“You are doing everything that you can.”
That wasn’t enough. I had to do more. Ryder forgot that I wasn’t just a shifter. I’m a Barghest, a black hound. While I didn’t know the full extent of my arcana, I knew that there was a reason that Alvin feared me. If I could explore my arcana to its fullest, then maybe I would be able to find the secret to helping Ryder.
I didn’t have a whole lot of time, though. Harvey would be out for blood. Alvin had given him a loophole tonight. Those who were too weak to defend themselves deserved what happened to them. If Harvey killed me, then it was deserved. The pack wouldn’t be able to say much about it unless they were willing to fight back.
I shuddered. Ryder pulled me into him so that my cheek was pressed against his chest. There, I could hear the rapid beat of his heart.
“Tell me what she wants from you,” I said again. “I can force it out of you, if I have to.”
Ryder growled, his grip on me tightening. I hated how much I liked it. The rumble under my cheek and the press of his fingers into my flesh excited me more than it should have.
“Just tell me.”
“You kept things from me, too. Let me protect you from this.” Ryder let his fingers curl on my lower back.
I thumped my clenched fist against his chest. “That’s not fair. Those are two very different situations.”
“Still, let me protect you from this.”
I’d asked him to help me, hadn’t I? This was my own fault. I’d wanted someone to be on my side, to keep me safe from Alvin and this torment that fate had place upon me. While fate had given me a valiant protector, he was also a bullheaded motherfucker.
My hound pranced, so pleased with how close I was to Ryder. I hated to tell her that it wouldn’t be like this forever. Tonight would never happen again. Once Ryder and Bri fixed their relationship, Ryder would forget about me. My hound growled at me. She didn’t believe me.
I was tired of everyone telling me what to do or what to think. I pushed myself upright. Startled and wary, Ryder blinked up at me.
“What are you doing?” he asked slowly.
I dragged in a breath and summoned a bit of courage for myself. Before he could say anything more, I leaned in. My lips crashed against his. He groaned and opened to me, a response that I had not been expecting.
He cupped the back of my head to hold me in place as his tongue explored my mouth. I almost melted into him. If I didn’t have somewhere to go, then I would have stayed like this. I would have lingered just where this might end up.
Instead, I pushed away from him. He let me go, his hand falling away. His gaze danced across my lips and made my heart flutter excitedly.
Stay, a little voice in the back of my head whispered.Stay and see where this goes.
But I had to go. There were things that only I could fix. While I had no idea how I would go about it, I figured I could at least try. That’s what I’d been doing so far. I gave everything my all whenever I could.
I would give Ryder my all, too. He deserved it for everything he’d done for me.
Hopping off the bed, I bounced on the balls of my feet. I threw a glance back at Ryder and said, “Don’t worry. I won’t tell Bri.”
Ryder’s expression was unreadable. I didn’t have time to stick around and decipher it, either. I had things to do. Though I wanted to tell him that I would be back, I couldn’t make that promise. I planned on heading into the fae den all by myself.
This wasn’t a Seelie court, full of bright angelic beings. Beryl ruled over an Unseelie court. Her people were monstrous and feral. I would have to watch my back tonight.
Ryder stormed after me and grabbed my arm before I could get out the door. “Ness. Stop. You can’t change anything!”
“You don’t know that. Neither of us know that. We won’t until I try.” I jerked my arm out of his grasp.
The night was dark, but there was a lingering humidity in the air that made my hair cling to my skin. I blew a curl out of my face, but it flopped limply against my temple. This weather was no good for my hair. I nervously patted at my curls because Beryl was beautiful. I was…nothing compared to her.
Or Bri.
Now wasn’t the time to think about such things, though. I left Ryder in the doorway, the light inside silhouetting his frame as he watched me leave. The headlights of my shitty sedan cut through the darkness until I reached Lakesedge, where the streetlights had enchantments to make them unbreakable.
My heart hated what I was about to do, but I didn’t have another option. Beryl needed to be stopped. She couldn’t have Ryder. I would give myself up so that he could leave. She would accept the trade. She had to. Who didn’t want a rare Barghest in their service?
Hell, I didn’t know if black hounds were rare. I didn’t know anything, but I had to hold onto hope that this would work.