Crewe was absolutely still. It didn’t seem like he was even breathing. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“I’ve decided to go back to America, Crewe. That’s all I’m trying to tell you.”
He stepped closer to me before his voice turned hostile. “Look at me.”
I knew I would cry the second that I did. I lifted my gaze and stared into his scotch-colored eyes. Tears formed in the corners of my eyes then dripped down my face.
Crewe watched me without an ounce of sympathy. “Where is this coming from?”
“I’ve been thinking about it for a while.”
“Didn’t seem that way yesterday,” he said coldly. “Or the day before. Or the day before that…”
“I just…I guess I’ve been waiting.” I grabbed the handle to my suitcase, like that would make my intention more convincing. “I’m sorry, Crewe. I don’t know what to say.” I moved around him and headed to the door.
He blocked the way with his massive size. “This isn’t making any sense. We were happy yesterday.”
“I haven’t really been happy. I stay home all day—”
“I never had a problem with you going to school.”
“I know, but it’s not—”
“You don’t need to transfer your credits if you get your citizenship and live here forever,” he said simply. “So what the fuck? This isn’t making any sense. What aren’t you telling me?”
“I’m not hiding anything,” I said defensively. “I just…I don’t want this lifestyle. I don’t want to go to these fancy parties with people I’ll never be good enough for. I don’t want to be dressed up like a doll and reminded not to slouch. I just want a normal life, Crewe. We both know I’ll never get that with you.”
“You’re destined to have more than a normal life,” he said quietly. “Even if you’re unhappy with the situation, it doesn’t make sense for you to leave. You love me.”
The words elicited more tears. “Don’t make this harder than it needs to be.”
“I’m not the one making this hard. You’re giving me whiplash right now.”
“I’m sorry if I’ve confused you…but I want to leave.”
He clenched his jaw in annoyance, his eyes darkening. “This isn’t making any sense.”
“Crewe, I don’t want to be with you.” I strengthened my voice so it wouldn’t shake. “I came back because I thought I loved you, but I think that was just a high. Now that I’m here as a free person, I realize I don’t want to be here.”
He continued to block the door, but his hostile expression softened.
“Based on the way we started, it would never work between us. We had no chance anyway. We were never going to get married, so it makes sense for me to leave sooner rather than later.” The mention of marriage made me want to cry harder.
Crewe bowed his head to the floor. “I didn’t realize you felt this way.”
“I…I do.” A part of me wanted him to catch my lie, to know I didn’t want to say any of this.
“How long have you felt this way?”
I made something up. “A few weeks.”
“And you aren’t willing to work on it with me?”
“No,” I whispered. “I want to marry a normal guy…have a normal life. I’m sorry.”
He rubbed his fingers over his jawline, his shoulders stiff with pain. “And that’s it?” he asked incredulously. “You’re just gonna go, and we’re gonna move on like nothing happened?”
I nodded.
He dragged his hand down his face then shook his head. “I guess Ariel was right. I feel like an idiot.”
That was the last nail in the coffin. More tears fell.
Crewe finally stepped out of the way. He moved toward the fireplace and didn’t turn around, refusing to look at me.
The path to the door was open, and now I had no reason to stay. I waited for him to say something, to understand this wasn’t me at all. I hoped he would understand how much I loved him and I would never do this unless someone were forcing me. But I knew Josephine had fucked up his brain. She left him for someone else, and now I was leaving him. It wasn’t the first time a woman broke his heart.
I finally opened the door and walked out, doing my best not to look at him. I made it down the hallway and to the stairs, the tears falling harder and harder. Like a sheet of rain, the moisture drizzled down my face.
When I got to the front door, Dimitri stared at me with concern. He didn’t show any joy at my sadness, only confusion.
I got the door opened and ran right into Ariel. In her typical dark clothing, she looked like she had returned just to make sure I kept my word. She looked right at the tears on my face without giving the slightest reaction.
I had to steady my fist so I wouldn’t punch her. Nothing I’d like to do more than break that pretty little nose of hers. “You should be ashamed of yourself.” That was the best I could come up with on the spot. I moved past her, purposely shoving my shoulder into hers as I moved down the stone steps and to the driveway. There was a black SUV waiting for me, and the man got out and immediately helped me into the back seat.