His words are like a knife stabbing and twisting in my heart.
“Well, if I’m so disgusting to you, stay out of my space. Oh, and you can find somewhere else to sleep tonight.”
He huffs. “Fine. Pack Caleb’s stuff up, and we’ll go.”
“Don’t be ridiculous, you’re not taking my son.”
He steps forward, forcing me back. The edge of the kitchen table digs into the back of my thighs and he cages me in, resting his fists on the wooden surface behind me. “Our son, Steph. He’s ours. And I’ll be damned if I’m leaving him here with you in this state.”
“Why do you have to be such a bastard?” I bang my fist against his hard chest, but he doesn’t flinch.
His hand grips my wrist. “You think I’m a bastard because I wouldn’t kiss you?”
“I just want you to love me. Why won’t you love me?”
“I do love you.” He growls with a pulsing vein in his neck, and every muscle in his body tenses as he hovers above me.
“Then show me. Show me you love me.”
He steps back but only to flip me over. Pressing his palm against my back, he pushes me flat against the table and leans over, growling in my ear, “Is this what you want?” His erection digs into the soft flesh of my behind.
Tears gather in the corners of my eyes as he tugs on my hair, lifting my head back to growl louder in my ear. “Is this what you want?” His voice deepens, like something from the depths of his soul has awoken.
I don’t even know what I want anymore, but this isn’t it. Memories of us flash through my mind. I’ve been here before, desperate for him to kiss me, and he refused. I tried to remind him how much he loved me by sleeping with him, but not kissing me just made me feel like a prostitute. He won’t do that to me again. I won’t be used for sex with no love or feeling. I can buy a vibrator for that.
“Not like this, Cal.” I tilt my head to see his eyes as black as a starless sky.
“Then what?” he spits, bearing down on me so I can’t move.
“Not like this, please. You’re hurting me.”
Immediately, he steps back. I rest against the table. My legs shake, and I cover my face with my hands as the tears pour out of me.
“Steph, I’m sorry. I never meant to hurt you. You know that, right?” He leans over to kiss my back. “Baby.”
I elbow him in the face as I turn to push him off. “Get the fuck off me.”
He steps away and leans against the wall, tilting his head back as he lets out a long sigh.
With tears still rolling down my cheek, I fill a glass of water with shaky hands. “You always hurt me, Cal. I won’t let you anymore.”
I don’t look at him and carry my drink to bed, forcing each unsteady foot in front of the other. From his reaction, he must think I meant a physical hurt, but nothing he could ever do physically could hurt more than the twisting pain in my stomach and the tearing in my chest after he ripped my heart wide open…again.