“I don’t know,” I say. “It’s vibrating.”
“To the untrained eye. But this is fourth-generation undulating relaxation tech.”
Sounds like a euphemism for a high-tech sex toy. But I keep the comment to myself. Wyatt’s watching, and I don’t want to embarrass Yuna.
“I’m trying to finish this mask without getting damaged. UVA spares no one.”
“Well, let’s see the thing. You have curtains over every window.” I start toward them, walking past the sex chair.
“No, don’t open them!” she yells, obviously having sensed my movement. “UVA is an equal-opportunity ager.”
I turn around and almost trip over my feet. Yuna’s hair is in a tight topknot, and she’s in a black tube top and shorts. Her face, neck, shoulders, chest, arms and hands are covered with a thick, dark goo. Two slices of cucumbers sit on her eyes. She pulls them off, holding them with her fingertips.
Champ immediately goes crazy, making the same goosebump-raising sound.
Wyatt’s shocked as he places a comforting hand on Champ’s head. “That’s…your roommate?” What he’s really saying is: That’s who my daughter wants to emulate?
Who can blame him? Yuna looks terrifying. A monster that’s risen from a mud hole. The creature from the black slime lagoon.
Regardless, I remember my manners. “Um, yes. This is Yuna Hae. Yuna, this is Wyatt Westland, our neighbor and my…” I pause, wondering what the right word to describe him is. Lover sounds weird. Boyfriend… Are we even dating? Ugh. I should’ve just ended with “neighbor” and been done with it.
“Boyfriend,” Wyatt says decisively.
It’s a little surprising to hear him use the word. On the other hand, it definitely does make me feel all warm and fuzzy, like a girl who just learned the boy she has a major crush on likes her back. If he wants to call himself my boyfriend, he isn’t looking at us as a one-time thing. And to be honest, at this point I’m not either.
“Hi.” Yuna waves. “I’d shake hands, but I’m sure you don’t want my seaweed mask all over you.”
“That’s seaweed?” I ask. It looks like some kind of alien fertility gel.
“Yes. And I don’t know why Champ is acting up so much. He knows it’s me. I smell like me.”
“It’s your face,” I say. “And the rest of you. And your seaweed glop smells briny.”
“So are you saying he’s going to act weird if I put on a new perfume? He shouldn’t be so sensitive.”
“How long do you have to leave that stuff on?” Wyatt asks.
Yuna checks the timer on her lap. “Ten more minutes.”
“Champ may have an aneurism before then,” I say.
“Let me keep Champ calm,” Wyatt offers, then turns to me. “Why don’t you go shower and…do whatever is it you need to do?”
“Okay. Thanks.” I flash him a grateful smile.
I rush through a shower, but Champ is quiet the entire time I’m in the bathroom. Wyatt must be doing a great job of keeping him under control. I wish I’d spent the time to talk about where Wyatt and I are going with this…thing between us in more depth, maybe even lay down some ground rules, since there’s a kid involved, but I wanted to satisfy my curiosity about why he married Geneva. Regardless, we can figure out everything before Vi comes back. I hope she doesn’t mind too badly. I looked at my mother’s Husband Number Five with wariness since… Well, I didn’t trust my mom to marry for anything but money. Being a good father to me was never on her list of requirements in a man. But I think Vi’s going to know Wyatt and I aren’t like that.
After applying mascara and lipstick, I pull on a sundress and walk out to the living room, my hair slightly damp. Yuna’s gone, and Champ’s thumping his tail, panting at Wyatt, who’s sitting on my couch.
“All done?” Wyatt asks.
“Yeah. Where’s Yuna?”
“Gone to wash that stuff off.” Wyatt casts a glance at her room. “Is she always, you know…like this?”
“You mean, does the mask and stuff?” I sit next to him. “Maybe. I don’t know her that well. I only said yes because she needs a place to stay and is friends with some people I know.”
He nods. “Neighborly of you,” he says, although his expression says he doubts Yuna is really lacking in alternative living quarters, given the super-tech chair she brought in. It looks expensive.