Ryder tossed me down. The room around me became a blur as I bounced on the mattress. Ryder leaned forward and planted his hands on either side of me so that he filled my vision. My heart pattered nervously.
Ryder looked me up and down without speaking. I could feel his gaze dragging over every inch of my body. My skin tightened in giddy anticipation. But I couldn’t do this.
I put a hand against his chest. The moment I touched him, I could feel my will power begin to slip. He pushed against my hand, testing my limits.
The medallion beneath his shirt slipped and grazed my hand. My carnal thoughts vanished, dashed to bits by the realization that Ryder was still trapped here. Though I was grateful that Ryder kept showing up when I needed him most, he was only here because of Beryl.
“What does she want from you?” I asked.
Ryder sighed. He hung his head, his dark hair tickling my cheek. I ran my hand up his chest. My fingertips slid over his neck and along his jaw so that I could cup his face.
“Tell me, and I’ll help you break this spell she has over you.”
“Ness, stop. You can’t take on the entire world. You already have enough on your plate. Don’t worry about this. All right? Can you do that for me?”
I wanted to shake him. If he would just let me help, then he could have what he wanted. I knew that he was still looking over his shoulder. Not when he was with me, but when it was quiet, and he had time to remember why he’d been running in the first place.
Someday, the consequences of what he’d done would catch up to him. I was afraid to ask what those consequences would be. Ryder made it sound like he’d been forced to kill his clan leader to protect everyone else. I had a feeling that his clan hadn’t agreed with that move.
That made me wonder how my own pack would react if I killed Alvin. I didn’t have the power to do so, but if I could, I would. I would make sure that Alvin never hurt anyone ever again. He didn’t deserve to walk this earth.
But my pack might turn against me if I did. They already blamed me for what they’d become. The pack was full of fear, and they punished me for it because I was the only outlet they could find.
I wrapped my arms around Ryder’s middle and pulled him tight to my chest. Surprised, he dropped his weight on me, but only for the briefest moment. He rolled over, taking me with him so that I was on top of him.
My heart thundered. Every ounce of fear and concern from earlier vanished, replaced by a hunger that I knew would never be sated. Ryder wasn’t mine. He would never be my mate because he already had his own.
He hooked his hands around the backs of my knees and pulled so that I was straddling him. My heart leapt, lodging itself in my throat. I braced both palms against his chest and tried to control my breathing, so I didn’t give myself away.
If he had a mate, then why were we like this? This was more than the need for physical touch that most shifters had. I wanted hugs from my packmates, not…this!
He ran his hands up my thighs and settled on my hips. I desperately wanted him to tighten his grip and take control. I could never make the first move myself.
The medallion had slipped out from under his shirt. It glimmered against the bedsheets beneath him. Curious, I reached forward and tapped the red gemstone with my fingertip. When nothing happened, I picked it up and cradled it in my palm. I didn’t dare give it a tug out of fear that it might retaliate against Ryder.
I wondered if I could give an object a command. While it seemed doubtful that I could command something like a refrigerator, this was an enchantment. There was a chance that my arcana would speak to the arcana inside this.
But Ryder yanked it out of my hand. He locked eyes with me as he dragged his knuckles along the curve of my neck.
“How does that feel?”
My breath quickened. It took too long for me to realize that he wasn’t asking how his touch felt. There must have been bruises on my neck still. Damn my stunted healing. They should have been gone by now.
I was too tired. Alvin and Harvey were keeping me ragged. The next time one of them chased me down, I would break. I already felt too brittle.
“Ness,” Ryder whispered.
A flutter of warmth whispered down my core.
“I’m sorry I couldn’t have been there for you.”
I wanted to roar with rage. “That’s not your fault! She keeps taking you at the worst times.”
His expression darkened. He knew something, but he wasn’t going to say it right now. I would let Ryder keep his secrets. It was the least I could do after getting him trapped here.
I lowered my voice to a near-whisper. “Can I do anything right? It seems like I keep making everything worse.”
He cupped the back of my neck and pulled me closer so that we were eye to eye. This close, our breaths mingled. My hound panted, excited for where this might go.