But even then, I can’t make myself be angry with her.
I’m thankful she showed me the kind of love I could never experience otherwise.
My eyes open when a freezing chill runs through me.
Goddammit, why the hell am I sleeping on the porch?
Thank fucking God I left the door to the living room open, otherwise our kids would be freezing like me.
Our kids. Fuck, Zane. You’re screwed.
I rush inside. Teeth chattering, hands freezing, and still in my suit jacket and slacks, I get under the covers.
* * *
My head hurts and my stomach churns as nausea hits me. Something rings once again, disturbing my sleep. I sift through the pocket of my jacket tangled around me when the bell rings again.
It’s the doorbell!
I groan before shifting on the bed. I clutch the soft comforter, which still smells of lilac and coconut. When I open my eyes, I notice the purple fabric around me.
Shit! I slept in the guest bedroom. I bend my head forward and sniff the soft smell once again, reminding me of Vienna, her skin, her—
The doorbell rings once more.
“I c-can’t fucking have her even in my imagination.”
Dragging my sorry ass out of bed, I plod toward the main door.
I’m sure it’s Zander checking up on me. I hope I can hide this feeling of awfulness. My head hurts as if several drummers are having a live concert inside my skull. My mouth feels dry and my tongue is heavy, alerting me of an oncoming fever.
But when I open the door, I come face to face with Ivy.
Her eyes widen when she takes me in. My disheveled state must have startled her.
“Hi…Zane. We—I thought you’d be at work already, but then I saw your car outside.”
Fuck! What time is it?
“Yeah. I w-was just leaving.”
Her gaze drops from my face to my crumpled clothes.
“I mean after I fr-reshen up. H-how can I help you?”
She shifts on her feet. “I’m here to pick up Vi’s stuff and Tassels.”
My gaze jumps from her face, and I look behind her, trying to find—
“She isn’t here,” Ivy whispers. “She’s…resting at home.”
“S-something happened?” My pulse shoots up. “Is sh-she not feeling w-well? I sh-should call—”
“Zane.” Ivy grabs my hand, and immediately, her hand tightens around my wrist. “You’re burning up.”
“I’m f-fine.” I pull away from her touch. “Is-s Vienna—”
“She’s okay, Zane. She just thought…it’d be better if I grab her things…alone.”