Chapter 23
Harley
“How is he?”
“Not talking about anything.”I rub my ever-growing belly as I pour my worries out to my dad.“He’s giving me this shit about not knowing who he is.When he does.”
“How do you know he does?Are you in his head?Are you asking him about how he’s dealing?Don’t assume he has it all figured out, Harley, just because you do.It took me a long time to realize I wasn’t the same as the person who spawned me.It was hard.It was work on myself and that’s the hardest work to do.I couldn’t change who I was just because I had a different last name or because someone wanted me to.It had to come from in here.”He points to his chest.“It wasn’t easy and it’s not going to be for him either.You’ve got to be patient with him, which I know is hard for you.You’re a talker.You want everyone to be as open as you are even though they can’t be.Believe it or not, there are people who were raised to be seen and not heard.”
“Well, that shit’s stupid.”I glare at him.
“To you it is, but being in a relationship means you’re willing to accept the other person for who they are.Bishop can’t help the way he was raised.You have to make sure he understands you’re going to be here for him no matter what.That he can’t push you away.He’s used to pushing people away and them leaving.”
“I’m not leaving.”I stomp my foot.“He can be mean all he wants.He can assume I’m going to be the same type of person he’s always dealt with, but I refuse to let him break up our family.”
“Make sure he knows that.”Dad reaches out, hugging me tightly.“I don’t like seeing you hurt.”
“I don’t like hurting.”I scoff.“Yet here we are.How do I make him understand that his beginnings don’t matter?”
“It’s not easy.”Dad rubs the back of his head.“As much as you love him, you can’t do the work for him.He’s got to come to a decision about what he wants.”
“He wants to pretend like he’s okay with what happened.”
“When you come from a family who likes to beat you down, there are many points where it’s easier to stick your head in the sand.It’s more comfortable not to confront it head on.You’re lucky, Harley.A lot of your life, you’ve never had to wonder where you came from or if people love you.You didn’t have to lay in bed at night and go over your entire life choices.”
“And you do?”I fire back at him.
“For a while I did, yeah.You know Gramps isn’t my biological dad.Back when I first took his last name and said it would be okay for him to adopt me, I would.I’d worry about what would happen if our real dad came back.How would he react?I never knew him, only the few stories Grandma told me about him and it scared me.No matter how strong Gramps and the club was, I was still afraid he could touch me.”He runs a hand through his hair.
“The way Bishop got ambushed today?”
“Yeah, and I’ve seen the video, Harley.It’s not pretty.His brother held him while his dad beat the shit out of him.It’s not the type of family we have and you need to be understanding of that.Sometimes it’s not easy to talk about your fears, even if it’s with the person you love.”
“Then who do you think he should talk to?”I retort.
“Want me to take a shot at him?Not tonight, because I think he’s been through enough.”
I glance over the face of the man who’s always made everything right for me.Even though I’m an adult, I want nothing more than for him to do the same thing today.“Tomorrow morning?Will you please?We gotta get this taken care of.We have a baby on the way.”
“If there’s anyone you can count on, it’s me, Harley.We’ll get this taken care of.”
Reaching forward, I clasp him in as tight a hug as I can.“Sorry, I can’t get all the way in there because of my belly.”I sniffle, laughing slightly.
“It’s okay.Doesn’t make the hug any less effective.”He winks.
“I love you, Dad.You’ve always made things right for me.”
“And I’ll do it again, promise you that.”