It was less of a display and more of a greeting. I shuddered thinking that she and I were the same. Before she could pull away completely, I grabbed her hand and gave it a tight squeeze. Though I wanted to tell her that her arcana didn’t make her a bad person, I didn’t feel like a particularly good person at the moment. I couldn’t say anything and believe it, myself.
“Your arcana isn’t exactly like mine, but it has the same source.” Addie squeezed my hand before letting go.
“What do you mean by the same source?” I already had an idea, but I wanted her to tell me that I was wrong.
“It comes from the other side. I don’t think your arcana will allow you to do what I do. From what I can tell, you don’t have any power over death.” She paused and sucked in her cheek.
Though I wanted to press for more information, I doubted that Addie had it. She’d been denying her own arcana for so long that I suspected she barely understood herself, let alone me. Whatever I’d awakened inside myself was my problem.
“How much do you know about black hounds?” Addie asked.
“Nothing. There was a Barghest in the pack records, but someone ripped out the account. The pages are completely gone.”
Addie rolled her eyes. “We both know that was Alvin. He doesn’t want you to find out whatever was on those pages. I bet that account had something to do with that Barghest’s arcana. If you could find someone who remembers the Barghest, then you could circumvent Alvin’s meddling.”
I opened my mouth to tell Addie that it’d happened long ago and that no one in the pack would remember, but an idea struck me. My packmates hadn’t been around when the last Barghest made an appearance, but there were others in the community who were undying.
“I don’t want to visit Beryl again,” I grumbled.
Did I even have time? I knew Alvin would call another pack meeting soon. No one had bothered to hide Harvey’s body. Instead, Ryder had called Alvin and forced him to take care of his dead son.
Guilt slammed into me all over again. My arcana writhed and hissed. It told me that I’d been justified. Harvey had spent all his chances; his second, third, and last chance had all passed without even a hint of remorse from him. Removing him from this world had been the right thing to do.
The same went for Alvin. Once he was dead and gone, Lakesedge would be safer.
I wished I didn’t have to be the one to do it, though. The burden was too much to bear alone. But Addie pulled her chair close to mine and leaned her head onto my shoulder. We sipped our coffee in comfortable silence.
I wasn’t alone. I had my friends, people who would do anything for me even if it terrified them. I didn’t know how I’d gotten so lucky in that regard. My coworkers at Bad Moon Café were the closest thing I had to true pack.
Ryder
I hated lettingNess go out on her own, but I had to trust her. Besides, if anything happened, all I had to do was look to the sky. The storm that chased her would always warn me if she was in trouble.
There was something else that I had to do. Time was running out. With Harvey dead, tensions in the pack would rise to a breaking point. Alvin would be out for blood tonight. If I couldn’t find a way to mitigate the brewing storm, then the pack would fall apart.
Rolling my shoulders, I wished I could summon my wings again. My beast refused to move. Last night’s events had left him drained. Between the fear and the partial shift, my arcana ran low. I wouldn’t be good for much today, not even after a proper meal.
This walk would have been faster, though, if I could have summoned my wings. I’d arrived at Cerri’s apartment in record time, but leaving seemed to take forever. I breathed a sigh of relief when Bri pulled up alongside of me and unlocked the SUV’s doors to let me in.
“Were you combing Lakesedge to find me?” I asked.
She twisted in her seat to glare at me properly, the full brunt of her ire directed at me. “You bet your ass. Where the hell were you all night?”
I didn’t have the energy to explain. Instead, I sank into my seat and let my eyes drift closed. “Beryl informed me that you’re the new clan leader. Congratulations.”
Bri laughed, a self-satisfied sound. “Someone had to step up after you bounced and Morgan became obsessed with finding you. He didn’t want the job, anyway. He never did.”
Had I even wanted it? Dad had raised me to become the next clan leader, but I couldn’t recall ever wanting it. All I’d wanted was to make Dad proud. I’d wanted to show him that I could be just as good as him.
Instead, I became this mess of a dragon. I had ghosts living inside my head and guilt weighing down my heart. I wasn’t enough for anyone in this state. If Dad could really see me now, he would be disappointed. So much for wanting his pride.
I told Bri to take me home. I had to pick up something from the rental before I moved on to the next task. Bri studied me for a long moment before nodding and putting the SUV into drive once more.
“If you’re clan leader, then why are you out here? You should be home, helping the others.”
“You’re still part of my clan, dummy. I wanted to make sure that you’re okay. You deserved a warning that Morgan would catch up to you soon.” She kept her eyes on the road. “The clan doesn’t need a babysitter. They can manage themselves for a week or two without falling apart.”
I was grateful that she didn’t look at me just then, because her words split me in half. I’d spent over a year running from my own family. To hear that at least one of them still considered me a part of the clan broke something in me that I’d thought long dead.