He shook his head. “No, I don’t. You’re wrong.” The words about Alexa’s betrayal hovered on his lips but he bit them back. He refused to break her parents’ hearts by telling him of their loveless marriage. “There are other personal reasons, Maria. Things I can’t discuss. Things I may not be able to forgive.”
“You’re wrong, Nicholas,” Jim said softly. “There is always room for forgiveness. If you love each other. I betrayed my children’s trust. My wife. I ran and turned my back on everyone I promised to cherish. But they forgave me, and we are whole again.”
Maria nodded. “Marriage is messy. People make mistakes. Sometimes we do terrible things. But the vows you spoke encompassed good times and bad.”
Nick choked on the lump in his throat. “I don’t have staying power. I’m like my father. He’s on wife number four, and he only cares about himself. I can’t stand hurting an innocent child. There’s nothing worse than not being wanted.”
He braced himself for disdain and shock. Instead, Maria laughed and crossed the room to take him in his arms in a tight hug. “Oh, Nicholas, how could you possibly say that? Don’t you remember how often you’d sneak into my house to steal cookies and keep an eye on your sister? You are a loving, whole man and nothing like your father. I see this every time you look at my daughter, and your love for her shines from your eyes.”
Jim cleared his throat. “You are your own man, Nick. You make your own mistakes and choices. Don’t go blaming anything on genes or hide behind excuses. You’re better than that.”
Maria cupped his face with her hands. Her eyes reflected love and humor and understanding. “A man like your father would never have given us such a generous gift. The money you and Alexa gave us allowed us to take care of our children and keep our home.”
Nick frowned. “Money?”
She shook her head. “I know Alexa said it was a condition that I never mention it, but really, sweetheart, you must know how grateful we are.”
He played along, as his gut screamed the answer was the final piece to the puzzle of his wife. “Yes, of course, it was our pleasure. And you used it for…”
Maria tilted her head. “To save our home, of course. Now Jim and I can take care of the bills, and the upkeep. We finally have a chance. And it’s all because of you.”
The puzzle lay before him in vibrant glory. Complete. The money he taunted her with had not gone to her business. She had lied and saved her family’s house. That was the reason she married him.
She’d tried to get the loan on her own for her cafe, but was rejected. And now he realized why Alexa had never told him the truth. How could she? He’d never offered her a safe place to confess her truth. She refused to let him pity her or her family, or even hold something over her head. She took care of her own, because anyone Alexa loved she fought for ‘til the death. She was the most loyal, forgiving, headstrong, passionate woman he’d ever met in his life, and he was madly in love with her.
The truth pulsed in every muscle in his body. She hadn’t lied about the baby. She hadn’t tried to get pregnant. Somehow, it had happened, but she had been stupid to trust him enough to tell him the truth, and try to explain. She actually trusted him enough to think he’d be happy about the baby.
And he’d betrayed her. Choosing to believe the poisonous remarks of Gabriella and her father over the woman who loved him.
For the first time since his epiphany, he wondered if she’d ever forgive him.
He stared at Maria. This woman had given her daughter not only the strength to fight for what she believed in, but a heart which gave love unconditionally. A heart he prayed would give second chances.
He thought of his father and his many women. He thought of how hard he had worked to avoid emotion so he wouldn’t be hurt the way his parents had hurt him. The way their relationship had hurt everyone around them.
The lightning bolt crashed through the room and shook him to the core.
He realized if he kept pursuing the same path, he’d be exactly like his father. Nick crushed his fingers into a tight fist. By cultivating distance in his relationships to avoid pain, he created a man who was a shell. But those actions caused the woman he loved more heartache than anyone deserved. He was a gutless coward who hurt people because he only cared about himself.
Inside, the fear still clung to him with a stickiness he’d bred over the years. But for the first time, he wanted to try. He wanted to give her what she needed. He wanted to be a father, a husband, a friend. He wanted to protect her and care for her and live the rest of his days with her. Maybe if he gave her everything he had, everything he was, he’d be enough for her.
The final wall around his heart shook. Crumbled. And broke.
Somehow, Alexandria believed he was enough because she loved him.
His hands trembled as he clasped Maria’s fingers. “I have to talk to her.”
Maria nodded. “Go make it right.”
He straightened his spine and faced his father-in-law across the room. “I screwed up, too. I can only hope she forgives me. But I’m going to try.”
Jim smiled. “You will, son.”
Nick glanced down at the ugly hound dog he’d begun to love. “I think I have an idea.”
…
Maggie set down a steaming cup of herbal tea and whisked away the cappuccino that had taunted Alexa for the past few minutes. “No caffeine. Tea has antioxidants.”
She gave a weak laugh. “Yes, Mom. But I don’t think a cafe mocha when I’m this exhausted is going to cause any damage.”
“Caffeine stunts the baby’s growth.”
“So does stress and not making enough money to afford a baby.”
“Hmm, must be the hormones. You’re definitely cranky.”
“Maggs!”
Her friend tossed a grin and plucked the lid off the tea. “I just like to piss you off. Make sure you haven’t turned into one of those mooning tragic heroines you like to read about so much.”
“Screw you.”
“Better.”
Alexa looked up at her with genuine warmth. She was going to be okay. After two weeks away from Nicholas, every day became a trial of strength and fortitude she was too stubborn not to meet. She’d kept the news a secret from her family, but planned to reveal the truth this weekend. Maggie would help her. And even though she hadn’t secured the loan for the bookstore, BookCrazy was making a more steady profit. She’d survive.