“Just check in the wash basket at the bottom of the stairs.” I point towards the hall. Cairen places his empty bowl in the sink and turns around with milk stains on his school jumper.
Steph huffs and wipes it with a kitchen roll, glancing at the clock. “Get your book bag. I don’t want to be late on my first day.”
Cairen runs upstairs for his bag. Cassie walks to the car parked in the driveway, and Steph unlocks it with the key fob. “Right. If you need me for anything, just call work.” She checks the time again.
“Steph. Don’t worry. We’ll be fine. I’ve kept two girls alive.” I give her a wide grin, and she relaxes her shoulders.
“Have fun with Daddy,” she says.
Cairen barges past me, knocking my legs with his Star Wars bag. “Daddy?” He scowls at me, as though I’m Darth Vader himself, before stomping to the car.
Steph sighs and closes her eyes, knowing she’ll have to deal with that now on the school run. I don’t envy her, but they had to know sooner or later.
I squeeze her arm. “He’ll get over it.”
She gives me a half smile and pecks Caleb on the forehead, stroking his dark hair as I hold him in my arms. She locks eyes with me as if she was about to give me a goodbye kiss, too, but quickly turns away. “Bye.”
“Steph.” I grab her arm before she walks out the door.
She turns around and swallows. Her chest rises before me as her breathing quickens. “Yes?”
I’m torn between a betrayed heart and mind that won’t forgive her for what she’s done, but my soul’s drawn to her. “Have a good day at work.”
“Thanks.” She gets into her car, and I stand in the doorway waving her off with our son in my arms. There was a time when I wanted us to be a family. I wanted to be her man and make her happy.
Now when I look at her, I get a sour taste in my mouth. If she’d told my mum about Caleb, things would have been different.
I want to forgive her. I wanted to pull her towards me and take her lips, smear that red lipstick across her cheek while she begs me to fuck her, but I can’t. Something in me wants her to suffer like she’s made me suffer. This whole time I’ve been pining for her, and she’s been living her life without a single thought for me. Does she even care?
She tortured me each time she went back with that prick of a husband, and then she left him and never even thought to tell me, not to mention had our son. Is it her way of getting revenge for how I treated her at uni? I never thought she could hurt me like this.
* * *
STEPH
My first weekback at work went quick, despite Kelly still on her honeymoon. It’s been so long since I had a holiday or a night out. Obviously, when Mark texted telling me he’s back in the city for work, lecturing at the university, I jumped at the chance to go out. He’s been up a few times since I met him on the art and wine course. I even let him paint me when I was pregnant. He still hasn’t shown me the painting, though. Says he’s still working on it.
“Who are you going out with tonight?” Cal asks, leaning against the bedroom doorjamb while Caleb plays on the bed, trying to get to the products in my clear makeup bag.
I pull a green dress from the hanger. “Just a friend.” I daren’t tell him about Mark. They hated each other at uni.
He stands straight. “Male or female?”
I turn around to face him. Is he jealous? “Male. Why?”
He shrugs a shoulder all nonchalant, but the tightening of his jaw doesn’t go unnoticed. “You’re not wearing that, are you?” He waves a hand towards the dress in my hand.
“Yes, so?”
“I think you should wear jeans.”
“Piss off and let me pass. I don’t want to be late.”
“That black dress would look better.”
“What black dress?” Is he actually being helpful now? His moods are giving me whiplash. If he’s trying to help me now, that only makes me feel worse, knowing he’s not affected by me going out with another man. Even if Mark is a friend.
Cal clears his throat and pulls out a black dress from my wardrobe.