five
Finn
Backatthecabin, I mark the hours as they pass until I can slip off to Astrid’s room for the talk we should’ve had a long time ago. Since we ate heartily, I shouldn’t have to wait long for everyone to crawl into bed. I bide my time by showing Terry’s boys how to build a fire in the stone fireplace and taking advantage of the hot-chocolate bar provided by the resort.
I rifle through the packets of instant dark, milk, and white hot chocolate. I turn on the electric kettle and peruse the resealable glass jars stocked with a selection of add-ins. Astrid didn’t order coffee after dinner, so I fix her a white hot chocolate—since it’s caffeine free—and whip up a dark hot chocolate for Leena, tossing a cinnamon stick and a handful of mini marshmallows into each.
I set the mugs on the coffee table in front of Astrid and Leena.
“Thought you girls could use a nightcap.” I take a seat in the recliner opposite the couch where Astrid has folded herself into the corner.
Leena passes the mug to her cousin and grants me a small nod of approval. She definitely knows what happened, and has yet to forgive me for it.
Astrid stares at the drink like she’s waiting for it to play a trick on her. I offer an encouraging smile that I hope conveys my intentions: I mean to take care of you, baby girl. That cocoa is the first of countless indulgences I intend to shower you with, assuming you’ll have me.
“Okay, it’s all settled.” Astrid’s mom drops onto the couch next to Leena. “We’re all getting up at six to hit the slopes by seven tomorrow.”
“Sounds good,” Leena says.
Elaine turns to her daughter. “Astrid, I didn’t see your skis in the back of the car. Did you forget to bring them?”
“I decided not to bring my gear.”
“Didn’t you see my text in the group thread about us driving down to Stowe?” Terry asks.
“I saw it, but I thought I’d stay in and bake Christmas cookies with Gran instead.”
Elaine frowns. “We’re going to go out more than once, sweetie.”
“I’m sure Gran would love the company,” Leena says. I’ll bet the real reason Astrid decided not to bring her gear is on account of certain garments no longer fitting her changing body.
“Well, we’ll miss you.” Elaine yawns, stretching her arms out in front of her. “I’m going to go make sure Doreen didn’t drown in the hot tub.”
One by one, over the next hour, the rest of the family turns in. At quarter to midnight, I head up to the second floor, barefooted, so my feet don’t make too much noise on the hardwood.
I rap gently on Astrid’s door before testing the handle.
“Astrid?” I whisper, cracking the door slightly.
“Come in,” she says.
I slip into the dimly lit room and shut the door behind me. She’s already sitting up in bed, hugging her legs, dressed in a loose-fitted tee shirt. The neanderthal in me wonders if she’s wearing more than panties underneath.
“Why aren’t you wearing a shirt?” she asks.
I glance down my torso, at my black sweatpants and bare feet.
“Because it’s bedtime and this is what I sleep in.” I realize the only reason she doesn’t know what I wear to bed these days is because I chose not to spend the night with her. Still, I take it as a win that my body is such a distraction. It means she’s still attracted to me. I can work with that.
“Can I sit down?” I ask.
After a short pause, she nods.
I climb on the bed and sit beside her, close enough that our knees are almost touching. Astrid shifts so that she’s facing me with her hands in her lap. The urge to kiss her burns like liquid fire through my veins. But the simple act of resting my hand on her thigh makes her flinch.
“Y-you wanted to talk about the baby,” she says.
“I do want to talk about that, among other things. But first, just to be clear, does anyone besides Leena know that you’re pregnant?”