But these days, all I am is a nervous wreck. This relationship was always a ticking clock, and now it’s blaring.
Will she put it to rest by storming out of my life with the same speed she walked into it?
Or will she stay with…me?
* * *
As we head toward the cabin, the last rays of sunlight shine on the top of the tall spruce trees. Grass crunches under our feet, breaking the silence, which doesn’t give me a sense of calm but rather feels eerie.
Vienna steps onto the porch and perches on the couch. I open the door, and as always, Mystery and Tassels rush out, wasting no time jumping into Vienna’s lap. The frown on her face immediately vanishes, and when I think everything is perfect in my world, my cell phone pings, alerting me of an incoming email.
From: Cherrywood Hospital
To: Zane Teager
Dear Mr. Teager,
Your appointment with Dr. Allen has been booked for December 26. Please note that due to the holiday season, staff is limited. We request all patients to arrive fifteen minutes early for registration.
Admin,
Neurology Department
Cherrywood Hospital
I look down at my phone, my heart thrashing like a blender, where several emotions swirl and mix together. Hope for a love-filled life. Fear of being rejected. Worry for Vienna’s health.
“Zane.”
My head jerks up at Vienna’s soft voice. Mystery and Tassels rest their heads on her thighs as she pets them.
There’s a calm and not a good kind. For some reason, the hairs on the back of my neck rise, as Vienna’s violet eyes don’t gleam with mirth this evening.
“I can’t do this anymore,” she whispers, and everything comes crashing down.
My fists tighten as I rein in the anguish, the pain, her five-word sentence has caused me. Her words have silenced the apprehension and sealed my fate for a miserable, lonely life. All that it was before she walked in.
32
VIENNA
“I can’t do this anymore.”
The words have barely left my mouth, and Zane’s face hardens.
I wait, holding my breath.
I wait for him to tell me that he, too, can’t carry on with this charade.
I wait for him to tell me, he, too, can’t bear the burden of hiding our true feelings, which are bigger than any lie.
Sophia’s words about how we survived my sickness together gave me hope. We not only survived but thrived. Zane and I became more than what we expected.
We became one, together.
When Zane lightly nods, there’s a profusion of warmth inside me.
He, too, wants this to end.