“Well, I’ve wanted you to belong to me since the night we met.”
“You have?”
“I have,” he croaked out. “Pass me the wine.”
I gave him the bottle and watched him pour what was left into his glass.
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Because you’re straight,” he said flatly, “and I didn’t want you to run.”
“No, Cel, I would never run away from you.”
He whimpered. “You say that, but if I leaned over and tried to kiss you, I think—”
“I would have kissed you back,” I promised him.
Quick inhale of breath. “Do you want to have sex with me?”
I had to be honest or this wasn’t going to work. “I don’t know. Is that bad?”
“No,” he said, sounding almost relieved. “It’s not bad. I’m just glad I somehow wasn’t completely oblivious to what was going on.”
“Because if I said I wanted to screw you, you would have thought, how the hell did I miss that?” I teased him.
“Yes.” He exhaled sharply. “Exactly.”
We were quiet, just staring at each other.
“Do you want to have sex with me?” I got up the courage to ask.
“Yes, I do,” he got up the courage to answer. “But I’m gay, and so far, you’ve been straight, so I think it’s very possible that you don’t know.”
“I would agree,” I said, taking a breath. “You’re amazing. Thank you.”
“What are you thanking me for?”
“Being patient with me while I figure this out.”
“Tell me what you need to figure out,” he prodded gently, but he picked up his fork because, much like me, he was pragmatic. We were going to be talking for a bit, so…we should eat.
I chuckled and darted back around the counter to my own plate. “I love that you want to talk and eat.”
“We always talk and eat, and that’s keeping this, I think, not as weird for me. The normalcy of things we always do. Even though it’s still different,” he admitted. “Because I’m really happy. I mean, it’s nice to be starting something with your best friend in the world. You already get me.”
“Yes, I do,” I agreed.
“On the other hand, I’m worried that this is coming from a place of fear.”
“The only place of fear it’s coming from is losing you, not to a bullet, but to someone else you’d fall head over heels for.”
“But why tonight?”
“I think we need another bottle of wine.”
“Eli,” he pressed me.
I couldn’t stifle the groan. “I’ve been thinking for a while that I want you with me all the time, and that probably means something.”