21
NESS
Iwanted nothing more than to sleep, but the cuff needed to come off. Aside from that, the threat of the coming hunt still haunted me. I could feel it over my shoulder. It was as if Alvin and the others were waiting for me to let my guard down.
“You don’t have to go,” Cerri said, softly. “I can call the others, and we can keep you safe tonight.”
I shook my head. “Tonight isn’t the only night that I’ll be in danger. I’ll have to hide for the rest of my life to escape Alvin.”
She tilted her head and peered up at me. “I mean, you could. It’s not too late to find another pack.”
“Everyone keeps saying that, but I can’t just leave!” My throat tightened. “I have to stay and help.”
“Stop trying to put everyone else before yourself. You don’t owe them anything.” Cerri shook her head. She sighed, her shoulders falling as she gave me a somber look. “I hope you know you deserve better than this.”
My eyes prickled. “So does everyone else in our pack. What is going to happen when I leave? Who will Alvin and Harvey hurt next?”
Cerri stiffened. She quickly recovered, but I caught her reaction all the same.
Instead of trying to pry information out of her, I let her get back to her work and looked behind me. Ryder had been standing outside for the past hour and a half. He faced away from us, like he didn’t want to see me.
I chewed on the inside of my cheek. I’d dumped my problems on his lap without warning him what that might entail. He’d been poisoned recently. I’d listened to his heartbeat and feared the worst. If my mess got him killed…I’d never forgive myself.
If the fight earlier taught me anything, it was that Alvin was seriously outmatched. Ryder was bigger, faster, and stronger. He could easily overthrow Alvin if he gave the fight his all. Ryder had hesitated several times, though.
He didn’t want to be here. Hell, he’d said that himself. I could tell him to leave, but a selfish part of me still wanted to keep him around. I needed his help. Without Ryder’s strength, I wasn’t sure that I could do what needed to be done.
It helped that his presence grounded me. With Ryder around, my hound didn’t feel so alone. Strange that she would become so attached to a dragon and not one of her own kind. She had no interest in the local canids, even if there were decent men here who tried to stay out of Alvin’s machinations.
I wanted one dragon.
Maybe…maybe if I indulged the hound, then I wouldn’t want him so badly. If I could have one night with him, then I would be able to let him go in the morning. That was always how Vi made it sound. She yearned for someone until she caught them in her grasp.
I, on the other hand, had little to no experience in that area.
I didn’t know anything about love. Sex, I had a better grasp on even if I’d never experienced it myself.
I shook myself and tried to cast my thoughts away. But Ryder chose that moment to look back. We locked eyes through the window. My heart leapt into my throat. My hound was still locked away, but I had the feeling that she would have rolled over for him in that moment.
My cheeks warmed. I turned around to focus on Cerri and her work.
I shouldn’t think about Ryder that way. It didn’t matter what my hound or my body wanted. I couldn’t get involved with him while I was lying to him. That wasn’t fair to either of us.
I let out a strangled laugh. “Cerri? I don’t want to die a virgin.”
She threw her head back and cackled. I slapped my free hand over her mouth to silence her, but she continued to laugh even though I’d muffled her. I cast a panicked glance back at Ryder to see if he’d heard. He hadn’t moved from his spot, though.
Cerri pried my hand away from her face. She wiggled her brows in Ryder’s direction. “The dragon likes you. Why else would he keep risking his life to help you?”
I sighed. “He needs me to help him with something. He won’t say what, and…well, I haven’t been very forthcoming about my abilities because I’m just now discovering that I actually have anything other than a knack for attracting trouble. Besides, he doesn’t have to risk much as a dragon.”
“That man nearly died on my couch for you. He’s risking a lot.”
Cerri had a point. I hung my head, defeated. Ryder and I couldn’t have anything, though. My lie would always stand between us. Ryder would ask me for help, eventually. When I failed to do what he asked of me, then it would all come crumbling down on my head.
Cerri finished with the cuff. The sigils stopped writhing and the cuff fell to the floor. We both jumped back as the thud rang through the living room. When we shared a look, we both understood that pair of cuffs would stay there until someone else was dumb enough to pick them up.
I left my friend to take photos of the cursed cuffs while I stepped outside to speak with Ryder. I owed him my gratitude.