Another tear escaped my eye.
Hunter.
I took another deep breath and let it out slowly. This was so hard. Leo’s thumb brushed the tear away, and for a few moments, he didn’t kiss me. He held me to him, bumping my nose as we exchanged breaths, letting the silence in.
My hands explored him slowly. He was so wide now, his arms bulging under his clothing. His chest went on for miles, his abs like speedbumps I could trace with my finger. We stared at each other as his fingers ran through my hair, as his other moved up and down my spine. I was gradually bringing him back. His guard was dropping, but his reluctance was strong, like he was still holding back.
“You got your phone on you?” I asked him quietly.
He pulled it out of his pocket, and I took it, swiping the screen. “What’s the PIN?”
“Your birthday.”
I just blinked at him. “Seriously?”
He nodded, studying me with a soft expression. My cheeks felt hot as I plugged in my birthday into the phone. The phone unlocked, and I navigated to his music album—the only part of his phone that wasn’t sterile. He still had the wallpaper from when the phone was purchased; I swiftly changed that to a pretty picture of a dandelion.
“Dandelions aren’t anyone’s favourite flower, sweetness,” he murmured, amused as he watched me. He was thawing now, that faint smile reaching his eyes.
“They’remyfavourite,” I protested. He chuckled as I threw a soft song on. “We’re going to have to change this, you know. Put some happier beats on here.”
He didn’t respond, just nodded once, that peaceful smile still spread across his face. I set the phone down as the soft melody flowed through the air.
HolybyWolf Colony, the remix version byTep No.
Leo had good taste. I shut my eyes, coated with goosebumps as I sat in Leo’s lap, savouring this moment.
Just like that, I felt my melancholy fade to the edges of my being. This—Leo and me—became my sole focus. I think he sensed that because his body relaxed as he peered at me.
“Speak,” he commanded softly.
“I…I don’t know what to say,” I admitted.
“Tell me what you’re thinking.”
I just looked at him, feeling my eyes well up again.
I said nothing.
My heart hurt, but it also felt jittery at the same time. This was not a feeling I was used to at all.
He looked me over, his expression gentle, guarded. “I’m not going to fuck this up,” he whispered just then. “I can’t lose you.”
My brows furrowed. “You’re not capable of fucking anything up, Leo.”
“You don’t know how wrong you are,” he murmured, avoiding my eye now.
I hated the sadness rolling off him. The reserve. The pain. The loneliness. All of it was too much. How long had he been like this?
“We built parks for kids,” I sputtered out suddenly, feeling like I needed to diffuse the heavy pressure. “We knocked the old jungle gyms down and I helped pick out the playsets. I loved being part of that, Leo. It’s something I want to keep doing. Just…small things around town, help make those kids feel like they’re not alone, you know? I wish we’d had something like that growing up.”
“I like that,” he said.
“We also threw a lot of barbecues. It was really community driven.”
He nodded, listening intently as I carried on about the activities I’d been part of. I made sure not to bring up the club per say, but it was clear I was referring to them. How insanely fun it was to try new things.
“Did you party a lot?” he wondered after a while.