He didn’t acknowledge me at first. He wouldn’t tear his gaze away from the grey horizon. The sky was still heavy with storm clouds. I bet the local meteorologists were losing their minds with all these sudden storms.
The thought made me laugh. That sound quickly died when Ryder narrowed his eyes at me. My stomach turned to ice.
“When were you going to tell me?” he asked.
I stiffened. Fear sent a subtle wave of cold through my veins.
“I don’t…I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Yeah, that was real inconspicuous.
Ryder’s lips formed a grim line that left me nervous. I opened my mouth to explain, then shut it before I could rat myself out. So far, I didn’t know what Ryder was talking about. If I spilled my guts now, I could expose myself.
He shook his head and turned away from me. I couldn’t help but notice how tightly he clenched his jaw.
This wasn’t looking good. I jammed my hands in my pockets because I wanted to reach out for him, but I doubted that would be a good idea. My nails bit into my palms from how hard I tightened my fists.
When Ryder fixed his dark glare on me, I knew he’d found out. The burning ire in his eyes carried the weight of every lie I’d fed him up until now. His expression held something else, too. I saw a heavy guilt behind it all.
I sighed and adjusted my beanie. “Ryder, I can explain…”
“Explain what? That you were just using me? I want to help you, Ness. I really do. No one should have to live like this, but I don’t want to be a pawn in this game.”
“You’re not a pawn!” I reached for his shirt to pull him close and stopped myself at the last second. “You’re not.”
“Then, when were you going to tell me that you couldn’t help me?”
My hound rioted. She could help. Give her time. I wanted to tell him that. In time, I could figure out what I was capable of. If he could just trust me for a little while, then…
But he couldn’t trust me since I’d lied to begin with. It’d been a lie of omission, but that was enough. I’d put the wrong foot forward and fallen on my face for it.
“Ryder…” My voice wobbled.
“You could have told me to move on. If I’d known that I was wasting my time here, then I never would have stayed.” His nose wrinkled.
Was I wrong, or did I see the glimmer of unshed tears in his eyes? My lie had cost him. What he’d paid, I wasn’t sure. All I knew was that Ryder had little left to give up.
“Then go,” I said. “I’ll break into Alvin’s house on my own. I’ll find what I need, and the pack will help me.”
Ryder threw his hands in the air. Lightning snapped in the air, flashing here and there around him. His growl rumbled like thunder, but I held my ground in the face of his anger. I had my own storm raging inside of me.
“When did I have time to discover my arcana?” I asked, irate. “Should I study it between giving Alvin my schedule? Should I practice it before Alvin takes my friends and uses them as an example? When, exactly, did I have time to figure any of this out?”
Ryder’s anger faltered for a moment. I saw a brief flash of pity that only made me angrier. That dark, twisted presence unfolded inside me. This time, it filled the space between my hound and myself. I was too full. It needed out. I wanted to unleash it on Ryder.
Instead, I swallowed it down. My heart trembled. I had no idea what that thing was. This new part of me, summoned by anger, couldn’t be good. I would not unleash it upon Ryder. He didn’t deserve it.
Ryder’s anger was justified, no matter how badly I wanted to fight. I shouldn’t have lied.
The dark presence settled back down into the depths of my gut. I shifted from foot to foot, uncomfortable with the knowledge that it was there. It had to be some kind of arcana, but I wasn’t in any hurry to find out how it worked.
“I will help during the hunt, but I’m leaving after that.” Ryder glanced at the skyline. “I have to. If I stay much longer…”
I wrapped my arms around myself and nodded. Though I should have thanked him, I kept my mouth shut as I turned away.
My hound howled with loneliness. She wanted me to go back to Ryder. He would come around. He would understand in time. The hound desperately tried to fling me back to Ryder’s feet. Her feelings for him were so strong that I fumbled in the doorway.
Ryder reached out to catch me, but I jerked out of his reach.
He growled, likely frustrated.
I straightened and fixed him with a glare. That dark presence unfurled once more. This time, it seemed to reach for the sky. It grabbed at the clouds and pulled down a lightning strike. The bolt slammed into the ground near the base of the porch steps behind Ryder.
He glanced over his shoulder at the darkened patch of ground.
Now, if only I could control that.