My instinct is to reject every word she’s saying. I’m not of the belief that every fucked up thing that happens in life is for a reason—sometimes shit just happens.
Carly continues, “And while I think your hatred for this man is probably completely justified, if the fixation on him hurts you… maybe it’s healthier to let it go and move on. Make a happy life for yourself and don’t worry about the people who only hurt you. Make a life with people who let you be happy.”
I can’t help smiling a little wryly at that last part. “You wouldn’t happen to have anyone in mind, would you?”
Carly rolls her eyes at me, shoving me in the arm. “I’m not talking about me. This has nothing to do with me. I’ve noticed you don’t seem to have friends or any kind of roots here. Does that make you happy? Is that how you want to spend the rest of your life?”
“You keep saying that like I’ve got much of it left. You don’t get it, Carly. I understand why you don’t get it, you’re not from my world, but trust me—I am living on borrowed time here. I don’t get to start over now. He already gave me a chance to do that and I blew it.”
“Okay, then why hasn’t he found you?” she shoots back. “This guy runs Chicago, right? He’s an evil genius who can practice mind control and exile people from a city like he actually fucking owns it, right? So how is it a man this powerful can’t find you? You live out in the open, you’re using your real name, you have a lease and a job. You aren’t hiding. So, if this man wants you dead, why are you sitting on my couch, eating my popcorn?”
That’s the part I can’t figure out. That’s the exact question I keep coming back to, over and over again. We’re creeping up on Christmas here. We’re creeping up on nine goddamn months since I took Mia and he still hasn’t found me? It doesn’t make sense.
Her tone shifts, becomes lighter again, and she leans back into my side, grabbing a handful of popcorn like she hasn’t just been playing counselor. “Tell me something. If you didn’t have a death sentence hanging over your head and you did have a second chance to start a new life away from your crazy family, what would you want to do with it? What do you want your life to look like?”
My lips curve up faintly. “Are we baring our souls now? Have we reached that point in our non-relationship?”
“Yep,” she says confidently. “You show me yours, I’ll show you mine.”
I slide her a look at that comment, but she only smiles and winks in response. “I don’t know,” I tell her, honestly. “I haven’t really thought too much about it. Wasn’t a realistic possibility.”
“Let’s say it is. I’m a secret fairy godmother, I can grant you a pardon from your cousin’s retribution and you can build a new life. Paint me a picture. Do you live in this apartment? Do you buy a house? Do you get a dog?”
“Mia hated dogs,” I remark.
Her nose wrinkles up. “Who hates dogs? Is she a serial killer?”
I can’t help smiling. “They shed all over the place. Plus, she has a thing for expensive shoes and dogs tend to chew things.”
Her bun bobs as she nods her head, “Okay, so first order of business is we’re getting you a dog. Big dog? Mid-size? I can see you with a lab or a German Sheppard. You should name him Bandit or Rebel.”
“I like Bandit,” I admit.
“Okay, we’re getting you a puppy named Bandit. He probably needs a backyard, huh? Are you a condo guy or a house guy?”
“Probably a house guy. More room to have people over for cook-outs. I’m sure Bandit likes cook-outs. Steals hamburgers off the table.”
Carly grins. “That sounds like Bandit. He’s such a rascal. What about your job, do you like your job?”
“I do, but I hate working for other people. I’d rather own it myself.”
She nods her approval. “Open your own bar. What’s it called?”
“Wild Aces.”
“I love that,” she tells me. “See, this is shaping up to be a nice life. Assuming you get over your allergy to relationships, maybe you’ll even meet yourself a nice lady, one who likes dogs and handsome bar owners. Do you want any kids?”
“Maybe. You?”
“One or two,” she verifies, nodding. “If I have to stay in Connecticut, I’d also like to move Laurel here. Don’t know if she’d want to move before she graduated though, she would have to transfer. My grandparents are dead so Laurel’s the only family I have left. I think it would be nice to build my own little family here.”
I’ve literally never even considered the picture Carly is painting for me. I mean, I have—but only if it included Mia. This is exactly what I thought I could have with Mia, a normal life, away from Mateo. I’ve never even entertained the possibility of having it with anyone else, though. No one else made me feel the way Mia did.