I opened my mouth to say no when the air in the house changed.
The front door opened, and the breeze carried a familiar scent to my nose. My heart leapt in excited anticipation. I sat upright. Mom gave me another smug smile. I fought the urge to playfully flip her off. She wasn’t right. I would never be able to have Ryder.
He had a mate already. Loving a man with a mate was to ask for heartbreak. I wouldn’t do that to myself.
He trudged into the kitchen. Mom wasted no time putting a coffee mug and two cookies into his hands. She smiled up at him and gently patted his cheek. Ryder’s grim countenance melted. For a moment, pain stretched his lips. He quickly hid it behind the coffee mug, but his eyes were still glassy.
Ryder had left his family behind in Colorado. Mom’s affection must have reminded him of his own mother that he might never see again. When Ryder came over to stand beside me, I bumped my shoulder against his thigh and looked up at him.
He didn’t look at me. Not because he didn’t want to acknowledge me, but because he was still blinking away tears. Before anyone noticed, I jumped out of my seat and started blabbering about the first thing that came to mind.
I leaned over the sink and parted the curtains in the window. “Why is everyone here? Janessa just took a spatula outside?”
“Your father decided today was a good day to start up the grill. He called the pack and told them to bring over anything they wanted cooked outside. Catriona brought a box of frozen hamburgers. Your father threw them out then went to the market for fresh burgers.”
A smile reached the corner of my mouth. Outside, Dad stood over his old grill. He wore a cheap apron that had said “Don’t Kiss the Cook” before he’d melted the lettering off in a grilling accident.
Okay, so it hadn’t been an accident. We’d used way too much starter fuel and might have set off a fireball. Dad had lost both the lettering on his apron and his eyebrows that day.
Family.
There’d been some good moments in my past. I let my scars dictate what I did and didn’t remember. Dad said some awful things in the past, but he’d also tried to help. He’d done his best despite the pain that it had caused him, too.
I wasn’t ready to forgive my father, but I was hopeful for the future.
Ryder ran his hand over his face and sighed. “I should go out there and greet everyone.”
“You don’t have to do anything just this minute,” Mom said. She kicked the backs of his legs. While she couldn’t knock him over, the gesture prompted him to fall into the chair I’d vacated. “Take your time, hun.”
I met Ryder’s gaze across the kitchen. He gave me an incredulous look as if to saydid I really just listen to a human?I laughed at him.
His break didn’t last long before he stood and gently placed his coffee mug in the sink. I followed him out of the room because my hound couldn’t bear to let him do this alone. The past few days had taken its toll on both of us. I wanted to take his hand, but I didn’t trust myself.
Though I was hot on Ryder’s heels, once we were outside, the pack separated us. Haylee and Kelsey pulled me aside to ask how I was doing. When the wind pushed my hair into my face, Haylee offered me the scrunchie on her wrist.
The gesture floored me in a way I never expected. There was a kind of sisterhood in it that I never expected to share with my packmates.
I accepted the scrunchie and pulled my curls out of my face.
“I always wished I had curls like yours,” Haylee said wistfully. “I’m so jealous of your hair.”
Kelsey laughed. “I’m jealous of your hound’s fur. It’s so sleek compared to a wolf’s coarse fur. I wish my wolf were half as pretty as your hound.”
What was going on? Was this what it was like to be pack? I didn’t know what to say. A part of me couldn’t help but feel like they were lying. I knew that was because I wasn’t used to this, but logic didn’t make the intrusive voice go away.
Behind me, Ryder laughed. The sound broke a little at the end, like he couldn’t keep up the façade. I glanced over my shoulder. His smile was tight at the edges. Once I tore my attention away from him, I soon realized why.
The pack had bowed their heads. Some were still lowering themselves for him. One by one, they bared their necks in a show of submissive reverence. My breath hitched. The display was one of respect, but I could tell that Ryder was overwhelmed.
With wide eyes, he took in each and every shifter present. His gaze dragged along Janessa and Catriona like he wished he could do more for them. I broke away from Haylee and Kelsey to go to Ryder.
His eyes frantically leapt from head to head until I took his face between my hands and forced him to look at me. Worry and shame seemed to darken the lines of his face. He pulled back, squared his shoulders, and cleared his throat.
I stayed near, just in case.
“Get up. You don’t have to bow to me.” Ryder clenched and unclenched his fists at his sides.
Cool. Keep your cool, Ness. You can’t let the ice melt.