about her brother, especially under the circumstances. I certainly knew about the pain and dangers of PTSD. I’d seen it lots before, as well as knew how hard it was to get effective help. A problem going back decades as far as I understood.
“I’ll see you tomorrow, right?” I asked, the question surprising me almost as much as it seems to surprise her. “I’ll drive you to work, like usual?”
Hayley looked at me like she was trying to decide if I was serious or not. “Maybe,” she said finally, before walking out.
The pain in my chest was palpable and intense. Almost as much as the pain in my leg, which faded by comparison. I hurt her, and I knew it.
Chapter Fourteen
Hayley
My hands were shaking. Badly. I looked again at the phone screen, which seemed to rotate I front of me. I felt like I was having a panic attack. I was still trying to figure out exactly what happened yesterday morning.
I felt like Liam might have been using me. For my body. My virginity. I didn’t think he was lying about finding me hot and all that. I didn’t know what he thought about me besides that — if he only wanted me as arm candy to look cool at his friend’s wedding. It was basically how we got into this situation. It was what threw us together.