“You want to own a restaurant?” Claire tilted her head and he felt her intense gaze on him. His muscles locked and his skin turned hot and prickly as she assessed him with this new information. Would she declare he was too optimistic? That he lacked something essential to even consider the possibility.
“I used to entertain the idea.” He gave her a lopsided smile as if it wasn’t a big deal. That it had been a passing thought that he hadn’t pursued because there were more important things in life. It was easier to pretend.
“I always assumed your one goal was to promote your family’s winery,” she said. “It was your sister’s passion and I figured it was yours, too.”
“I didn’t want to have anything to do with Mountain Creek when I was younger. I saw how my grandparents were bound to the land. They wanted it that way, but to me it seemed they were chained to that way of living. The passion my parents have for the winery consumes them. I often wonder if it’s healthy. And with Kim...well, it’s in her blood. It’s her dream. Her vocation.”
“But it’s not in your blood?” Claire asked.
“No, I thought I could do something else.” The words pressed against his tongue. He wanted to bite down and hold them back but he found that he couldn’t. Not with her. “For a while there, I wanted to become a chef.”
He held his breath as he waited for Claire’s response. Would she laugh? That wasn’t like her. Would she list all the reasons it wouldn’t work? Or worse, would she dismiss his dream?
“Oh,” Claire drawled as she tilted her head back, “so that explains it.”
His hands hurt from squeezing the steering wheel. “Explains what?”
“Why I always find you in the kitchen at the wine bar. You are rarely in your office,” she said. “It would also explain why you put so much effort in to the appetizers. I thought you were giving yourself an edge over the other wine bars.”
“I don’t do the cooking. There’s a kitchen crew for that,” he said as he began to relax. “But I do have an input on the menu. It’s the closest I get to being a chef.”
“You could become one if you wanted to.”
He gave her a curious look. “No, how could I? I manage the wine bar and the tasting room. I put on events and promote the winery. It’s a full-time job.”
“So? There’s a culinary school in Seattle.”
“Yeah, I know.” He paused before he went with his gut and continued. “I applied there about five years ago, but I didn’t get in.”
“Why not?”
He shrugged. It had been a form rejection. They hadn’t given him any real consideration. It had been a painful setback. Why was he was telling Claire any of this?
“Were they filled for that year?” she asked. “Did you apply the next year?”
“No, why would I do that? Nothing had changed from the year before.”
“Did they say you needed some kind of experience?” She twisted in her seat to face him. “Did you apply for a job in a restaurant?”
Her questions rained down on him and he couldn’t shield himself. He’d forgotten how persistent Claire could be. How she could poke at a wound until he wanted to snap at her so she would back off. “It wasn’t that simple.”
“Why not? Were they looking for something else?” she asked. “Did you find out what they wanted so you could meet their requirements?”
“Whoa, Claire.” He held up his hand for her to stop. “Where are all these questions coming from?”
“What did you do when you were rejected?” she asked.
“There was nothing I could do. Sometimes you have no control over these decisions. I moved on.”
She narrowed her eyes as if she was trying to understand. “You were told no and you moved on? It must not have been important to you.”
“It was.” He gritted his teeth as he turned the car into her apartment complex. It had been so important that he had battled hard with his family to even apply to the culinary school. He had gone to the university they’d chosen, but after that he wanted to try something else.
In the end, they’d reluctantly supported him but offered no encouragement. And then it had all come crashing down within a summer. “I was so sure I would get in, and then I was declined.”
“By how many schools?”
“Just the one.” He had considered it the top school and he deserved the best. He hadn’t considered the possibility of not getting in. He had always gotten what he wanted but he had no achievements to back up his arrogance.