“So, how do you want to go about this fake fiancée thing?” Hayley asked, seeming to sense my discomfort.
“Well, that’s what I thought we could go over. It is impossible that we have the same story in our heads and can match them.”
“Makes sense,” she said.
“Okay, so I’ve been out of the army for three years, so we need to have met sometime between my discharge and now.”
“Won’t your friend wonder why you never told him about me?”
“Maybe, but he knows me well enough to know that I keep to myself, though that is a good point. It is probably better if we met fairly recently.”
“Is six months too quick?”
“Maybe a bit, but I can work with that,” I said.
“Okay, good, how did we meet?”
“How about the truth?” I asked.
“The truth?”
“Yeah, you know. You were working for Ann at the law office, and I came in to discuss a legal issue with her, and we happened to meet in her office. Not all that strange with me being her client and you being her aid.”
“No seems about right,” Hayley said.
“Romantic even. Not quite love at first sight but something similar,” I said.
“Yeah, actually,” she said, thinking it over.
“How did I propose?” I asked.
“At a restaurant,” Hayley said, “we were just finishing dessert when you got down on your knee and asked me.”
“Ring?”
“What do you mean?”
“What kind of ring?” I asked.
“I’ve got a really nice sapphire I got from my mom when I graduated,” she said. “Perfect, start wearing it, at least around the office,” I said.
“Okay,” she said, seeming to be happy with that.
“What else?” I asked, leaving the next thing up to her.
“How’s our sex life?” she asked, blushing slightly.
“Is that likely to come up?” I asked. The booth we were sitting in suddenly seemed too small.
“It might, it is better to know in case it does. Better to be prepared, I think.”
“Agreed,” I said, looking to see if our milkshakes would be showing up anytime soon.
“So, what’s going on there?”
“Like how?”
“Like how many times do we, you know, do it?” she asked.
“Three times a day?” I suggested. I couldn’t help it. I raised one eyebrow as I looked at her.
“Golly!” Hayley turned bright red and giggled. It was adorable.
“A quickie in the morning, once after work and once before we go to sleep,” I explained.
“Make sense, actually,” she said. “We are supposed to be in love.”
“I know, I ran the math,” I said with a wink.
“And are you, um -”
“Endowed?” I asked.
“Sure,” she said.
“Do you really want to know?”
“Yes, that is, i-it might be, um, i-important.”
“Okay, but only because you stammered, which is adorable,” I said.
Using my hands, I showed her exactly how long my cock was when hard. I honestly thought she might faint.
Just then, the server came back with our orders, and this seemed to perk Hayley up considerably.
“Fuck,” she whispered after the first sip of her shake.
“I know, right?” I asked.
“Oh, damn.”
“What?”
“I don’t know your parent’s names. That’s even more likely to come up than how many times we fuck,” she said.
“Fair point, their names were Mary and John,” I said.
“Were?”
“They both died in a car crash when I was deployed,” I said.
“That’s awful!”
“I know.”
“Yeah, of course,” she said, catching herself.
“What about you?” I asked.
“Both parents alive and still married,” she said.
“Lucky,” I said, meaning it.
“Don’t I know it,” she said.
“What are their names?” I asked.
“Sara and Joel.”
“Jewish?” I asked.
“Not that I know of,” she said.
“Ah.”
“Would that be a problem?”
“Oh, no, not at all, just curious, that’s all,” I said.
“Mom is a teacher, and Dad is an accountant,” she volunteered.
“Useful,” I said.
“Any tattoos?” Hayley asked, taking an obvious stare at all of my body.
“I was in the army, what do you think?”
“What and where?” she asked. Her gaze got more intense, and I wanted to show her.
“Curiosity?” I asked.
“Honestly, yes.”
“It’s okay, I have an ace of spades on my shoulder and a pi on my thigh,” I said.
“A pie?” Hayley asked, confused.
“Pi, as in the mathematical equation no one can solve. I’m a bit of a math nerd, and I like the idea of infinity.”
“Cool.”
“Thanks.”
“And the ace is what?”
“Death?”
“What?”
“The ace of spades represents death, at least while you are doing a tarot reading using regular playing cards. It was a reminder that death was always at my side and to never forget it or take it for granted. It helped keep me alive,” I explained.
“Wow.”
“I also rally like Motörhead,” I added on, somewhat mitigating the effect.
“Math and Motörhead,” Hayley said, “you really are an odd and wonderful man.” “Thanks,” I said, “you’re pretty cool yourself.”
“You don’t know me,” she pointed out.
“Not yet, but I’m getting there.”
Hayley sat back in her seat. She raised her eyebrows. “Do you like what you see?” she asked, coyly playing with the stem of her glass.
“So far, very much,” I admitted.