That was, if I could sober him up. I pushed back my doubt because there wasn’t time for it. Once I had Ryder loaded into the SUV, I got into the driver’s seat and adjusted it so that my legs could reach the pedals.
“Your mate is really fucking tall, you know that?”
Ryder ran a hand down his face and groaned. He flicked the button on the side of his own seat so that he could recline. Still, he didn’t remove his hand from his face. If he heard me at all, he wasn’t responding.
The engine turned over easily, much smoother than my old sedan. The quiet ride gave me far too much time alone with my own thoughts. I tried to blast the music, but Ryder shot up and slapped the radio to turn it off. He giggled to himself before plopping back down into his seat.
This was a mess. I should have been busy with the box of dresses that Ryder had stolen from Alvin’s house. While I’d been fighting for my life during the recent pack run, Ryder had found the evidence I needed to turn the pack against my tyrannical Alpha. We knew those dresses belonged to women that Alvin hunted and killed, but I needed more to back that up. A box of dresses wasn’t enough.
I needed a body.
The thought brought bile up to sear the back of my throat.
Thankfully, Ryder’s rental apartment came into view. When I pulled into the driveway, I scanned the area for any signs of an impending ambush. Paranoia sung in the back of my mind like a constant siren. I couldn’t escape the fear that someone would leap out of nowhere.
As badly as I wanted to be confident, I’d come close to dying too many damn times in the past weeks. My calves still burned from the hunt. My packmates, people who should have protected me, had bitten me and tried to drag me away.
No, I couldn’t count Marcus, Jackson, and Harvey as packmates. They were monsters hiding in plain sight. Alvin gave them license to run rampant. My packmates were…just cowards.
I spilled out of the driver’s seat and went around to help Ryder out.
“Come on, you big oaf.” I tugged on Ryder’s arm.
He lurched out of his seat and stumbled forward before righting himself. I stood off to the side, chewing on my lip as I watched him stagger towards the door. There was no telling how long this would take. No matter how many times I checked over my shoulder, I saw no sign of Bri, either.
I chewed on the inside of my cheek. Jealousy whispered in my ear like a little devil on my shoulder. I shook myself to clear the unwanted thoughts. Ryder didn’t belong to me. I had no right to hate Bri, let alone leave her in the hands of the fae.
Bri clearly loved Ryder. Why else would the dragon woman trade herself for Ryder’s safety. I couldn’t get in the middle of that, even if my hound let out her loneliness in a pained howl that rang in my ears.
Ryder
The world swam with color.Dancing color.
I reached out and ran my fingers through the vivid colors. They melted and reformed in the shape of a woman. Her dark hair reminded me of storm clouds. Her sharp eyes struck me like lightning.
The sight of her stole my breath. Her presence pulled me in, like she was a celestial body that I couldn’t ignore. I drifted in her direction, but she pulled away. Undeterred, I pursued. Without her, my hands were empty. I needed to fill them, to feel her skin under my touch. The world would end, the colors would fade, if I could not touch her again.
She went inside, into the dark.
“Sit,” she told me when I followed.
Now was not the time to sit. My visions slowly turned gray. Full of color and life, she remained at the center. I moved fast this time. I swept her up from the ground and spun her in my arms. She weighed so little yet felt like the weight of the world in my arms. I didn’t mind carrying her. If anything, I wanted to hold her until the light faded from the sky and never rose again.
Ness, the Barghest. Ness, the hound. Ness, everything I’d ever wanted.
A part of me knew that this was wrong, even as I tucked my bent knuckle under her chin. She made a soft sound. I could barely hear the word. Her lips moved, enchanting me. Then, what she’d said finally sank in.
“No.”
I gritted my teeth and dragged in a ragged breath. My head spun, but the growl of my beast cut through the intoxication. The beast would not let me hurt her. For that, I was grateful. I set Ness down and staggered away from her.
The couch hit the backs of my legs. I let myself fall onto the cushions. The room spun until Ness stepped into view again. Her brow furrowed as she stared down at me.
“I’m sorry,” I mumbled.
Still, I flexed my fingers for they were too empty. I needed to feel her. I needed to know that she was real and not some figment of this wild ride I was on.
Hadn’t I just held her? Wasn’t that enough?