“Scotch, if you have it.” He took a seat on the couch.
I didn’t, but I probably wouldn’t offer it to him even if I did. “How about water?”
“I guess that’ll do.” I carried two glasses to the coffee table and sat beside him, feeling my heart race as fast as it did when I spotted him on the sidewalk.
Crewe looked at me, looking like a handsome man I’d found in a bar. He didn’t look like Scottish royalty, like a man who’d inherited a castle and a lifetime of wealth. He just looked like a man I’d given my heart to. His hand moved to my thigh, his strong fingers squeezing my muscle gently. The look he gave me wasn’t nearly as intense as it normally was, but it hinted at the old affection he used to show me. It was the first time I looked at him and didn’t see the anger on his face. “You want to head back with me tomorrow?”
“Back to Scotland?”
“Yeah. If you need some time to wrap up things with your job, I can wait. I can do most of my work from my laptop.”
He expected me to drop my life and take off with him again—typical. “I have a life here now, Crewe. I have a job I like, and I’m starting classes again in the fall. I said I wanted to start over, not go back to how we were.”
His gaze turned searing, pregnant with disappointment. “Then how do you expect to do this? You know I can’t move here.”
“And I can’t move there either.”
His eyes narrowed even further. “You were prepared to live there when you stayed in Scotland.”
“I know. But you let me go. I meant what I said, Crewe. That was your only chance. You had four weeks to change your mind, but you didn’t.”
He pulled his hand off my thigh, his gaze turning hostile. “Now look who’s stubborn.”
I let the jab wash over my skin. “I’ve already sacrificed enough for you, in case you’ve forgotten. How would you feel if I asked you to walk away from your business, your home, and your friends just because I said so? I know you, Crewe. You couldn’t give up your life the way I gave up mine. You would never be happy.”
“Well, I won’t be happy with you living all the way here by yourself.”
“I’ll be fine. Don’t worry about me.”
“Now that I’ve seen you walk home alone at night, I don’t believe that.”
“If you attacked me, I would have stabbed you in the eye.”
“And I would have taken you just like I did last time,” he said coldly.
This conversation was taking a steep nose dive. “Those are my terms, Crewe.”
“If this is a relationship, we both get terms.”
“Yes, you’re right. But I’m not leaving. I’m finishing school like I planned.”
“And how will we see each other?”
“When I have breaks, I’ll fly out and see you. When you have time, you can fly out and see me.”
Now he looked like he wanted to strangle me. “Is this a joke? I’m not doing a long-distance relationship. Those never work. I want you in my bed every single night. I want us to be together, not on different continents. Your stubbornness is annoying.”
I scoffed. “You’re one to talk.”
Crewe clenched his jaw tightly. “You’re a bright woman. You know your plan is unrealistic and unattainable. That’s not a relationship. That’s a long-distance booty call. I’m always down for a hookup, but not like this.”
I wasn’t stupid. I knew what I was offering was a little ridiculous. But I was tired of being the one to sacrifice everything for the relationship. I gave up six months of my life for this man. I wasn’t giving up anything else. “I don’t have a better idea.”
He leaned back into the couch and sighed, his annoyance filling up the apartment like the heater on a cold day.
I didn’t look at him because I didn’t want to see his anger. I’d looked at it enough times.
He sat up again. “What do you need, exactly?”
“What?”
“What are the specific things you need? School, right? What else?”
“Independence. My own apartment. My freedom…”
“Okay, you can have all of that in Scotland. We can enroll you in a medical program there, we can get you a flat, and you can do whatever you want. How about that?”
It was the only reasonable compromise I could think of. But it still wasn’t what I had planned. “That would mean I’d be living there forever…because then I can only practice medicine in the UK. I can’t just transfer that back to America. I’d have to retake a few classes.”
Crewe stared at me with an unreadable expression. “We’re both making sacrifices here.”
“What sacrifices are you making?” I demanded.
“Everything. You think I want you to live alone? You think I want you to be at school all day? If I had it my way, we would go back to exactly how we were. So yes, I am making sacrifices.”