No. Reach for her again. Hold her. Keep the hound close, keep her safe.
The beast snarled once again. The sound cleared my mind like an eraser over a chalk slate. I gulped down another breath to settle myself. Ness said something under her breath that I couldn’t understand.
“Let’s get you sobered up.” She retreated away from me.
I covered my eyes with my arm and forced myself to stay put. The addled part of my brain wanted me to go to her. The beast held me so that I couldn’t move.
The unseelie queen had fed me something. I remembered, now, how she’d swept in when I had been about to leave. Beryl had taken me. I’d tried to put up a fight when she’d brought me back to her court. I’d gotten out the door several times, but she kept pulling me back in.
That damn bitch wouldn’t let me go. When I realized that she wouldn’t let me escape, I’d decided to make life hell for her. I’d trashed her court more than once. Each time, she snapped her fingers, and everything fixed itself.
Trapped in the nightmare with her while Ness and Bri were on the outside, I’d come close to losing my temper. My calculated destruction had turned violent. The beast had raged inside of me. It’d been close to foaming at the mouth.
I shuddered, thinking about what I’d experienced. Had my father felt the same way? Was that what the sickness felt like?
All just so I could get back to her.
I lowered my arm and sat up just as Ness set a glass of water and a microwaved breakfast sandwich down in front of me. The room tilted back and forth as I stared down at the offering. I scowled and waited for everything to settle.
Not even tequila made me feel like this. I ran my hand over my face. My head didn’t throb, but the way my stomach pinched tight, I had a sneaking fear that there would be other repercussions to what Beryl had done to me.
I chugged the water, but it was bland on my tongue. I yearned for something cooler and crisper but said nothing. The sandwich should help. Cheap, greasy food always helped. But when I bit into it, I tasted nothing. Angry, I took another bite. Still, the sandwich was nothing more than a ghostly presence in my mouth.
My stomach tightened. Hunger gripped me and stirred my beast. It growled for more. I had to keep going. I had to go back and find that gold-tinted food again. That was all I needed. Nothing else would ever compare again.
Ness grabbed the back of my shirt and yanked. The world came back into focus. I wasn’t on the couch anymore. At some point, I’d stood and started making my way to the door. My breath rushed out of me like I’d been hit in the chest.
“You’re not going anywhere,” Ness said, her voice low and threatening.
“Like you could stop me.” I couldn’t help myself. The hunger reared its head again and overwhelmed me.
“I’ve stopped you in the past. I can do it again. Just watch me.”
The way she defiantly lifted her chin captivated me. I turned so that I could breathe her in. The scent of her filled my mouth and stirred my beast. A new kind of hunger rippled through me. I wound an arm around her and pulled her tight to my body. If I could not get the gold-tinted food, then I would have her.
“Ryder,” she said softly.
I dipped my head so that my lips hovered over hers. She would taste wonderful, I just knew it. I wanted to push my tongue past her lips and explore the depths of her.
“Excuse me?” a new voice called out.
I straightened. My head cleared, the world becoming solid once again. When I turned my head, I found Brigid standing in the doorway. She took in Ness and me, but I couldn’t read the emotion behind her shadowed eyes.
I curled my fingers against Ness’s back before releasing her.
It was time to go. My mouth tasted like ash. My beast writhed just beneath my skin. Uncomfortable and exhausted, I stepped away from Ness. Bri watched me with a curious tilt to her head. I ignored her.
I was in enough trouble here. If Beryl showed up to keep me from leaving this time, I would run her down with my car. It was old enough that there was enough iron in it to take her out. I wasn’t playing around with Lakesedge anymore.
That was the final straw.
Ness followed me. Her scent tried to pull me back. It made my head light, like I’d taken a bite of the gold-tinted food again. I pushed the thought from my mind and yanked open the driver’s side door of my car.
“Ryder, what happened?” Bri reached for me, but I ducked out of range.
Head down, Ness pushed past us. I thought about calling after her. My beast nearly made me do it. I held my breath and swallowed my words back down.
No. I couldn’t stay.
It was time to go. Bri had warned me that Morgan would be here soon. He was taking care of a few things back in Thunder Pass. I had lost too much time to Beryl’s manipulation. The time for hesitation was over.
Still, I watched Ness get into her car. She didn’t look back once, even though I desperately wanted her to. I wanted to know that she would be safe out here without me. That was something that she couldn’t promise me, though. I’d seen what her Alpha was willing to do.
“Ryder?” Bri asked again.