She giggled. “Good, I mean if we are going to be getting married.”
“Right,” I said, not sure if she was kidding or not.
Her expression and tone were impossible to read. A rare occurrence for me. What was not in doubt in any way was the strong, nearly radiant warmth I could feel coming off of her. Warmth, I desperately wanted closer to me.
Chapter Ten
Hayley
We had been a fake couple for nearly a week. Though it didn’t feel that fake to me. My time with Liam was the closest thing to a relationship I had ever had. Logically, I knew that I shouldn’t see it for more than what it was — a business arrangement — but I just couldn’t help myself.
Things in my life were looking up — and it was all thanks to Liam. Not only because of the money. My parents had done okay, and Ann paid me fairly, but Liam had started giving me more money than I had ever seen at once. According to him, it was to get me ready to be his fake fiancée, but it seemed to be a bit too much, even for that.
In the nearly a week, we were pretending to be a couple, he had barely touched me, aside from the occasional handholding and kisses on the cheek in the context of masterfully planned public displays of affection to try and really sell the story. He clearly thought I was pretty, or he wouldn’t have chosen me for the assignment, but he had kept things strictly professional, which I suppose was both good and bad. It made me feel a bit better about the deception and less like a whore.
On the other hand, I really wanted to have more than we did. I wanted him to fuck me. Not just a one-off either. It was crazy in the harsh light of day. We had set clear lines but the more time I spent with Liam, the more I wanted to cross them. I was really beginning to see a future with him. If only I knew whether or not he actually felt the same or was putting on an act.
I didn’t really know what to do with all the money. I had learned how to get by with a quarter that much and felt like I was doing fine. It can be a shock getting more money than you ever thought you would have. Rather than being liberating as is so often assumed, it can actually be really paralyzing. Not only is there the fear of losing it all, but the special kind of crisis that can only come with a choice. The age-old paradox of being able to do anything so you end up doing nothing. It was a bit of an exaggeration in my case. I still didn’t quite have do-anything money and I certainly didn’t fool myself into thinking it would last, but I felt something similar to a crisis of choice. Then it hit me. I should use the money he was giving me to feel better with myself, starting with my looks.
It wasn’t the kind of place I would usually go to. Not because of the price, I just can never quite justify the expense to the thrifty part of my brain. The one that sees anything that isn’t starkly utilitarian as a waste and something to be avoided. Except now, it isn’t a waste. I could easily afford it, and it was going towards an established cause. Looking good for the wedding.
The salon I decided to try was beautiful, every detail coming together into the overall aesthetic. It was clear that someone really cared. Either the place was run by the owner, which still happened with such places, or they hired a particularly serious and passionate manager to oversee things.
I was put with a stylist whose name was Gwen. Of course, it was. She actually looked like a Gwen. She looked a bit skeptical when I first showed her the style in the sample book they had, but she didn’t say anything. One of the perks of the price was that it included both a professional shampooing with the highest grade of products, as well as a scalp massage. I was nearly jelly by the time I get into the chair to do the deed.
It really was amazing what a new hairstyle could do for your confidence. With the long-layered cut, I actually felt better, cooler, sexier and started to come out of my shell. Everyone at work noticed. Particularly Ann and Vicky who I guess knew me the best because they were around me the most. They actually invited me to a girl’s night out with them and Amelia, one of the other lawyers. I’d never really been to a bar before except the time at McGintey’s with Liam, and I got a bit tipsy.