Next time. Tina closed her eyes. Next time wouldn’t include her. She knew Dev would be a good father. She would’ve loved to have seen him cradling their baby. He would be a fierce protector, a patient teacher and offer the unconditional love he hadn’t got as a child.
She opened her eyes when she heard the beep of his watch. “Time for your medicine and a drink,” he announced as he pushed a button on his modern timepiece before rising from his chair.
“No more water.” She shook her head. Dev was taking his role as caregiver very seriously.
“You need to keep hydrated,” he said as he walked around the bed to the door.
“Be careful, Dev. I might get used to this kind of attention.”
He paused and captured her gaze. “That’s the plan.”
Tina watched wordlessly as he strolled out of the room, whistling a tune from a Salman Khan movie. She stared at the door long after he left. She wasn’t sure what he’d meant. Did he want her to stay after the two months were up? No, she shouldn’t get her hopes up. His words must have had a simpler meaning. That the next time she was sick, she should turn to him for comfort.
There was probably not going to be a next time. She was usually healthy. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d had a cold or the flu. The last time she’d felt nauseous and dizzy was...
Tina’s gasp echoed in the bedroom. She flattened her hands against her stomach as the panic raced through her blood. The last time she’d felt like this was in the very early stages of pregnancy.
“No,” she whispered as the fear clawed through her. “No, no, no! Not again.”
CHAPTER TWELVE
TINA LEANED HER head against the tile wall of her bathroom and closed her eyes. She was sick with nerves. She wanted to double over as the panic threatened to consume her.
Flapping her hands at her sides, Tina tried to gather up the last of her courage. She hadn’t been feeling very brave for the past two weeks. Not since she realized her stomachache could mean she was pregnant. Tina had been in denial ever since.
She refused to be pregnant. Refused to go through that nightmare again.
But she couldn’t ignore the symptoms anymore. She continued to fight the dizziness. The nausea came in waves. Her appetite increased and her sex drive was out of control.
Dev didn’t seem to notice or mind her symptoms. He liked how she reached out for him while they walked side by side. She held on to him, at times clung to him, relying on his strength while her world tilted. He enjoyed sharing his food with her, coaxing her closer as he fed her by hand. Dev never missed the opportunity to stroke her lips with his thumb or capture her chin so he could steal a kiss.
And the sex...Tina’s breath hitched in her throat as her skin tingled. She couldn’t get enough of Dev and he reveled in the knowledge. Encouraged it. It was as if he knew the sight of his bare chest and the scent of his skin drove her wild.
Tina rubbed her eyes with the heels of her hands and groaned. She couldn’t be pregnant. She and Dev had been careful. It didn’t matter if they made love in the courtyard under the stars or indulged in fast and furious sex that took them both by surprise. Dev always used protection. Except for that one time...
She was probably pregnant, Tina admitted to herself. She pressed her trembling lips together as the fear spiked in her chest. She wanted to be a mother, but what if there were complications? What if she miscarried again? The tears trickled down her cheeks. What if she slipped into the darkness, but deeper, and this time never resurfaced?
Dev would take care of her. The thought whispered through her troubled mind. Her eyelashes fluttered as she remembered his promise. He would be there for her this time. He would care for and protect her and the baby. She knew Dev would honor his vow.
And he would insist that they stay married. Tina shook her head and sighed when the hope bubbled and fizzed inside her like champagne. She still loved her husband and wanted to stay with him. But not this way. She wouldn’t trap him into marriage again.
Tina wiped the tears from her cheeks with the back of her hands and pushed away from the wall. Perhaps she was borrowing trouble. It was possible that she wasn’t pregnant. That her body was still recovering from the stress and changes she had suffered in the past year.
She clung to that belief as she cautiously approached the sink and grabbed the slim pregnancy test stick. Tina braced herself as she glanced at the screen. For a moment her mind didn’t register what the two pink lines meant.
Pregnant.
She was pregnant. Tina tossed the stick back on the counter as if it had burned her. A sob erupted from her throat and she clapped her hand over her mouth. It was happening all over again. He legs shook and she slowly slid to the floor. She knelt on the cold linoleum as she cried. What was she going to do? She couldn’t lose another baby.