Astrid shakes her head. “I didn’t want to tell anyone until after Christmas, but she guessed.”
She looks at my hand like she doesn’t trust it not to bite her. The suspicion in her gaze hits like a quick backhand. For eighteen years, these hands served as a source of comfort and protection. I fucking hate that I’ve given her a reason not to trust me.
“I have a couple projects in the works,” I tell her. “It’ll take at least a month to sell my house in Nashville, but I’ll move back to Troy right after New Year’s and let the realtor handle the sale.”
“You don’t have to do that, Finn.”
“Hell yeah, I do.”
“No, you don’t,” she says firmly. “I don’t want you uprooting your life for me.”
“Baby, don’t you get it?” I clasp one of her hands. “There is no life without you in it.”
“You said that last time, but it didn’t stop you from leaving.”
I let my spine bow with the force of my sigh. “You have every right to be angry, Astrid. I’m fucking furious with myself. But you came on this trip knowing I’d be here. I think part of you wanted to see me.”
She takes her hand back.
“You’re right, I did want to see you. I wanted to tell you that what you did was cruel and cowardly, and that you’re no better than the fuckboys at my school that you warned me to steer clear of. Though, now that I’ve said that out loud, it sounds mean.”
“It’s supposed to sound mean, and I deserve it. Every word.”
“You hurt me really bad, Finn.”
“I know.” I rest both hands on her knees so she can feel the weight of my sincerity. “I felt like the most evil bastard in the world for touching you. Your virginity wasn't mine to take, but it was yours to give, and you gave it to me. I’m sorry I dropped it. I'm sorry for leaving and I’m sorry you’ve had to carry this secret alone. I should’ve been there.”
“Yes, you should’ve.”
A tear tracks down her cheek. I catch it on my thumb and taste it.
“I’m sorry for not being a better man. But I’m not sorry for what happened between us.”
She meets my gaze for the first time. “You’re not?”
“How could I regret the most incredible night of my life?” I cup her jaw, pressing my thumb to the corner of her mouth. “Let me be here for you now, baby girl.”
“But what about your job? You worked so hard to get where you are. I can’t let you to give all up that for me.”
“It’s not about giving up. It’s about shifting priorities when something more important comes along.” I brush my thumb across her lower lip for emphasis, but she still doesn’t look convinced. “Are you worried I’ll resent you for it down the road?”
“Not just me...”
I touch my forehead to her brow. “Baby girl, I could never begrudge you anything. I’ll admit, I was shocked when I realized you were pregnant, but this baby’s a welcome surprise.”
“It is?”
“Fuck yeah. You came all the way to Vermont to hand me my ass for Christmas, and rightly so. I came because I can’t live without you. You’re my family, you and this baby. Home is wherever we make it, together.”
Her smile is starlight breaking up the dark. “Everyone’s going to freak out when we tell them.”
“They will, but I don’t give a damn. I love you, Astrid. I’ve been a goner since the day your parents brought you home from the hospital. I knew I was going to love and protect you for the rest of my life.”
Astrid’s sigh leaves her boneless. “I love you, too, Finn.” She lifts her shirt and places my hand on her belly, gasping. “Whoa...that feels...”
“What is it, baby girl?”
“I don’t know. I feel something...fluttery. I think he knows I’m happy.”