My hands relaxed against his arms, and instead of pushing him away, I began to pull him closer into me.
“When I was engaged to Josephine…”
He was engaged?
“I thought I loved her. I thought we could have a great life together. But being with you has shown me how much of a mistake that would have been. I was so angry when she left me for Sir Andrew, but after I had you… I thought it was the best thing that had ever happened to me. I’ve never felt close to anyone like I do with you. It’s like…I don’t feel so alone.”
Josephine left him? I didn’t know any of this.
“I’ve had a hard time accepting everything that happened because it hurt me so much. When I said I loved you, I meant it. The idea of you not meaning it…hurts me more than I can put into words. The fact that any of it was a lie hurt. But you’re right, I’m not so innocent. I didn’t start off this relationship in the right way. I kept you as a prisoner for most of it. So…I’m just as guilty. You did what you had to do to survive. And I respect that.” His hands released my arms and moved to my waist. His fingertips dug into me the way they used to, with desperate need and unbridled passion. “I know I was an ass to you. It’s hard for me to forgive someone when they cross me…just a mentality I have.”
“But you know I didn’t mean to cross you. I told Joseph not to come—”
“I know. And you saved Ariel when you didn’t have to. You saved me. I know. I’m just a stubborn man.”
“Very stubborn man.”
He didn’t smile, but his eyes lit up slightly. “I thought I could forget about you and move on with my life, but I can’t. That’s why I’m here. I left Scotland without thinking any of this through…unsure what my goal was. But now that I’m here, I know exactly why I flew across the world to see you.” He pressed his body farther into me, sandwiching me against the wall. He rested his forehead against mine and looked down at my lips. It was dark and cold, but the combination of our bodies kept us warm.
“Then what do we do?”
“I don’t know,” he whispered.
“My life is here. Your life is there. It’s already so complicated.” When I was in Scotland, I would have stayed if he asked me to. But I moved on from that possibility and settled in New York, assuming that’s where my future was.
“I know. But we’ll make it work…somehow.”
“How?” I pressed. “Because it can’t go back to what it was. I’m not gonna sit in my room all day until you’re done with work. I need my own life, my own goals. I need to be a free woman, not someone at your beck and call. We need a new start, one where my conditions are met.”
He stepped back so I could see his face. “Start over?”
“Yes. You know, where we go on dates and get to know each other. Not where you boss me around all day. I need to be my own person.”
“So…you would live somewhere else?”
“Preferably.”
“Okay…does that mean you’re giving me another chance?” He looked at me with hope in his eyes.
When I said I wasn’t coming back, I meant it. But now that I was looking at Crewe, getting lost in his scotch-colored eyes, I didn’t want to say no. I didn’t want to be stubborn. “I’m willing to forgive and forget if you are.”
The smile that was in his eyes finally reached his lips. He came closer to me, his hands gripping my sides once again. He pressed his lips to my forehead and gave me an affectionate kiss, an action that contradicted his nature. “Forgive and forget.”
“It’s not much, but this is what I call home.” We entered my small apartment, and I left my jacket by the door. I was still in my scrubs, so I didn’t exactly look my best. I usually wore a tight dress—exactly what Crewe liked.
He didn’t look around, his eyes on me. “It’s nice. Smells like you.” He slid off his thick jacket and placed it next to mine on the coat hanger. His strong shoulders came into view through his t-shirt, as well as the rest of his powerful physique.
I suddenly remembered I hadn’t even washed the sheets from the night before with Roy. And he was still under the impression we were hooking up tonight. It was three in the morning, so maybe he already went home.
But what if he didn’t?
“You want anything to drink?” I walked into the kitchen to stall, needing to keep him away from my bedroom. Crewe probably wouldn’t know some other man had been there just hours before he arrived, but that felt deceitful. I would never want to hop into a bed another woman had just rolled around in.